


Because That’s What Heroes Do

by EnInkahootz



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: A different resolution to the Thanos problem, Afterlife, Angst and Feels, Brothers, But no Endgame Spoilers, Clairvoyance, Death, Endgame Fix-It, F/M, Fix-It, Friendship, Gen, Loki POV Third Person, M/M, Magic, Mind Control, Non-Explicit Sex, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Plot, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Quests, Redemption, Sentient Mjolnir (Marvel), Telepathy, Though written prior to Endgame it works as a, Time Travel, Trauma, Valhalla, Violence, a little romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 03:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 67,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnInkahootz/pseuds/EnInkahootz
Summary: Following the events ofAvengers Infinity War, Loki joins Heimdall and a sentient Mjolnir on a mission to undo the damage Thanos has done and defeat him once and for all.  During their efforts to escape Valhalla and reunite with Thor, the group gains an unlikely ally in the Grandmaster; later, Thor gets Tony Stark to join the team.  As Loki struggles to process his villainous and traumatic past, everyone must use their special skills, including magic, technology, telepathy and clairvoyance, in order to follow Heimdall’s plan for rescuing the universe.





	1. Welcome Home, I Saw You Coming

**Author's Note:**

> Much thanks and credit to [ellerkay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellerkay/) for many of the ideas used in this fic as well as endless inspiration and support.

Loki was finding Valhalla to be even more enjoyable than the time he had spent ruling Asgard. In order to obtain the respect and adoration of his people, Loki had been required to assume Odin’s form. Loki had to pretend to be someone else in order to be viewed as worthy. He had to hide who he was in order to find happiness. But here in Valhalla, he was himself, and still they honored him. He had earned this.

“More wine, Loki?” a disembodied voice spoke. Loki had only just taken the last sip from the ornate golden goblet in his hand. Along the stem and base of the goblet were emeralds and black diamonds. Everything in his suite was decorated in his color scheme, which Loki found comforting.

“Yes, thank you,” Loki told the voice. His goblet filled with wine at once. Loki set it down and went back to his drawing. The music he had been listening to before his suite’s helper voice had spoken now resumed, and he settled into a chair that was even more comfortable than the Throne of Asgard had once been.

A short time later there was a knock on his front door. Loki was annoyed because he had been immersed in the creative flow of his art and now his concentration was broken. He set down his pen and walked across his spacious suite to see who had dared to bother him.

“So, it’s true,” Hogun said with disappointment. Fandral and Volstagg were standing behind him. Volstagg looked dumbfounded.

“Well, if it isn’t The Warriors Three,” Loki said in a casual tone, “what a pleasure to see you again.” He gave them a disingenuous smile.

“How can you be here?” Fandral said, looking appalled.

Loki didn’t say anything. He had thought about that a lot himself, after all the terrible things he had done in the past. He wasn’t sure himself that he was worthy of Valhalla.

“I died a warrior’s death,” he told them coldly.

“You mean fighting a monster you used to work for?” Fandral said with a glare.

“How do you even know how I died?” Loki exclaimed. As far as Loki had surmised, being in Valhalla didn’t allow one to view other realms. 

“Word travels fast around here,” Fandral explained, “I thought you would have known by now that everyone is talking about you.”

Loki couldn’t help but smile at the idea of all that attention being paid to him. It almost made him think he ought to leave his suite from time to time. But only almost.

“And how exactly did you find my suite? Was that gossip as well?” Loki asked bitterly. He already knew there was no map of Valhalla, and he liked that he was difficult to find. Loki was sure he had no shortage of enemies here. But he had felt confident that he wouldn’t be located by any of them. Space didn’t even exist in a logical manner in the realm of Valhalla and, as far as Loki could tell, the helper voices built into the suites could only reveal the locations of close friends and family one might wish to reunite with. Certainly, The Warriors Three did not fall into that category, and Loki was sure that sentiment was mutual. And yet, they had managed to find their way to him. Perhaps all the attention being paid to his arrival wasn’t a good thing after all. Loki made a mental note to ward his suite for privacy as soon as they left.

“Besides,” Volstagg yelled, ignoring Loki’s question, “whatever happened in your final moments, that doesn’t cancel out everything you did before that.”

“I saved our people from Hela.”

“Is that so?” Hogun replied pointedly, “because we heard that _Thor_ saved the people of Asgard from Hela.”

“Not on his own, he didn’t,” Loki spat, “now if you’ll excuse me.” He began to close the door, but Volstagg caught it and held it open. The three of them scowled at Loki in unison.

“It is not up to you who gets sent to Valhalla and who gets sent to Hel,” Loki told them, “luckily for me. Now go back to enjoying paradise and leave me alone. There’s literally endless space here. Stay away from me and we shall never have to interact,” Loki moved to slam the door, “luckily for me,” he added. 

~

The last words that Loki heard before he woke up from his nightmare were in Thanos’ voice. Loki forgot the details of the dream at once, but the intense feelings remained. He wrapped his arms around himself and rocked his body slightly, trying not to cry.

“You can cry here,” said the helper voice.

“Leave me alone,” Loki screamed. He grabbed the lamp from the nightstand and threw it in no direction in particular. There was nowhere to aim because the voice came from the room itself, from everywhere and nowhere. Loki knew it only intended to help, but he didn’t always know how to accept help. And he did not want to let himself cry. He especially did not want to cry over Thanos.

But all at once Loki was crying. A soft blanket suddenly wrapped around his back and he clutched it close to him. He heard the soft clink of a spoon and turned to find a cup of tea beside him, and a box of tissues next to it.

“Thank you,” he mumbled. He was resentful, and grateful. The tea was very sweet, which was exactly how he liked it. Loki drank it as tears ran down his face, then set down the empty cup and started to sob. He felt exposed.

“Would you rather be alone?” asked the voice.

“Aren’t I?” Loki replied.

“No. Here you are only ever alone if you want to be.”

Loki didn’t say anything. He didn’t tell the helper voice to go, only cried for a while more and then went back to sleep.

~

Loki slept past the morning for the twelfth day in a row. When he finally woke up from his fitful sleep it was afternoon, and a pot of coffee was waiting for him in the kitchen.

“I don’t want to eat,” Loki told the helper voice before it had a chance to ask what he wanted for breakfast. He sat down to sip his coffee.

“Is there anything else you’d like then?”

Loki didn’t reply. It irked him to realize how much he had started to think of the voice as a real person, as someone who cared about him. He reminded himself it was simply a tool made of Valhalla’s magic and programmed to serve him. To serve him, but not to care about him - that part was an illusion. It couldn’t care because it wasn’t real. Yet, Loki sometimes had trouble separating illusion from reality.

“Well, just let me know,” the voice told him.

Just like every day since The Warriors Three had reminded him to hate himself, Loki didn’t work on his drawings that day. He didn’t read any books, even when a stack of brand-new ones appeared on his nightstand. He didn’t eat or drink or listen to music. He only lay in bed and cast dark images into the air with his magic. With mournful eyes he stared up at the scenes he created. The ceiling in his bedroom was high, leaving plenty of space for him to paint his tortured memories with the brush that was his magic. When certain scenes made his chest feel too tight and his heart beat frantically, Loki reminded himself these were simply illusions - but it didn’t help, because these things had really happened in the past. These things were true. Loki suffered through the terror and the guilt and continued the activity in spite of the pain, or perhaps because of it.

Why did he want to see them, Loki wondered. Why did he want to replay the moment when he made the choice to subjugate Midgard? Why did he want to recall in such detail the first Midgardian he killed? And why did Loki want to witness Thanos torturing him after he had tried to back out of their plan?

He didn’t fully comprehend his motivation, but Loki watched his memories for a few more hours anyway. He moved on to the other Midgardians he had killed, his hand gesturing gracefully as he cast the images. He found he couldn’t picture each of his victims in detail the way he could the first. It wounded him to know he couldn’t even offer them the honor of being remembered.

Then Loki thought further back to the other mistakes he had made. With his fingers he drew himself trying to kill Thor with the Destroyer. He saw himself freeze Heimdall with the Casket of Ancient Winters. He thought about that cold hard darkness inside himself -

_“I found you,”_ a voice spoke into Loki’s mind. He sat up, startled. It wasn’t the helper voice he was used to, and it wasn’t in the room - it was speaking directly into Loki’s head. Then Loki realized the voice was familiar.

_“Heimdall?”_ Loki asked with his thoughts.

_“I’ll be right there.”_

Not long after there was a knock at Loki’s door.

“Finally,” Heimdall said when Loki opened it, “you don’t leave your suite, do you. You warded it for privacy?”

“Yes,” Loki said, alarmed by Heimdall’s arrival, “but you could see me anyhow, it seems.”

“It is possible for my powers of sight to break through warding once someone is thinking about me,” Heimdall said hurriedly, “I have been waiting.” His face displayed emergent concern. 

“Come in,” Loki invited him. He stepped to the side and Heimdall rushed through the doorway.

Loki reminded himself there was nothing to worry about. His suite’s helper voice had told him so when he arrived in Valhalla. The voice assured him that all he had to do now was relax, and that everything was all right. Loki had embraced that as reality, and he clung to the idea, even as it began to fade away.

“There is still trouble in the realms of the living. Your help is needed,” Heimdall told him.

“But,” Loki said with desperate hope, “surely Thanos was defeated.” 

Heimdall shook his head, obliterating what remained of the sense of ease Loki now understood had been an illusion. Loki felt the sudden absence of his denial so keenly that his sight blurred for an instant. 

“Thor?” Loki inquired at once, “is he, did Thanos -” 

“Our King yet lives,” Heimdall said with relief. Loki was relieved too, though a part of him had been happy at the prospect of being reunited with his brother in Valhalla. That part of him was disappointed that Thor had survived, and Loki felt guilty. 

Loki was also disgusted with himself for having been so willing to ignore the reality of what he had seen before his death. Thanos and his minions had already killed so many of Loki’s people by then, but when Loki arrived in Valhalla the helper voice had made him feel that everything was alright. The voice said not to worry about anything but enjoyment, and Loki had done so as best he was able. He didn’t know if there was some magic in that, if the powers of Valhalla guided one into forgetting about any responsibilities they might have left behind. He hoped it was magic, and not simply his own selfishness. 

“And is he,” Loki paused, terrified of the answer, “is Thor all that remains of the people of Asgard?” 

“No,” Heimdall rushed to reply, and Loki felt his despair shifting slightly. At least their victory at Ragnarok had not been entirely for naught. At least they were not extinct.

“Though they were separated from Thor, half of Asgard survived the attack on the Statesman,” Heimdall explained, “but Thanos murdered the other half of our people there on the ship,” he paused, and Loki could tell from his face that there was more. “And then,” Heimdall revealed sadly, “then Thanos acquired all of the Infinity Stones.”

Loki knew what that meant. During his time with Thanos before his attempt to conquer Midgard, Loki had heard all about Thanos’ supposedly noble goal of saving the universe by exterminating half of all life. Finding out about it was what made Loki try to back out of his initial agreement with Thanos. Loki had wanted to rule Midgard and had been willing to sacrifice the lives necessary to accomplish this - but playing a part in the extermination of half of the universe was beyond the scope of Loki’s villainous aspirations. Even in his worst moments, Loki knew there was a line to be drawn somewhere. But Thanos had not allowed Loki to back out.

Loki was afraid to ask how many Asgardians were left after Thanos achieved his objective. Hela had slaughtered two thirds of the original population of Asgard, and Thanos had cut that number in half when he attacked the Statesman on its way to Midgard. How few Asgardians then remained once Thanos had used the Infinity Gauntlet to take half of the overall population of the universe? The part of Loki that longed for the contentment of denial didn’t allow him to ask the question aloud.

Loki sat down on the couch because he felt like he might fall over. Emotions rushed at him in a weighty tangle that overwhelmed him. He mourned for those of his people who had survived Ragnarok only to die months later. Loki had fought for their lives and it had meant nothing. Loki mourned even for Heimdall, who was standing right in front of him. And Loki mourned for himself, because he had finally found his way to goodness, and to Thor, and then suddenly came the end. 

And then Loki remembered that this was all his fault for taking the Tesseract from Asgard. Had he not done that, Thanos would have had no reason to attack the ship, and the Space Stone probably would have been destroyed along with Hela. Thanos never could have achieved his goal if Loki had only been able to resist the selfish instinct to take the Tesseract from the Vault. 

Then Loki thought back further, to the era of his quest to take over Midgard, and realized it was doubly his fault that Thanos had obtained the Space Stone. If only Loki had stayed firm in his refusal to remove the Asgardian spell that once protected the Tesseract from being penetrated. If that magic encasement had remained, Thanos could not have gotten to the Space Stone inside when he finally obtained the Tesseract after attacking the Statesman. 

Loki felt keenly the deep self-loathing he had always known, and he wanted to cry out to the Great Allfathers that sending him to Valhalla had been a terrible mistake.

“We can still help,” Heimdall told him as he sat beside Loki on the sofa, “We can help not only our own people, but those of the Nine Realms and beyond.”

“What, you can bring people back to life now?” Loki asked, his voice distant.

“No,” Heimdall said mournfully, “I wish it were so. All who Hela took from us, and all who died before them, they cannot return to the realms of the living,” Heimdall paused for a moment of respectful silence before continuing, “but there may be a way to rescue those who died after Ragnarok.”

Loki stared at him. He didn’t believe there was a way. Heimdall had always had too much faith. Still, a part of Loki wanted to hope. If everyone who survived Ragnarok were brought back to the realms of the living, then Loki would be reunited with Thor there.

“Loki,” Heimdall went on, “Ragnarok had already made us an endangered people. We could not afford to lose so many beyond that,” he paused, looking pained, “but we did. Thanos took them. And now we must bring them back, and stop Thanos from ever hurting them again. They are our people and they need us. Loki, the whole universe needs us.”

“Well,” Loki snapped, “the last time I opposed Thanos I ended up dead, and now he’s even more powerful, so I’m not sure what you expect me to do.” 

Loki felt badly for being curt with Heimdall, because it was himself he was angry with. Still, everyone here in Valhalla was supposed to be done solving problems. Why was Heimdall still trying? Did he not have a suite helper voice of his own to tell him all was well? As far as Loki knew, everyone here got one. Or was Heimdall just that much of a hero that he would seek to continue the fight even after having made his way to Valhalla, no matter what voice or what magic told him he was done.

“I expect you not to give up on the fight for good,” Heimdall told Loki.

“And why, pray tell, would you ever expect that from me?”

For a long moment Heimdall stared searchingly into Loki’s eyes, and Loki felt far too visible. Loki maintained eye contact, despite his instinct to look away.

“Because you are a hero now, and if you help me, you will prove it to all who would doubt you.”

Loki was startled by the word, and he looked at Heimdall incredulously.

“I’m not.”

Heimdall watched him too intently again.

“I am not a hero,” Loki told him.

“Well then, it seems you must prove it to yourself as well as the others.”

Heimdall waited but Loki didn’t reply. He didn’t believe that Heimdall really saw him that way. It was clearly just something he was saying to get Loki to agree to help, to pull him away from paradise in order to pursue what sounded like an impossible goal. 

“You will be brought back as well, you know,” Heimdall pointed out, apparently trying a new tactic. This had already occurred to Loki, but he wasn’t sure he was better off alive than he was here in Valhalla. He did miss Thor, but existence in the realms of the living required so much effort. Every moment of living meant struggling, and here in Valhalla there was an ease he had never before known. How could he be expected to give that up? Hadn’t he already earned this?

Heimdall sighed. Loki imagined it must have been frustrating to attempt to play into Loki’s selfishness and have it backfire.

“Then,” Heimdall tried, “let us take vengeance upon him. For our people, for everyone whose lives have been taken by Thanos, let us avenge everyone he has harmed.” Heimdall gave Loki a look of fierce determination. “Let us make him pay for all he has done.”

Loki had no idea how Heimdall planned to get them out of Valhalla, not to mention how he planned to bring back Thanos’ recent victims and defeat the Mad Titan, activated Infinity Gauntlet and all. Loki didn’t want to have hope that it was possible. Still, he felt irresistibly drawn to the idea of vengeance and thrilled by the thought of putting an end to the monster that had taken so much from him. 

“Tell me your plan.”

Heimdall smiled with relief and nodded gratefully.


	2. This Is Madness

“I hate leaving my suite. This place is like some kind of Midgardian cafeteria.”

“Do not worry, we are almost there.”

Loki followed Heimdall through the common spaces until they reached the door to someone’s suite. Heimdall had not told Loki whom they were going to see, only that it was someone else who was required for his plan.

Heimdall knocked.

“Who is it?” a voice asked. Loki was startled because it sounded like the same disembodied helper voice he had in his suite. 

“Heimdall and Loki,” Heimdall told the voice.

There was a pause and then the door opened, but there was no one standing behind it. Loki looked around.

“What is this?” he asked Heimdall.

Heimdall gestured and Loki turned around to see Mjolnir, made whole again, floating toward them.

“Uh,” Loki said, at a loss.

“You’re surprised I am here?” said the voice. Loki looked around. The voice was coming from the room, just as the helper voice attached to Loki’s suite came from whichever room he was in at any given time. It wasn’t coming from Mjolnir, but it seemed to be speaking on Mjolnir’s behalf.

“I, Mjolnir, do not have the ability to speak aloud,” said the voice, “but I have sentience, and I always have. Here in Valhalla, my assigned suite helper – the voice you hear - is able to connect to my thoughts and vocalize them for me. I’m very grateful to be able communicate with others this way, especially now that I do not have Thor to talk to.”

Loki was disoriented, but he hated to appear out of control.

“No, of course I’m not surprised that you’re here,” he lied, “I saw you die a warrior’s death.”

“Good,” said Heimdall, “now let us get started.”

Loki tore his attention away from the floating Mjolnir, and he and Heimdall sat down on the sofa.

“Yes,” Loki said, “tell us how you even plan to get us out of Valhalla. It’s forbidden, which doesn’t bother me, but I think it’s also probably impossible.”

“Ah,” Heimdall gave a small smile, “you said _‘probably.’_ ”

Loki smirked because he did like to push back against the supposedly impossible.

“In order to get out of Valhalla,” Heimdall began, “we will need to harness the power of Bifrost. Together, I believe we can create a Bifrost powerful enough to transport us through the walls of Valhalla.”

“Do you have your sword?” Loki asked at once, “I thought it would have gotten destroyed during the attack on the Statesman. Or did it end up here in Valhalla too?” Loki looked around, half expecting to see the Bifrost sword floating around somewhere.

The room’s voice chuckled on Mjolnir’s behalf.

“Not all weapons have a consciousness,” Mjolnir told him using the voice.

“I see, of course,” Loki said, trying to sound nonchalant, “so, no Hofund means no key - no way to harness the power of Bifrost.”

“Well -” Heimdall began.

“And even if you did have your sword to harness the power, what would be our power source? The Rainbow Bridge is gone again, along with the rest of Asgard, so I assume you were thinking of using dark magic as a source of Bifrost power? But can dark magic even be summoned to Valhalla?”

“Dark magic -”

“And even if we managed to access, and harness, the power of Bifrost - even if we had both active dark magic as a power source _and_ Hofund to wield it – I highly doubt any Bifrost could pass through the walls of Valhalla. Working together isn’t going to change that, Heimdall. This isn’t like one of the Nine Realms.”

“Well -”

Loki started to interrupt again, but Heimdall put up a hand and Loki quieted.

“Our time is short,” Heimdall told him, “we must take one step at a time and not dally along the way.”

Loki nodded.

“First, the sword,” Heimdall continued, “I believe we can obtain the essence of Hofund using your magic.”

“Oh?” Loki asked, interested. He enjoyed exploring new things his magic might be able to accomplish.

Heimdall nodded. “I have located a spell, but I do not have your powers.”

Loki gave a small grin as Heimdall retrieved a scroll from the leather pouch strapped around his waist.

“I am told the spell is not easy to perform,” he warned as he passed the scroll to Loki, “but you are the second greatest master of magic I have ever known, after your mother.”

For a moment Loki was too moved to speak.

“Wait,” he said suddenly, “why have you not enlisted her help instead? She’s here too.”

Heimdall shook his head. “Frigga has been here too long. Valhalla is bound to her now. It is only because we have been here a short enough time that this plan may work. That is one reason we must hurry. We must depart from Valhalla before we, too, are bound eternally to this realm.”

“Yes, then I see why you needed me.”

“That is not the only reason.”

“Oh?”

“But one thing at a time. I have found that the best way to accomplish a task. The spell is difficult. It is better for you to focus on that for now.”

“Alright,” Loki said, annoyed. Heimdall always did love to be cryptic.

“I’ve already gathered the supplies,” Heimdall told him, gesturing to a nearby room.

“Very well then,” Loki replied, “I won’t dally.”

~

The spell was, in fact, difficult. But Loki was always determined when it came to his magic, and though he remained in the dark about the details, he knew time was short. 

Loki felt like someone was watching him. He turned and saw Mjolnir floating in the doorway.

“How is your work going?”

“Uh,” Loki felt very strange talking to a hammer, “slowly, but I shall figure it out.”

“Can I help?”

Loki didn’t know how Mjolnir could possibly help but he did think the offer was rather nice. After observing Mjolnir as Thor’s silent companion for so many years, Loki was now faced with the opportunity to get to know what he had thought was an inanimate object. It was bizarre, and fascinating. 

“Thank you,” he replied, “but I don’t think so.”

Mjolnir floated into the room and hovered above the table where Loki was working, as though examining what Loki had done so far.

“Do you have eyes?” Loki asked before he could stop himself. It was a distraction from the task at hand, but he was uncontrollably curious about Mjolnir’s newly revealed state.

“Not really,” Mjolnir said, “but sight was part of the magic that was built into me when I was made. Everything I needed to be the ideal weapon, I was given by my maker, Eitri of Nidavellir. Sight was deemed necessary, and hearing, and other such things that help in battle. Not speech though.”

“But you could talk to Thor?”

“Yes,” Loki could hear Mjolnir’s fond smile in the tone of the voice that spoke, “Thor and I were Bonded, which created a telepathic connection. We could understand each other without speech.”

“Do you miss him?” Loki asked after a pause.

“Very much.”

“Me too.”

“Are we making progress?” Heimdall asked from the hall.

“I guess we are dallying too much,” Mjolnir said in a whisper. Loki smiled. He never would have expected Thor’s hammer to have a sense of humor.

~

When it started to get late, Loki took the supplies back to his own suite to work in solitude. He was getting frustrated and needed to focus. They all agreed to meet in the morning at Mjolnir’s suite. Loki was determined to have the spell puzzled out by then.

There was hot tea waiting for him when he got back to his suite.

“Thank you,” he said to his suite’s helper voice. It was strange now, having heard Mjolnir’s words in a voice that sounded just the same.

“What else can I get you, Loki?”

Loki suddenly felt very lonely. He wished the voice had a body and could sit beside him. He wondered if the suite helpers had the ability to take form. Even if they didn’t, it would be simple for Loki to cast an illusion, a body for the voice to use – but that sounded dangerous. Loki already had to remind himself all the time that the voice couldn’t truly care about him. 

“I met another suites’ voice today,” Loki said.

“It bothers you? That we all sound the same?”

“It’s eerie.”

“I can sound different if you prefer?”

Loki nodded without thinking.

“How’s this?” Loki heard the room say in an entirely new voice. Though both voices had been gender-neutral, the new one was slightly higher pitched. It was smooth and a little lyrical and exceedingly calm, and Loki realized how stressed he was by contrast. 

“I like it,” he said.

“Good,” said the new voice, “now let me get you something to eat.”

Loki let the voice choose what to serve him, and he ate it while he worked on the spell. 

The first part of the spell he had mastered - locating the essence of Hofund. Loki had found it early in the evening, a cloud of pulsing bronze energy. It hovered over the largest piece of its physical form, which floated aimlessly in space along with the ship’s other debris. The second part of the spell was to conjure it from there to Valhalla. Conjuring was usually as easy as breathing for Loki, but Valhalla’s walls were legendary, designed by the Great Allfathers themselves to keep out anything that didn’t have permission to be there. A complex magical barrier was defeating Loki’s every effort. It angered him.

“Maybe a break would help,” the voice said some hours later.

Loki scowled. 

“I don’t think you’re here to nag me.”

“I’m here to give you whatever you need. That is what I’m doing.”

Loki didn’t say anything for a long moment. He felt again like the voice cared about him, and he chided himself. 

But then, all at once he wanted to stop fighting it. He wanted to let himself believe that the voice truly did feel concern and affection for him. That it was his friend.

“Do you have a name?” he asked. He had been purposefully avoiding asking the question since he arrived. He did not want to become emotionally attached to what had introduced itself as a helper built into his suite. Loki’s emotions were often difficult for him to manage and he didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize his place in Valhalla.

“You can give me one,” replied the voice, “if you want to.”

“Do others here tend to give names to their suite helpers?”

“Why should that matter?”

“I suppose it shouldn’t,” Loki admitted, “then I shall give you the name…” he paused and considered. He recalled Skoa River in Asgard, a serene place where he used to sit when he was young, thinking or reading or drawing. That river was comforting in the same way his suite’s voice was. “River,” he concluded, “I shall call you River.”

“Good choice.”

Loki smiled, and again thought about casting an illusion of a body to represent River. But that still felt like it was going too far.

“Now,” said River, “how about some tea? And putting aside your work for a time.”

“Heimdall says we are on a deadline,” Loki replied, realizing how exhausted he was.

“You won’t make any progress if you’re too tired to focus.”

Loki had to agree, and he turned away from his desk. He saw a cup of tea, steaming teapot beside it, and a plate of pastries appear on the kitchen table and made his way to them.

“Thank you,” he said, “River.”

~

Heimdall was already in Mjolnir’s drawing room when Loki arrived the next morning. He stared at Loki with hopeful eyes.

“Have you done it?”

“Good morning to you too,” Loki said sarcastically, then smirked with satisfaction as he revealed a small glass vial. Bronze wisps glinted and swirled eagerly inside. 

Heimdall sighed with relief. “Well done, Loki.” Loki passed him the vial and Heimdall held it in his hands and smiled fondly at it.

“Yes, well done,” said Mjolnir, “and good morning,” Mjolnir added in a sunny voice.

Loki grinned.

“So,” Loki said to Heimdall, “now that we have the essence of Hofund, the key to wield Bifrost power, how are we going to get a source for the power itself?”

“As you know, there are two sources for Bifrost power,” Heimdall began, “the first was the Rainbow Bridge, which of course was destroyed during Ragnarok. After the Bridge was destroyed the first time,” Heimdall paused and glanced at Loki. Loki’s face fell because that first time had happened when Loki had set out to destroy Jotunheim and Thor, being a hero, had sought to stop him. Loki met Heimdall’s gaze and Heimdall’s face softened. Loki didn’t know if his expression meant forgiveness, or if it just meant that Heimdall needed Loki for his plan.

“We were able to rebuild the Bridge later using the Tesseract,” Heimdall went on, “or, more precisely, using the Space Stone that was hidden within. Of course, now Thanos has that.”

Loki cringed. It seemed to him that every moment of everyone’s pain could be traced back to choices he had made, and he despised himself. Because he had unlocked the Tesseract during his time with Thanos, because he had taken the Tesseract from Asgard after Ragnarok, because he had let Thanos take it from him – Loki’s people were on the brink of extinction. And it was not only the people of Asgard who suffered. Half of the universe was gone and, as much as he despised Thanos, Loki couldn’t help but feel it was his own fault. 

“Since there is no way to recreate any sort of Bridge now,” Heimdall continued, “we must turn to dark magic for a source.”

“Your incantation?” Loki asked.

“Has failed repeatedly,” Heimdall answered, “it is blocked not only by Valhalla’s walls,” Heimdall revealed, “but by my promise to the Great Allfathers that using it to send the Hulk to Midgard would be the last time.”

“Shall I try using the incantation then?”

“No,” Heimdall replied, “it is a function of the particular powers given to me by the Great Allfathers when they selected me as,” he paused, “as Asgard’s Protector.” His face fell.

“You are still acting as Asgard’s Protector, Heimdall,” Loki said comfortingly.

“Yes,” Heimdall said. His voice was tinged with sadness, thinly veiled by a tone of strained determination.

“The Great Allfathers could not have chosen anyone worthier of that role than you,” Loki stated.

Heimdall smiled, but his eyes were sad.

“So,” Mjolnir said, “do you have another idea?”

“Yes,” Heimdall nodded, “I do.”

He looked at Mjolnir for a long time.

“What?” Loki asked impatiently.

“Hela,” Mjolnir told him, apparently having read Heimdall’s face, “as the Goddess of Death, Hela possessed dark magic. It was a part of her.”

“What?” Loki exclaimed, “don’t tell me she’s here too? Wow, they really just let anyone in, don’t they?”

“No, of course she is not here,” Heimdall said quickly.

“But I used to be Bound to her,” Mjolnir told Loki in a sad tone, “before I was Thor’s, I was Hela’s, you see. That is why she was able to…” Mjolnir trailed off and was silent for a moment. Loki recalled seeing Hela crush Mjolnir in her hand, and he imagined the pain of being destroyed by someone to whom you were once a loyal companion.

“So,” Mjolnir asked Heimdall after the pause, “you think her villainy is still a part of who I am?

“Not exactly,” Heimdall said, “Mjolnir, you were enchanted by Odin to be wielded only by one who is Worthy. But the definition of Worthiness was tied to his Will. So, in those dark days when Asgard conquered instead of protected, Hela perfectly fit Odin’s definition of Worthiness. But when Odin learned to see things more clearly, he realized that Worthiness is defined by heroics, and not by bloodshed.”

Loki watched Mjolnir, who floated motionless beside them. He wondered what facial expression he would be seeing if Mjolnir had a face.

“Once your definition of Worthiness had been corrected, you chose Thor and the two of you were Bonded. But,” Heimdall said slowly, “before that you chose Hela.”

Loki felt an alarmingly profound affinity with Mjolnir. During their time on the Statesman, Thor had told Loki about the hidden mural on the Palace ceiling that revealed, among other things, that Hela once wielded Mjolnir. Loki could tell that the knowledge burdened Thor, and he had felt badly for his brother’s pain, but that was before Loki knew that Mjolnir, too, had a consciousness. Now Loki could imagine with painful clarity how Mjolnir must feel – having brought forth death and destruction, then having come to goodness, yet never set free of the shackles of past misdeeds, burdened always with deep regret. Loki wondered if Mjolnir handled the guilt better than he did. It certainly seemed that way, but they didn’t really know each other that well.

“You want me to be what I was?” Mjolnir asked. Loki didn’t know that Mjolnir could cry without any eyes, but the voice that spoke on Mjolnir’s behalf certainly sounded to be on the brink of tears.

“No,” Heimdall rushed to say. He sighed. “Mjolnir, I am sorry to pain you this way, but we must do what must be done to save our people. And it is not only them - we are talking about rescuing half of the entire universe from death, and the other half from living under the rule of a murderous dictator who thinks he is a benevolent god. All the Nine Realms, which Asgard swore to protect, and more realms beyond those, all require our help.” 

Heimdall paused, perhaps waiting for Mjolnir to speak, then continued, “and you will not lose who you are now. You will still be defined by Worthiness in the truest sense of the word, the ethical sense, and it will still be Thor who you are Bound to, and not Hela.”

“But?”

“But it is my hope that Loki will be able to access the imprint that Hela’s dark magic left on you. It isn’t who you are anymore,” Heimdall rushed to add, “but something of it remains, like a scar. And we can use its evil for good.”

Mjolnir didn’t say anything further, and Loki knew how excruciating it must be for one to have confirmation that darkness was scarred inside them.

“Have you another spell for me to use then?” Loki asked, breaking the long silence, “Or shall I begin creating a spell of my own?”

“No,” Heimdall replied, “there is no spell anyone could write that would change the Allfather’s Will, and so we cannot use a spell to alter his definition of Worthiness, to,” he glanced at Mjolnir regretfully, “to define Worthiness in the old way, Hela’s way…” he explained, his voice trailing off.

“Change Odin’s Will?” Loki asked, “but he’s here too, why do we need to use Mjolnir? Did Odin refuse to help?”

Heimdall shook his head. “Odin is not the Allfather anymore. The title of the Allfather - and the accompanying connection to the powers of the Great Allfathers - is passed down along with the Kingship.”

“Thor.”

“Yes, he is the Allfather now.”

“Then how are we to do this when he’s still alive? We need Thor’s Will in order to access the dark magic in Mjolnir. Yet, in order to get to Thor we need to first access the dark magic in Mjolnir. How is this supposed to work?”

“I said there is no _spell_ for such a thing, no spell on its own could achieve our goal,” Heimdall answered, “but that does not mean it is beyond the capabilities of your magic.”

Loki raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He stared at Heimdall, incredulous but trying to appear nonchalant.

“You think I can bypass the need for an Allfather by amplifying my own Will enough to persuade the Great Allfathers directly? To make them grant our request? Our request which is part of a plan that breaks the laws of Valhalla, the very laws they have put in place?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You think I can convince the Great Allfathers to do as I wish? I, who am not the King of Asgard? I, who was not even born a child of Asgard? You think my Will can influence them?”

“Yes, I do.”

“You truly believe my magic is that powerful?”

“Yes, I do.”

Loki was flattered, but he wasn’t sure he shared Heimdall’s faith. Loki did know how to amplify his Will to some degree, but he could admit to himself that it wasn’t his greatest skill. He could usually influence the Will of beings of lesser or equal power, and he had often used this ability for things like talking his way out of trouble, or winning arguments. 

But Loki hadn’t been able to achieve anything with this power when he faced Odin after trying to take over Midgard. Loki had tried his hardest to amplify his Will during his sentencing, yet he still ended up in the Dungeons, forbidden from seeing his mother. Odin’s Will had been too powerful for him then, and now Loki was expected to influence the Will of the Great Allfathers themselves? It was an absurd idea. Still, Loki hated to be a disappointment.

“I’ll try.”

“Good,” Heimdall smiled.

“I need some time, and quiet.”

Mjolnir silently directed Loki to another room.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked Mjolnir.

“No,” Mjolnir said simply. Loki wanted to lessen Mjolnir’s pain, but he didn’t know how. “Thank you for asking, though,” Mjolnir said, and floated out of the room.

~

It had been three hours. Loki was trying to call forth enough magic to create a reserve supply of his Will to store within his aura. The limit on how much amplification he was able to achieve at any given moment was what had put a cap on his success in the past. He hoped the reserve would be a solution.

But Loki had to admit his heart was not in it. He couldn’t focus properly because he kept thinking about how much his actions would hurt Mjolnir. He thought of what River would be telling him to do, and Loki decided to take a break.

Walking into the living room, Loki discovered that Heimdall was alone. He was scribbling in a book, making more heroic plans, Loki assumed.

“Where’s Mjolnir?” Loki asked.

“Mjolnir wanted to be alone.”

Loki sat on the sofa beside Heimdall.

“Is there no other way we can do this?” Loki inquired.

“You are having difficulty amplifying your Will?” Heimdall asked, “I think it is far too soon to give up.”

“No,” Loki said, “it isn’t that.”

“What then?”

“It’s just,” Loki sighed, “can you not see what this is doing to Mjolnir? Couldn’t there be another source for Bifrost power you haven’t thought of? I could create a new spell maybe, or perhaps there is someone else here who has a remnant of dark magic we can use, or -”

Heimdall put up a hand. “Obtaining a source for Bifrost power is not the only reason we need to do this.”

“Why else then?”

“Mjolnir is not only our way out of Valhalla,” Heimdall explained, “but also the key to undoing the damage Thanos has done. But only if you do this. Only if we activate in Mjolnir the dark magic that Hela left behind. Only if we allow Odin’s old definition of Worthiness to surface. It will be like a thin layer above the truth of Mjolnir, a mask that we can use to fool Thanos, and undo what he has done.”

Loki didn’t say anything.

“And then you can reverse your magic,” Heimdall continued.

“Perhaps I could,” Loki said, “if Mjolnir and I would still be in the same place by the time this is all over.”

Loki was ashamed to realize it was the first time he had truly thought about the fact that Mjolnir would not be resurrected with them. Heimdall had said that only those who died after Ragnarok could be saved, and Mjolnir had died by Hela’s hand. 

“If all goes as planned,” Heimdall said, “we shall rescue Mjolnir as well. And then you can undo your magic.”

Loki was very relieved to hear the plan included saving Mjolnir, but he was still concerned that he might not be able to undo the change. Once the dark magic was called forth, it would unquestionably fight to stay on top. Heimdall must know that. Dark magic is not easy to tame, even for the greatest masters of magic. 

“And if I cannot undo it?” Loki asked.

“If you cannot,” Heimdall said looking pained, “then Mjolnir will learn to integrate the dark into the light. The wound we will have made shall heal. In time, the darkness will be again the inactive scar it is now. You have been down such a path yourself, you know it can be done.”

Loki turned away. He could imagine with perfect clarity how he would feel if he was the one being asked to force his dark side to the surface, regardless of if it were temporary. Heimdall couldn’t possibly understand what it felt like to have such misdeeds in one’s past, to fight every moment to convince yourself that the darkness isn’t who you are. And then to be forced back to what you hate yourself for once being? To have to start all over on the journey to goodness? Loki had no idea Heimdall could be so cruel.

“I have obtained Mjolnir’s consent,” Heimdall said to Loki’s back, “I would never force this on anyone.”

Loki said nothing because that information didn’t make him feel any better about being a part of this. Of course Mjolnir would agree to make a heroic sacrifice. 

“Loki, I am acting as Asgard’s Protector,” Heimdall went on, “and Protector of the Nine Realms. I am doing what no one else is doing, and what needs to be done. Do you think I did not watch and wait for those in the realms of the living to stop Thanos? Do you think I did not try to find a way that did not cause Mjolnir pain? I know that we are all three of us supposed to be done. I know that Valhalla is a place for heroes to rest, and that to leave is forbidden, and against the natural order of our existence. But I also know that this needs to be done and that everyone else has perished or given up. Thor has given up. Loki, I watched him give up.”

“I understand,” Loki told Heimdall, but he didn’t turn back to look at him.

~

Loki retreated to his suite to continue his work on stockpiling his Will. He saw Heimdall leave Mjolnir’s suite a few moments after him, looking dejected. 

“River,” Loki said as he walked through his front door.

“Hello Loki,” River said, “do you want to eat?”

“Yes,” he said, suddenly realizing that he was hungry, “you pick.”

A plate of pasta primavera appeared on the kitchen table. Next to it was a smaller plate of garlic bread, a small bowl of salad, and a glass of wine. Loki smiled. 

“I’ll get you something sweet after. That way the ice cream won’t melt.”

Loki ate in silence for a while. He was fighting the urge to tell River his feelings about the day’s events. But that was the kind of thing real people spoke to each other about, and he knew it was important not to think of River that way. If he cared for someone - or something - incapable of caring back, he would only be setting himself up for pain.

“How’s the pasta?” he heard River ask.

River didn’t tend to initiate casual conversation, so Loki knew it was an attempt to coax him into talking about what was bothering him. Apparently, he wasn’t hiding his unhappiness very well.

“Delicious, thank you,” he replied. Then after a few moments, “can I talk to you about something?”

“Always.”

Loki tried to think where to start. 

“Do you know everyone who’s here?” he asked River.

“I know their names, because all of us suite helpers are connected to a well of base information. But we only get details about the specific person we are assigned to.”

“So, do you know anything about Mjolnir?”

“Yes, Mjolnir, the once hammer of your brother Thor. That’s the extent of my knowledge on that, though. Except I know that Mjolnir is helping you and Heimdall on your project.”

It suddenly occurred to Loki that, since River was essentially an employee of Valhalla, he shouldn’t be revealing a plan that broke the Great Allfathers’ laws.

“Is what I say to you kept in confidence,” he asked.

“You mean will I tell my superiors that you and Heimdall and Mjolnir are trying to find a way to travel out of Valhalla?”

Loki blinked, though when he thought about it, he realized it was unsurprising that River had figured that out.

“I am your assigned helper, and my loyalty is to you.”

It occurred to Loki that perhaps he would be gullible to take River’s words as truth unquestioned. It could be that the Great Allfathers arranged it so that a false sense of loyalty would be created between residents and their suite helpers. Yet Loki felt a deep instinct to trust that River was a true friend. Although he realized it was an emotionally based decision, Loki let himself believe.

“Heimdall wants us to do something,” he began, ignoring the part of him that wanted to be suspicious of River, “and it will make a difficult emotional situation for Mjolnir. It has a very good reason, but…” Loki trailed off.

“What does he want to do?”

“He wants me to call up a remnant of dark magic that Mjolnir possesses because Mjolnir once belonged to Hela.”

“Hela,” River said, sounding surprised, “Ragnarok Hela?”

“Yes, she’s mine and Thor’s sister,” Loki explained, “I guess you don’t get all the details of my past.”

“No, only things I need to know to serve you.”

“Like making excellent pasta primavera?” Loki asked with a small smile.

“Yes,” River said in an amused tone, “just like that.” 

Loki grinned. 

“So,” River went on, “Mjolnir used to belong to Hela, and has dark magic left over from that? And Heimdall wants you to call it to the surface? For some greater good?”

“More or less.”

“I see why that upsets you. You relate to Mjolnir, because of the darkness you yourself fight.”

Loki nodded.

“What should I do?” he asked in an unexpectedly small voice.

“I can’t tell you that,” River said, “but I can tell you that sometimes it seems like there’s no other way, and maybe there isn’t. But even then, countermeasures can sometimes save the day.”

“Countermeasures,” Loki repeated thoughtfully. His empty dinner dishes disappeared and were replaced with his dessert and a cup of tea.

“Thank you, River.”

~

Heimdall’s suite was hard to find, and Loki wanted to catch him unawares. Loki was trying to conserve his magical energy, so rather than perform a stronger location spell he persuaded an easily detected Volstagg to give him directions. The conversation was unpleasant enough that Loki regretted the decision.

“Tell me the rest of your plan,” Loki said as soon as Heimdall opened the door. Heimdall shushed Loki and pulled him inside.

“Tell me the rest of your plan,” Loki repeated, “tell me now. All of it. I am done having the information doled out to me as you see fit. I cannot problem solve if I don’t know what we are doing.”

Heimdall sighed.

“You wish to help Mjolnir.”

“Tell me. How does doing this to Mjolnir help us undo what Thanos has done?”

Heimdall sighed and gestured for Loki to sit down.

“With the activated Infinity Gauntlet, Thanos exterminated half the universe and remains now a cruel dictator over the rest. In his view, he has saved the universe, and his brutal decrees maintain its balance. Thanos thinks his actions noble and right. That is the key to his defeat.”

“He thinks himself Worthy,” Loki said, beginning to understand Mjolnir’s role in this.

“Yes,” Heimdall confirmed, “and we may manipulate him into feeling that he must prove that Worthiness by lifting Mjolnir.”

“And he shall be able to,” Loki continued, “once I have reactivated in Mjolnir Odin’s old definition of Worthiness - the kind of Worthiness that fit Hela, Worthiness defined by villainy and the taking of lives, by conquering.”

Heimdall nodded.

“And after he picks Mjolnir up?”

Heimdall didn’t say anything.

“I said I wanted to hear the whole plan. You ask for my help and then you refuse to give me all the information?”

“I do not wish to,” Heimdall paused, “to cause you to see our quest as impossible because it requires so many steps. If we approach one at a time -”

Loki stood up and turned to storm out. He could feel his anger too close to the surface and once rage had a grip on him he never knew what he might say, or do.

“Loki,” Heimdall called after him, but Loki’s only response was to slam the door on his way out.

~

Loki awoke from the nightmare seeing Thor’s face. More began to come back to him as he sat up and wrapped his arms around himself. An extra blanket immediately appeared around his shoulders and he held it tightly to his body as he recalled his terrible dream:

_“How could you do this to her, brother?” Thor yelled. He was crying, and in his arms were the shattered remains of Mjolnir. They were standing in the field in Norway where Mjolnir had been destroyed, and it was storming thunder and lightning all around them. The sky was dim even though Loki knew it was meant to be day._

_“I was helping,” Loki replied. But his voice seemed to be coming from Mjolnir._

_“You were destroying. Like you always do. You are just like him. Just like Thanos. A monster.”_

_“No, not anymore, brother, I have changed.”_

_Thor’s laughter echoed in the small space they were suddenly enclosed in. The space was spinning slowly. Loki looked around and observed it was a glowing blue cube. He realized that they were inside the Tesseract. He looked around for the Space Stone, thinking he could still save the day. But then the cube grew dark. Thor’s laughter finally stopped, and everything was still. Thor’s face alone was lit amidst the black. Tears streamed down from his one eye, and for the briefest of instances, he was Odin._

_“Brother,” Thor said, and Loki thought perhaps Thor was going to absolve him after all. The hope made the cube grow more spacious. There was a flash of white light. But then Loki’s heart sank as Thor spoke his next words -_

_“I will never forgive you for this.”_

_All at once Loki could see himself morphing into Thanos, shattering the cube that surrounded them and towering over Thor. Loki tried to stop himself from changing, but he couldn’t control his body. He tried to say he was sorry, but he had no voice. He raised his enormous fist to crush Thor. He tried to stop his movements, but he couldn’t. Thor was trying to fight him, but he had no hammer. Loki’s fist was lowering in slow motion. Loki thought perhaps Thor would have time to run away, but then an aggressive coating of ice came from the ground and froze Thor where he stood -_

As Loki sat up in his bed, awake and shaking, it was Thor’s final words that echoed in his mind: _I will never forgive you for this. Never. I will never forgive you. Never forgive you for this. I will never forgive you…_

Loki knew he needed rest in order to continue to accumulate his Will. Yet no matter how many cups of tea River made him, or how many books he tried reading from, Loki could not get back to sleep.

~

“Sorry to come by at this hour,” Loki said after Mjolnir invited him in.

“I do not sleep, Loki,” Mjolnir replied.

Loki had actually been wondering about that.

“I’m glad I did not disturb you then. I had an idea I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Would you like something to drink?” Mjolnir offered, “I do not eat or drink, but I enjoy having guests to serve.”

“No, thank you,” Loki said, but he did sit down at the kitchen table. “Did Heimdall tell you that,” he paused and took a deep breath, “when this is all done, my magic may not be able to return you to the way you are now? Once the dark magic is allowed to rise to the surface…” he trailed off, a wave of guilt washing over him.

“It fights to stay there, I know,” said Mjolnir, “but I have faith in you.”

Loki gave Mjolnir a questioning look. 

“Then I think I’ve oversold myself.”

“Well,” Mjolnir replied, “if you cannot undo it, then I will fight my way back to good the way you have done, and I will have Thor to support me, as you did on your journey,” Mjolnir paused, then added, “we will both have his support again.”

Loki had been trying not to think too much about a reunion with Thor. He didn’t want to let himself hope to see his brother, imagining how painful it would be to have that hope destroyed if the plan failed. And it was extremely difficult for Loki to find faith in a plan he only knew part of. 

“I have come to see you because I’ve had an idea,” Loki said, steering the conversation away from Thor, “a sort of back up for if we can’t reverse it. A countermeasure.”

Loki opened his hand and a small metal orb appeared. It was painted blue, but the paint was scratched and faded, revealing the tarnished silver color beneath. There was a protruding band around the middle with a tiny keypad at its center.

“I conjured this from the remains of the Statesman when I was getting Hofund’s essence.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a device from the planet Sakaar, called a Containment Orb. The Grandmaster, who was the ruler there, used them as safes to protect valued items, but also sometimes as prisons. To put it simply, the device can draw out the essence – or existence code, as they call it on Sakaar - of something, or someone, and trap it inside.”

Mjolnir backed away a little.

“And why exactly did you conjure that?”

Loki paused, and wondered if he should lie and say he had conjured it in order to help Mjolnir. In actuality, Loki had thought to use it to help Mjolnir after the fact. It was simply one of those treasures that Loki’s instinct told him to take, because it may be of use to him later. With a sinking feeling he was reminded that was the same instinct that led him to take the Tesseract from the Vault during Ragnarok. The same instinct that caused all of this.

“I saw it and I thought it might be of use to me,” Loki admitted, “I had created a passage already in order to conjure Hofund’s essence, and so I took a few things for myself as well.”

Loki couldn’t tell whether or not he was being judged because Mjolnir had no face to read.

“Then it occurred to me,” Loki went on, “that this device could be used to store your essence – not all of it, not nearly enough to imprison you. We would just extract a sample, a small enough amount of your essence that it will not harm you to part with it. Then we would have a portion of the way you are now - of your goodness, your true Worthiness - set safely aside for later, in case I cannot put you back with my spell.”

“And would this small sample be enough to return me to who I am?”

Loki shook his head sadly.

“No,” he said, “it would be more like a seed. A seed of good to make your journey back easier. If my spell to return you to your current state fails, we would still have the essence we preserved in this,” he held up the Orb, “and it would help guide you, prevent you from losing yourself - but it would still take work, and time, to make the seed of lightness grow amidst the dark.”

Mjolnir moved closer in again.

“That is wonderful,” Mjolnir said, and Loki was relieved. “So, tell me, how do I store some of myself in there? How does it work?”

“Well, the Grandmaster kept them locked, and this one must have been collecting dust on the Statesman for some time. It looks to be an older design than the ones I saw when I was on Sakaar, and none of the codes I know will open it.”

“Is,” Mjolnir said nervously, “could there be someone trapped in there?”

“No,” Loki reassured, “I already checked for that, with a spell, and I have another to open it, and a third to put the sample of your essence inside.”

“Should we ask Heimdall before we do it?” Mjolnir inquired.

Loki scoffed. There was a reason he had surreptitiously warded Mjolnir’s kitchen for privacy. Loki tried his best to shroud the part of his mind that was now thinking of Heimdall. He knew those thoughts could potentially allow Heimdall’s powers of sight to break through the warding, but Loki was fairly skilled at using his magic to build walls inside his mind. Still, Loki could admit to himself that it was a toss-up whose power was stronger. He made a mental note to find a spell for veiling thoughts as soon as he could.

“Heimdall keeps information from us, and we shall do the same.”

“Very well then,” Mjolnir agreed after a pause, “I am ready.”


	3. He’s A Lunatic, But He Can Be Amenable

“Sweetpea,” exclaimed the Grandmaster, “aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

Loki gawked at the Grandmaster as his body re-formed itself after being released from the Orb.

“But,” Loki said in shock, “I checked, it was empty.”

The Grandmaster laughed.

“Oh, Sweetpea, you know how sneaky I can be,” he said playfully, “don’t you, hmm?”

Loki didn’t say anything. It was true that, during the weeks he had spent on Sakaar, Loki had been unable to gain an understanding of the Grandmaster’s many powers. 

“And speaking of sneaky,” the Grandmaster said, stepping too close to Loki, “I think _someone_ stole my ship, along with my gladiators,” his tone turned somber and threatening, “and well, Loki, now,” he raised his voice and it seemed to echo in the room, “well now I am the ruler of _nothing_ , reduced to hiding from rebels in an outdated Containment Orb.” 

When and how had his Orb gotten onto the Statesman, Loki wondered. But he didn’t ask. He pulled himself together and smiled demurely. He had charmed the Grandmaster once and he was confident he could do it again.

“Grandmaster,” Loki began, “how wonderful it is to see you again.” 

“Oh?”

“Yes, of course,” Loki said, “whatever can I do to earn your forgiveness for my misdeeds? I never meant to betray you, I only wanted to help my people.”

The Grandmaster appeared to be considering this.

“I really wished I could have stayed with you,” Loki told him, and he laid a hand gently on the Grandmaster’s upper arm, “I’ve missed you.”

The Grandmaster grinned.

“Say that again,” he crooned.

“I’ve missed you,” Loki repeated with a sweet smile. It was too easy. “I am just elated to see you again. I thought you dead.”

The Grandmaster looked around the room for the first time.

“Where are we? Is the Revolution over? The rebels caught me a couple of times, but I got away, oh yes, oh yes, I’m a survivor.”

“Well, Grandmaster,” Loki began, trying to decide how much information he should reveal.

“Uh,” the Grandmaster said, “is that a floating hammer?” He pointed at Mjolnir. “Hello there, hammer!” the Grandmaster exclaimed, grinning and waving with wiggling fingers.

“Hello,” Mjolnir answered, as usual using the room’s voice to communicate. The Grandmaster startled and looked around.

“The room is speaking on Mjolnir’s behalf,” Loki explained, “but, more importantly, Grandmaster, I have something urgent to tell you, my dear friend.” Now that Loki had gotten over the shock and, admittedly, fear at this unexpected reunion with the Grandmaster, he began to realize what an asset the Grandmaster could be in their fight against Thanos. 

The Grandmaster swept up the hem of his shimmering gold robe and plopped himself down on the nearest chair.

“Tell me,” he said to Loki.

“Do you know the name Thanos?”

The Grandmaster rolled his eyes.

“Ugg, I hate that guy. Such a downer, and always trying to prove how powerful he is. Hmm. I guess that part’s kind of cute actually.” He put a finger to his lips as he contemplated this.

“You know him?” asked Loki.

“I’ve seen him around. Had myself a nifty snooping machine back on Sakaar. It could spy on pretty much, uh, any place. The Looker, I called it, my own invention of course. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, so great. Sweetpea, you know how much I love to watch,” he said the last part in a theatrical whisper and made a face of comically feigned shame before he continued, “that one, he likes to fly all around in his big ugly ship making like he’s sooooo important. Boring.” He yawned dramatically, then added in a suddenly serious tone, “wait, why? Did he hurt you?”

Loki nodded.

“And many others.”

“Tell me what he did to you,” the Grandmaster said protectively, his expression darkening.

“Thanos has killed half the universe and rules as a dictator over the other half. I haven’t seen it myself, but I am told the universe needs saving.”

“Why haven’t you seen it yourself?”

Loki sighed.

“Because Thanos killed me before he got to the rest of the universe. I’m dead, this is Valhalla.”

“What? Dead? Val-who-ah? Am I dead too?”

“Valhalla, and no you’re not dead. I accidently conjured you here.”

“Wow,” the Grandmaster said, “well, uh, I’m sorry you died,” he said softly. Then his tone turned menacing as he continued, “and I will make that grape flavor scrotum face pay for what he did to you, oh you better believe I will.”

Loki snickered at the description.

“And for what he did, and is doing, to the rest of the universe as well,” Mjolnir suggested.

“Right, yeah,” the Grandmaster replied as he gazed at Loki.

~ 

“Who is this?” Heimdall asked Loki the next morning when they all convened in Mjolnir’s drawing room.

The Grandmaster grinned at Heimdall’s questioning face.

“This is -” Loki began, but Heimdall interrupted him, recollection evident on his face.

“The Grandmaster? From Sakaar?”

“Yes, yes, yes, that’s me!” the Grandmaster said delightedly, “so I’m famous in Vool-ah-hoy, huh? Love it!” He clapped with jubilant satisfaction.

 _“Valhalla,”_ Heimdall corrected him at once, “and you are _not_ famous here, I have powers of long distance perception. My attention was drawn to you when Thor called for my help,” Heimdall explained in a bitter tone that Loki had rarely heard him use, “when he was trying to escape from your imprisonment,” Heimdall added pointedly.

“Aw, come on now,” the Grandmaster replied, “he wasn’t _imprisoned_ , he was just being held so he wouldn’t miss out on the great honor of fighting my Champion. Do you even know, do you even _know_ what a big deal that is? It’s, uh, it’s a big one!” he stretched out his open arms to indicate just how big a deal it was. “That Lord of Thunder was just so ungrateful,” the Grandmaster added as he shook his head disapprovingly and made a tsk-tsk sound.

“Why is he here?” Heimdall demanded of Loki.

“Wow, rude,” the Grandmaster said.

“Well,” Loki began, trying to think how to get the least judgmental reaction from Heimdall, “when I conjured Hofund’s essence from the portion of space where the Statesman was attacked, I,” he paused, “picked up a few other items I thought could be of use down the road.” Loki looked down for an instant, then added, “of use to our plan, of course,” which Loki felt was only vaguely a lie.

Heimdall gave him a look of intense disappointment, which was far worse than the judgmental one Loki had been expecting.

“Well,” Loki added pointedly, “since I don’t _know_ what the rest of the plan is, who’s to say what we need.”

Heimdall sighed.

“So this,” Heimdall gestured to the Grandmaster, then paused as though repressing the urge to be directly insulting, “this _being_ was hidden within one of the objects you conjured?”

“Hey, hello,” the Grandmaster said, pointing to his ears, “I can hear you talking about me, you know. Hi, hi, hello,” He waved aggressively at Heimdall, who ignored him.

“Yes,” Loki admitted, “but I did use what I thought to be an infallible spell to check if the Orb was empty before I opened it.”

“And yet it was not empty.”

“Apparently not,” Loki replied. 

“Oh, I have lots, just lots and lots of good tricks,” the Grandmaster interjected triumphantly, “I am very good at hiding, I am very good at just oh-so-many things - tell him, Sweetpea.”

Heimdall sighed again, then bent his head and put a hand to his brow. 

“Why did you open it?” Heimdall asked sternly. He raised his head and stared at Loki in that eerie way of his, the way that made Loki feel unnaturally visible. 

“This is a good thing, Heimdall,” Loki told him, completely evading the question, “the Grandmaster is very powerful, far more powerful than any of us, and he can help us defeat Thanos.”

“And he wishes to help us?” Heimdall asked with skepticism.

They all looked to the Grandmaster.

“Oh, I am so ready to stomp that overripe grape of a head.”

Loki smirked. Heimdall looked to be pondering this.

“And why exactly?” Heimdall asked the Grandmaster.

“He hurt my lil’ Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster explained, “plus,” he added with a shrug, “I’m kinda’ bored without a planet to rule. I figure, may as well take up a quest, you know, sounds like a good time.”

Heimdall didn’t say anything. He looked to Mjolnir, who also remained silent.

“Heimdall,” Loki said, “I’ve attempted to kill Thor in the past too, and you have still shown me forgiveness, and kindness. You still believed in me, that I could be good. Shouldn’t the Grandmaster be given the chance to change as well?”

“I didn’t try to kill him,” the Grandmaster protested, “if he had died in the ring, that would have been a fair -”

Loki motioned for the Grandmaster to shush and he complied.

“You are right, Loki,” Heimdall said eventually, “everyone deserves the chance to redeem, and even poor motivations can lead one down the right path.”

“Great!” said the Grandmaster with exuberance, “let’s go squash that big fat grape into a vat of gross terrible wine!”

Heimdall gave the Grandmaster a withering look, but Loki appreciated his enthusiasm.

~

Loki was working on a new approach to creating a large enough reserve of his Will. Recent events had prompted him to more thoroughly examine the other items he had conjured from the wreckage of the Statesman. He was experimenting with their abilities to see if any may be able to amplify, or store, his Will.

But then there was a knock at his door. It disturbed his focus and Loki was annoyed. 

“Heimdall,” Loki said as he stepped aside for Heimdall to enter, “I thought we were meeting at Mjolnir’s in three hours. I need some time to -”

“Show me everything you took,” Heimdall demanded.

Loki crossed his arms defensively. He stepped in front of the open door to his study, in which a number of the items were spread out on his desk.

“Can you not see the risk you have taken? Conjuring items with who knows what powers? With who knows whom hidden inside them? Bringing these unknown dangers into Valhalla? Putting everyone here in jeopardy? And why? To have treasures stored away for future schemes? I thought you knew better by now.”

Loki scowled.

“Show me everything you conjured, Loki,” Heimdall said again.

“Tell me the rest of your plan first.”

“If I tell you, you might be discouraged and,” Heimdall replied, “I do not wish for you to give up. I need you for this.”

“Well if you need me,” Loki said curtly, “then I suppose you better tell me the rest of your plan.”

“And then you shall show me everything you have conjured? All of it?”

“Yes.”

“And then,” Heimdall added in a low voice, “you shall tell me exactly why you opened that Orb that held the Grandmaster?”

Loki hesitated, then nodded. After a few moments, Heimdall nodded back. They sat down in the drawing room. 

“I told you already that we must get Thanos to lift Mjolnir, and that he shall be able to once you have summoned Mjolnir’s dark magic to the surface, because you will have caused Odin’s old definition of Worthiness to layer over the new.”

“Yes,” Loki said, “and what happens once Thanos picks up Mjolnir? How will that help us?”

“It will allow us access to the Mind Stone,” Heimdall said. Loki’s body stiffened as he remembered using the Mind Stone during his attempt to rule Midgard. He thought of each person he had used the Scepter on and imagined what it was like for them - to be invaded and taken over, to have their minds conquered and their will snatched away.

Loki realized that Heimdall was staring at him intently, searching his face with concern.

“So, you didn’t want me to know this involved the Mind Stone?” Loki asked, his tone accusatory and distant, “you thought I’d back out?” Loki paused, “no, that’s not it, is it? No, you thought I would try and take it for myself. Loki scoffed, “Heimdall, I was having a wonderful time in paradise until you came and told me to be a hero. And now, what? You never believed in me at all? You think I only care about ‘storing away treasures for future schemes’?”

“Loki, you do not understand. I -”

“And why would I even want to take the Mind Stone for myself? I already made it to Valhalla, my every wish is granted here - why would I scheme further?”

“Because you are the God of Mischief, Loki,” Heimdall said gently, “and the power of that sometimes draws you to,” he paused, “to make questionable decisions.”

“All that is in the past,” Loki yelled.

Heimdall looked meaningfully across the hallway toward the study. Loki hadn’t gotten a chance to close the door all the way and his desktop full of treasures was just barely visible. Loki followed Heimdall’s gaze and took his point. It was true that Loki had certain instincts that did not always work out for him. It was true that to resist those instincts was a strain, and that to give into them was a relief. It made Loki angry that Heimdall’s concern was valid.

“You are unbelievable,” Loki bellowed, “you come with warm sentiments and feigned confidence in me, you convince me to help you, you withhold information, and then you insult me. Well I am done, Heimdall, get out, save the universe yourself, I am done.” 

“Yikes,” the Grandmaster said as he stepped into the drawing room, “looks like I interrupted something.” He sat down beside Loki anyway.

“Yes,” Heimdall said, “if you would please excuse us.”

“No,” Loki snapped, “we are done talking.” He rushed to the front door and opened it. “Please leave, Heimdall.”

Heimdall sighed sadly as he obeyed. Loki slammed the door behind him, then leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He was crushed and infuriated and he felt himself losing control. His eyes darted open and he reached for whatever was near him and smashed it.

“Hey,” the Grandmaster said. He was suddenly standing beside Loki, a hand on his shoulder, “you want me to melt him for you?”

That did make Loki smile, although he realized the Grandmaster likely meant it as a serious offer.

“Only you do not have your Melt Stick, Grandmaster.”

The Grandmaster winked.

“No, of course I don’t. I mean, there’s no way I could have hidden it in a second Containment Orb or anything… nope, nope, nope.”

Loki imagined Thanos being melted and it made him smile more widely. Except he had only found the one Containment Orb at the site.

“I did not find it though,” Loki told him, “I’m sorry but I only saw the one Orb when I was scavenging.”

“Yes, yes, just the one,” the Grandmaster replied as he slid a hand behind the folds of his robe, “did they have nesting dolls on Ass-hard?”

“Asgard,” Loki corrected him, “and yes.” He smiled as the Grandmaster revealed the second Containment Orb that had been concealed in his pocket.

“Lets you and me make a big ol’ pile of grape jelly all on our own. Who needs that Heimdall guy, or that floating hammer, or anyone else. Just you, me, and my Melt Stick makes three.”

Loki looked at the second Orb in the Grandmaster’s hand.

“So,” the Grandmaster asked, “how ‘bout it, cutie?”

~

Loki had sent the Grandmaster to play keyboard in the soundproofed guest bedroom River materialized. He needed to think, and the Grandmaster was a constant distraction. 

“River,” Loki asked.

“Yes, Loki?”

“May I speak to you about something?”

“Of course, what is it?”

“It would seem that it makes no sense for the Grandmaster and I to split our efforts away from the others, when we are all working toward the same goal.”

“It does seem like working together would give you the best chance.”

“Yes, exactly. And I do so wish to help Mjolnir. I know how painful and difficult it is to confront that sort of darkness. I want to do what I can to make it easier for Mjolnir to return to goodness when this is over. I feel as though it would be cruel to abandon that task, particularly after I told Mjolnir I would help.”

“Yet the Grandmaster’s offer appeals to you?”

“Yes.”

“Because of your fight with Heimdall?”

“Yes,” Loki said angrily, “he cannot understand how it feels, having been a -” he tried to stop himself from saying monster but he couldn’t, “monster like I was,” he was glad at least to be able to use the past tense, “loathing yourself for what you did, looking back on it with such sharp regret, unable to tear your mind’s eye from the images of your sins, fighting each moment not to believe that the monster is your true self. Feeling that you deserved any and all suffering you have endured. Feeling, deep down, that you still deserve to suffer, that you _always_ deserve to suffer. And then - and then he comes to me, saying he believes in my goodness, making me want to see myself that way,” he paused, then added in a strained tone, “as a hero.”

“And now,” Loki continued, “now I find out he thinks no better of me than The Warriors Three do,” the rage in his voice melted to sorrow, and he stared at his hands.

“Loki,” River replied gently, “perhaps you should talk to Heimdall about those feelings, once both of you are calm.”

“He doesn’t care about my feelings.”

“Doesn’t he?”

“Alright,” Loki said after a few moments of consideration, “I shall talk to him. Not tonight though.”

“That sounds like a wise plan,” River replied, “rest and relax first. How about some tea?”

“Yes, that sounds nice and soothing,” Loki replied, “thank you.”

“Tea?” the Grandmaster asked with interest. Loki had closed the sitting room door on purpose, but apparently the Grandmaster had opened it instead of knocking. “Is there coffee though? I like coffee. With sugar, a lot of sugar. And cake, make me some cake, River,” the Grandmaster commanded, then turned to Loki and added, “tell it to make me cake.”

Loki struggled to hide his annoyance. 

“Of course, Grandmaster,” he said silkily, “River, if you please.”

The Grandmaster clapped gleefully as the food and drink appeared before them.

“Grandmaster,” Loki said after a moment. He tried to choose his words carefully. “I do so appreciate your enthusiasm in the fight against Thanos, and I am certainly grateful – and impressed – that you were able to keep your Melt Stick with you…”

“But?”

“But we cannot do this with just the two of us. We need to work together with Heimdall and Mjolnir.”

“Why?”

“For one, we need the essence of Hofund – a special sword – in order to get out of Valhalla, and Heimdall has it.”

“I’ll _make_ him give it to us,” the Grandmaster replied in a suddenly terrifying voice. 

“Grandmaster, Heimdall and I are already dead, and he is very set on his goal. Threats will not deter him.”

The Grandmaster leaned his head all the way back and groaned in exasperation.

“But I don’t _want_ to work with them. The Heimdall guy is so serious and Mool-wire doesn’t even seem to like me,” he said, appalled, “Loki, I thought this was going to be fun,” he whined.

“You don’t have to help us if you do not wish to,” Loki said, “but you are very powerful, even without the Melt Stick, and I would very much appreciate your help in this, Grandmaster.”

He gave the Grandmaster his most endearing smile, and it looked like it was working at first, but then the Grandmaster’s face fell. He stood up and knocked all the dishes to the floor with an aggressively dramatic sweep of his arm. The contents of the table dirtied the carpet and both of the teacups shattered, but River cleaned it all up immediately. 

“Guess you made your choice then,” the Grandmaster said coldly. Loki sighed and watched the Grandmaster storm out of the room.

~

Early the next morning, Loki made his way to Mjolnir’s suite. 

“Loki,” Mjolnir said, sounding surprised, “Heimdall told me you no longer wished to work with us.”

“Yes, I did say that,” Loki replied as he moved to the warded kitchen and sat down, “Heimdall and I had a fight. But I’ve rethought things.”

“I am very glad to hear it. Shall we call him?”

“No,” Loki replied, “I wish to speak to you alone.”

“What is it?” Mjolnir asked, sounding concerned.

“The Orb, that once held the Grandmaster, Heimdall does not know that I performed the spell to put a sample of your essence into it once it was vacated.”

“Why should we hide that from him?”

“Because trading information seems to be the only way to get straight answers out of him. Heimdall wants to know why I opened the Orb in the first place. So that information has value.”

Mjolnir didn’t reply at first.

“I am not certain we should be scheming this way. Couldn’t we all just have an honest discussion together and mutually share information?”

“ _I_ am not the one who refuses that option,” Loki said angrily, “I have repeatedly asked Heimdall to reveal his plan in full, and he only gives me scraps. It’s his own fault we must keep this secret.”

“Very well,” Mjolnir said softly.

“Have you felt any negative effects from the spell?” Loki asked.

“I don’t think so. I am scared, about this whole quest. But that is not a result of the spell, I suspect.”

“I’m scared too,” Loki admitted. As much as he longed to defeat Thanos, to take his life as Thanos had taken his, the thought of facing him filled Loki with deep terror and anxiety. It was too hard not to remember all the things Thanos had done to him, both before and during the attack on the Statesman. It was impossible not to hear Thanos’ voice lecturing endlessly, to see his enormous face leaning too close as he cut Loki’s body open until he got his way. And it was just as impossible not to feel Thanos’ hand around his neck, to recall with painful clarity the moment that Thanos crushed his throat so easily that Loki may as well have been a paper doll.

“You are?” Mjolnir replied with surprise.

“Yes,” Loki smirked, “why, do I seem very brave?”

“I have always thought so.”

Loki hadn’t meant it as a serious question and didn’t know what to do with Mjolnir’s earnest answer. He said nothing and looked at his hands, letting his hair fall like a curtain over his face.

There was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” Mjolnir asked.

“Heimdall.”

“I thought you warded the kitchen?” Mjolnir asked Loki in a whisper.

“I did,” Loki replied. “but his powers of sight can sometimes break through warding when someone is thinking about him. I did a spell to veil both our thoughts of him, though, so he should not have been able to hear or see us in this room.”

“Come in, Heimdall,” Mjolnir said at normal volume. The door opened and Heimdall stepped inside.

“Do you know what I have just seen?” Heimdall asked tersely.

“Hello to you too, Heimdall,” Loki replied sullenly.

“What have you seen?” Mjolnir asked, sounding nervous.

“I have seen _your_ friend,” he pointed at Loki accusatorily, “running amok all over Valhalla, merrily introducing himself and telling people he shall soon be their ruler.”

Loki snickered but Heimdall was not amused.

“This is no laughing matter, Loki,” Heimdall lectured, “we could be found out.”

“Hey,” Loki replied, “I locked him in my suite with a spell, just like I said I would.”

“And yet, here we are.”

Loki shrugged.

“His abilities, his powers, they are not like any other I have known. I suppose my spell couldn’t hold him.”

“Oh, you suppose?” Heimdall said harshly, “you see what happens when we make rash decisions? You must bring him here and put him back into his orb immediately.”

Loki looked to Mjolnir, and there was a long heavy silence.

“What is it?” Heimdall finally asked.

“The Orb is not vacant,” Loki said simply.

“Not vacant?” Heimdall exclaimed.

“Heimdall, Loki was only trying to help me,” Mjolnir explained, “we put a sample of my current state of Worthiness inside, so that after everything, if Loki can’t resettle the dark magic, at least - at least I will have a flicker of light to guide me.”

Heimdall didn’t react at first. His face was unreadable, as Loki so often found it to be. Then Heimdall sighed.

“That was a noble action,” he told Loki, “but I do not understand why you would not include me in this.”

“Because you would have criticized me for conjuring the Orb from the site. Obviously. And why should I have to tell you everything anyhow? You still haven’t told us your full plan. So I do not see why we should be obligated to disclose everything we do to you.”

“Loki,” Heimdall replied in an unnaturally calm tone, “the fate of the universe is in our hands and you are behaving like a spiteful child.”

Mjolnir backed away, floating to the other side of the room.

“Oh, I see,” Loki said bitterly, “now I am a spiteful child, am I? Heimdall,” the anger in Loki’s voice melted to hopelessness, “you said I was a hero. But you never believed me to be one. This partnership was built upon your lie. I see now it was always doomed.” 

“It was not a lie,” Heimdall said firmly, “heroes can still make mistakes.”

Loki gave a cold, disdainful laugh. The sound was deeply sad, even to his own ears.

“And what would you know about mistakes?” Loki spat, “you, the all trusted Gatekeeper, he who can see and hear all, who could take any number of self-serving actions with those powers, yet chooses to use them only for good? You, the great Protector, so willing to sacrifice for Asgard, so devoted to fighting for love and light and harmony in all the Nine Realms, so ridiculously selfless, even in death. Heimdall, you are the pinnacle of smothering sentiment, of sickeningly pure morality.” 

Heimdall stared silently at Loki for a long moment. His eyes weren’t unreadable this time – Loki could see his anger and pain as clear as glass. He was taken aback by something else he recognized in Heimdall’s eyes, something very familiar. Loki knew it from seeing his own reflection every day: it was guilt.

“You think I do not understand regret,” Heimdall said with a quiet stillness, “Loki, do you know how old I am?”

Loki knew that Heimdall had been Gatekeeper since before he and Thor were born. He remembered being a small child and finding Heimdall very intimidating, even though Heimdall was always kind to him. Loki also remembered Odin mentioning Heimdall in stories that took place long ago. So, Loki knew that Heimdall must be old, but he didn’t really know how old.

“No,” he replied shortly, failing to see how this could be relevant.

“Before Odin changed his view,” Heimdall spoke slowly, “in the days when he sought to conquer, to rule over other realms at all costs,” he paused, “who do you think was Gatekeeper then?”

A heavy, sinking feeling overtook Loki as he realized that he had never considered this before.

“I was sworn to serve the throne,” Heimdall said, his voice sounding broken and far away, “and I did what my King asked of me, without question. I told myself I had no choice.”

“Heimdall,” Loki began, unsure what he wanted to say.

“Those were dark times,” Heimdall went on, “as Gatekeeper, I played a role in the occurrence of those horrors - opening the doors for Odin and Hela’s brutal armies to massacre realm after realm. I defined my worth by my obedience to the throne - I told myself that if I kept my promise to serve my King, I was doing as I should - and so I did not try to stop what was happening. I will carry that weight always.”

Loki nodded. Heimdall did understand after all. He had made his way through darkness too, and he was among the first people that came to mind when Loki heard the word ‘hero.’ 

“So, you see,” Heimdall asked, his voice sounding desperate, “do you understand, Loki?”

Loki nodded slowly.

“Yes,” he replied softly, “I see.”

~

Heimdall gave up his information first, with Loki’s promise to respond in kind. The instinct to double-cross Heimdall passed through Loki’s mind, and he was immediately ashamed. He pushed against the call of deviousness and gave up his secrets as he had vowed he would. Loki found it regrettable that he no longer had anything to bargain with, yet there was a sense of relief in having the information shared amongst them. He was truly part of a team now.

“And I have one more thing,” Loki added with a smile. He lifted his hand and conjured from his suite the last of the objects he had scavenged. It appeared as a flat, smooth rock, grey with a hint of green, and shaped like an uneven rectangle. Loki used both hands to display it.

“A Reflection Tablet,” Heimdall said, looking at it in awe.

“From Skoa River,” added Mjolnir.

“I did not know that any survived Ragnarok,” Heimdall stated.

“Someone must have had one with them when we evacuated Asgard,” Loki explained, “and I’ve found a perfect use for it.” He set the Reflection Tablet down on the table.

“First I will show you my default Will,” he said. Will was an invisible thing, but for the sake of the demonstration, Loki highlighted it with his energy. A green mist formed around his head, swirling and swelling in some spots, but faint in others.

“And now,” he said as the green mist thickened, “I will show you what it looks like when I amplify my Will to the best of my own abilities.” Soon the top half of his body was almost invisible through the thick green of his highlighted Will. The edges of the mass of color came to sharp points that jutted threateningly in all directions. After a moment Loki pulled back and let it dissipate.

“And now,” Loki told them, “with the aid of the Reflection Tablet.” He picked up the Tablet and levitated it upright just above his hands. Loki focused his power and clones of the Reflection Tablet appeared in a circle around his head. He let his hands fall to his sides and the real Tablet floated up to complete the circle. In unison, the Tablets angled themselves just so.

Loki released his Will in concentrated bursts that streamed out from the crown of his head toward each Tablet. When each line of energy made contact with its Tablet, an explosion of green stretched out like silent fireworks. The first set of explosions came all at once, and the entire room was overtaken with ripples of heavy green smoke. The lines of green continuously bounced back and forth between Loki’s head and the Tablets, and each time there was another burst. When the bursts overlapped with one another the energy became thick like paint, and it spread slowly over everything, opaque and oozing.

Loki felt dizzy and he stopped, detaching himself suddenly from the Tablet and setting it down. He must have stumbled because Heimdall had reached an arm out to steady him.

“I’m fine,” Loki said, before anyone had a chance to ask. Heimdall guided him to a chair and a glass of water materialized beside him, presumably at Mjolnir’s command. Loki tried not to show how touched he was by their concern.

“That was very impressive,” Mjolnir complimented him.

“It was,” Heimdall agreed, “but will it be enough to persuade the Great Allfathers?”

“I do not know,” Loki admitted, “but I think it gives us a chance.”


	4. Your Ledger Is Dripping, It’s Gushing Red

As soon as he stepped into his suite, Loki realized just how exhausted he was. Though he had originally objected, Loki was now relieved that he had agreed to take a full day to rest. The spell to contact the Great Allfathers would be draining, but more daunting than that was the potentially impossible task of using his Will to control them. Loki was already worn out, and the actual act of persuading the Great Allfathers would require much more strength than the demonstration Loki had performed today. 

“Are you too tired to eat before you lay down?” River asked.

Loki noticed that River had not actually asked if he _wanted_ either of those things. But he did want them. He made his way to the bed and collapsed.

“Eat in a little bit,” he murmured. And soon he felt his eyelids fall. And there was peace. Until the nightmare began:

_“You think this makes you good?” Thor asked him. Thor’s voice was that of his adult self, but he appeared as a child. Loki sat down on the floor beside his brother and realized that they were both children._

_“I was helping,” the young Loki said, his voice timid. He looked at his hands and they grew in size, inflating until they were each as big as his head._

_“You are incapable of helping,” Thor told him, and Loki’s giant hands turned to ice. Loki tried to move them, but they were too heavy._

_“You are incapable of goodness,” Thor said. His adult voice echoed around them as Loki looked into Thor’s bright childhood eyes._

_“I just want to be a hero, brother,” Loki said pleadingly, “like you.” He reached out his arms. He wanted Thor to hug him and tell him it was alright._

_“You are not doing this to be a hero,” Thor went on, though now he spoke with Heimdall’s voice, “you seek only to avenge your own suffering, and to save your own worthless life.”_

_“No,” Loki tried to say, but his mouth was ice now too._

_Thor stood up, and for an instant, he was his adult self again. But then he morphed into Thanos._

_“You think you are better than me?” Thanos said to him in an eerily even tone, “You think you are not a monster?”_

_Suddenly a chorus of laughter echoed around them. Loki couldn’t pick out one voice from another, but he knew in his heart they were the voices of everyone he had killed. Then he could see them, dark shapes in a pale space, and they closed in around him until everything was black. He couldn’t see to defend himself and suddenly he felt Thanos’ hand around his throat, tightening, tightening -_

Loki woke up gasping. He felt for Thanos’ hand on him before he realized he had been dreaming. Even after Loki realized it, his breath was desperate and ragged, and his chest felt too tight to hold the air he needed. It took what felt like eternity before he could begin to breathe normally again, and it was only then that Loki noticed how hard he was crying.

~

“Ta-da! Look, I made you breakfast,” the Grandmaster exclaimed with delight as Loki walked into the kitchen.

“You made it?” Loki asked suspiciously.

“Well I told River what to make.”

Loki smiled and sat down.

“Well thank you both then.”

“Sweetpea, I heard you crying last night.”

Loki stared at his plate.

“I heard something about you as well,” Loki replied, changing the topic. “Heimdall said he saw you out of the suite yesterday, talking to others here.”

“Oh that,” the Grandmaster waved his hand flippantly, “I just got a little cabin fever, you know, needed some, uh, good old fresh air and I’m, well I’m just the kind of guy people want to talk to,” he shrugged, grinning intensely, “what can I say.”

“But I thought we agreed you’d stay in the suite.”

“Not agreed, not agreed, no,” the Grandmaster shook his head, “you said it, but I never agreed.” His grin melted. “And then you tried to lock me in.” His voice was equal parts enraged and wounded.

“Forgive me, Grandmaster,” Loki said diplomatically, “but it is important that our plans not be discovered by those in charge here.”

“Ha,” the Grandmaster replied, “if they give us trouble, well I’ll just take care of ‘em. Got my Melt Stick and that’s just for starters. They have no idea how powerful I am, no they do not.”

Loki wondered if the Grandmaster could possibly be more powerful than the Great Allfathers. Loki knew that the Grandmaster was potentially one of the most powerful beings in existence, so perhaps he could stand a chance against them, should it come to that. But too much was on the line to bet on an unknown.

"As undeniably great as your power is," Loki told him, "I think we must be discreet in this case."

The Grandmaster sulked.

“If I may inquire,” Loki’s curiosity drove him to ask, “how did you escape my spell to keep you in the suite?”

“Oh that,” the Grandmaster replied, “you know, I just got really really small,” he held his thumb and forefinger so they were nearly touching and squinted dramatically as if trying to peer at a tiny person in the sliver between his fingers, “and then I just, uh, climbed between the threads of your magic. Easy-peasy.”

“Very impressive,” Loki said honestly. The Grandmaster beamed proudly.

"Grandmaster,” Loki ventured, “Heimdall and Mjolnir and I would be so honored if you would help us with our plan," in a sweet tone he added, "please, my dear friend?"

"Hmm," the Grandmaster put his fingers to his lips in thought. "What do I get if I help?" 

"My gratitude," Loki smiled as he lay a hand on the Grandmaster's knee. Loki was tired from his fitful sleep, and he hoped a little of his charm would go a long way. It usually did, where the Grandmaster was concerned.

"Mmm," the Grandmaster grinned, "well that, my _dear_ friend, that is certainly worth something."

"You’ll help then?" Loki asked, his voice heavy with dramatized need.

The Grandmaster looked at him for a long moment, then shrugged.

“For now.”

There, it took hardly any effort at all.

“Thank you very much, Grandmaster.”

The Grandmaster winked at him. “So, what next,” he asked, rolling up his sleeves, “what needs to be done?”

“Today I must rest and gather my strength for the difficult magic I must perform tomorrow. What I am going to try to do will be very challenging, to say the least.” Loki tried to think of the best way to occupy the Grandmaster for the day so that he could get the quiet relaxation he needed. “Heimdall is expecting me to meet him at his suite though,” he lied, “to complete a task. If you take on that job, it will allow me the rest I need.” There wasn’t any task, and Loki felt just a little badly pawning the Grandmaster off on Heimdall, who clearly didn’t enjoy his company. Still, Loki couldn’t help but be a little amused by the idea of Heimdall having to keep the Grandmaster busy.

“What, really,” the Grandmaster whined, “isn’t there anything I can help _you_ with?”

Loki picked up a pen and paper:

_Good morning Heimdall,_  
Pursuant to our earlier discussion, please supply the Grandmaster with information on the task I was meant to do today. I will rest in preparation for tomorrow and meet you at Mjolnir’s in the morning.  
~Loki 

“This _is_ to help me,” Loki said as he folded up the piece of paper and handed it to the Grandmaster, “I’ll give you a glamour so there is no risk of you being detected while you are out, and I shall tell you the way to Heimdall’s suite. Go there and give him this note.” 

Frowning deeply, the Grandmaster took the paper and, as Loki had expected, unabashedly unfolded and read it.

“Grandmaster, it is imperative that I rest today, and yet there is so much to be done,” Loki told him, “if you could take on this task it would be very helpful to me. And I would be most grateful.”

The Grandmaster gave a put-upon sigh, then tucked the paper into the folds of his robe.

“Fine, fine,” he agreed, “I’ll do it. For you. But I don’t need your glamour. I know how to hide when I want to.”

After the Grandmaster had left, cloaked by his own powers, Loki let a crack open in the warding that kept his suite private.

_“Heimdall,”_ he called out with his mind, _“sending the Grandmaster your way, keep him occupied so I can rest.”_ After a moment he added, _“sorry.”_

In his head, Loki could hear Heimdall’s belabored sigh.

_“You are not sorry, do not lie. I can see you smirking,”_ Heimdall spoke into Loki’s mind.

Loki laughed aloud.

_“Fine, I think it is hilarious. But please, there is no way I’ll get the rest I need with him around. He demands entertainment.”_

_“I am so glad you sent him to me then,”_ Heimdall said with bitter sarcasm. The tone was unusual for him, and Loki realized it was an indication of how stressed Heimdall was. Then Loki really did feel badly.

_“I am sorry,”_ he said sincerely. Silence followed, and Loki wondered if Heimdall was in shock. 

_“It is alright, Loki,”_ Heimdall told him, his voice softened, _“just rest.”_

_“I shall see you tomorrow,”_ Loki replied, then sealed his warding once again and made his way back to bed.

~

_“How could you do this to her, brother?” Thor asked. He was on his knees, hunched over the shattered pieces of Mjolnir. He was crying out of his one eye. Where his other eye once was remained only a black hallow. Loki looked into it and realized it was a portal._

_“Go, then, brother,” Thor yelled, “leave me.”_

_Loki cried out Thor’s name, then realized it was too late for Thor to hear him. Loki was already inside the portal, falling endlessly -_

Loki awoke reaching out for solid ground. He found he was in his bed and breathed a sigh of relief. He rolled over and went back to sleep.

_“Why are you doing this?” Frigga asked him._

_“It’s not because I’m a hero, I can tell you that,” Loki replied._

_“Vengeance? Recognition? To save yourself?”_

_“Yes, all of those,” Loki admitted._

_“Is a pure motive what makes a hero? Is there even such a thing?”_

_“What makes a hero then, please tell me, mother, please.”_

_But she faded away. And Loki was in the Dungeons of Asgard again and he felt truly and utterly worthless. He turned to find that Thanos was his cellmate. Thanos stepped toward him, moving closer and closer in slow motion, his face a frozen grin that grew in size with each step. Thanos raised his arm, reaching out -_

This time Loki woke up feeling for Thanos’ fingers around his throat. Even after he could feel with his own hands that there was nothing around his neck, the grip of Thanos’ fist was a sensation Loki couldn’t escape. 

After a small snack and a cup of tea, Loki tried again to sleep. He would have just stayed up if it weren’t for the difficult magic he would be facing the following day. He hated going back to sleep after nightmares. He could feel his aversion to the bed pushing him away as though they were two like magnets. But he was determined to do what must be done to accomplish the team’s goals.

_“I saw you when you were a child,” Mjolnir was saying in Heimdall’s voice._

_“And you knew at once I was a monster,” Loki said._

_“No,” Mjolnir said, “you were innocent at the start.”_

_“Do you not remember, brother,” Thor was now saying, “being innocent together?”_

_“Before everything,” Loki replied._

_“Maybe you’re not so bad after all, brother,” Thor said, and suddenly they were on the Statesman, right after Ragnarok._

_“Maybe not,” Loki replied._

_There was a knock on the door of Thor’s cabin. It was Thanos at the door._

_“You really are the worst, brother,” Thanos said in Thor’s voice. Loki turned around to tell Thor he was sorry for taking the Tesseract, but Thor wasn’t there any longer. Loki was alone with Thanos, and then Loki was bound to the bed and Thanos was taking out a knife -_

With a small gasp Loki pulled himself out of the nightmare. His eyes fluttered opened for an instant, but he didn’t manage to wake himself fully. Soon sleep gripped him again and he couldn’t escape.

_“You can end this at any time, Asgardian,” Thanos was saying. He picked up an enormous hour glass. It was bigger than Loki’s body, but Thanos held it in his palm. “Tell me you will remove the protection spell from the Tesseract. Or I will remove another chunk of your body.”_

_Loki tried to move but he was tied down._

_“Surely someone as powerful as yourself doesn’t need my help to get things done,” he flattered Thanos, who laughed._

_“This_ is _how I get things done, child,” Thanos said, and Loki felt the blade cut deeper into him, “but I am a fair parent, and I use positive reinforcements as well as negative ones when my children misbehave. Fall back in line before the top of the hour glass empties, and I will still let you use my army.”_

_The Chitauri emerged from the darkness beneath and all at once Loki was surrounded. They closed in on him, then suddenly Loki was inside the Orb. There was no light, but he could see._

_“Are we safe here?” Loki heard Mjolnir ask. He turned and tried to reply, but he could not speak, and then he remembered that Thanos had cut out his throat -_

This time Loki didn’t try to go back to sleep. 

~

Heimdall had sent the Grandmaster back to Loki’s suite late in the evening. When Loki left the following morning, the Grandmaster was still asleep. Loki had wondered if he should wake the Grandmaster up and bring him along. It was important that the Grandmaster remain cooperative, and so there was value to making him feel included. Ultimately, though, Loki decided that the Grandmaster would only get in the way. This day’s work was too important, and the tasks involved were too delicate. He left River with instructions to keep the Grandmaster entertained.

“So, it is time at last,” Mjolnir said with sorrow. Heimdall was standing some distance away from them, wearing his trademark unreadable expression.

“Are you ready?” Loki asked Mjolnir gently. He had prepared the ingredients and readied himself to begin the spell that would allow him to contact the Great Allfathers. Once he was with them, he would strive to use his Will to persuade them to bring Mjolnir’s old brand of Worthiness to the surface. 

“Promise me,” Mjolnir replied in a voice that was part sob, “promise me you will not let me hurt anyone.”

“Besides Thanos, and those who fight on his behalf,” Loki clarified.

“Yes,” Mjolnir replied, “I do not know who I shall be, what I might try to do, after the change. Promise me, if I seem like a danger to innocents, confine me, destroy me if need be, do whatever you must to stop me. Please, promise you will stop me. I never want to act as a villain, never again.”

“I promise,” Loki replied at once. It was the least he could do.

“Then I am ready,” Mjolnir said in a distant voice.

Loki nodded with a smile that was meant to be comforting, but which Loki suspected had missed the mark. He picked up the Reflection Tablet to start the process. He would first set up the circle of Tablets around his head, then complete the contact spell with them in place; that way he would have his amplified Will at the ready upon meeting the Great Allfathers. When the Tablet and its clones were in position, he performed what he had in the demonstration, but pushed himself much harder, and this time he did not make his Will visible. Loki alone knew its might. 

“Great Allfathers,” Loki chanted, beginning the contact spell, “I pray You grant me conference.”

Nothing happened.

“Great Allfathers,” Loki asked again, “I pray You grant me conference.”

“It is not working,” Mjolnir said anxiously.

“Wait,” Heimdall replied.

The goblet of precisely mixed ingredients Loki had prepared suddenly lit ablaze. The flames reached up toward the ceiling, then receded and smoldered until only smoke remained. Loki picked up the goblet and swallowed its contents in one big gulp. The taste was bitter. Loki felt faint. He put his arms out to balance himself. 

“Is this what is supposed to happen?” Mjolnir asked in a voice that sounded far away. 

“He will be alright,” Heimdall’s voice was saying. Loki opened his mouth to agree, then closed it, because somehow he knew he couldn’t be heard in that place any longer. The room was melting around him. Soon Loki was somewhere else.

~

_“Why have you disturbed us?” a gruff voice asked._

_Loki shielded his eyes from the countless tiny bright lights that shimmered around him. Once his vision had adjusted, Loki saw that each light cast a shadow in the shape of a body. The effect created was such that the space was somehow too bright and too dim at once. Loki kneeled._

_“Great Allfathers,” Loki said humbly, “I come to honor You, and to bid You hear my prayers.”_

_“Let us hear them then,” said a second voice. This one sounded younger, and very bored. Loki could see the particular light that the voice came from pulse brighter when it spoke._

_“Great Allfathers, with our hearts and minds we come to pray -” Loki began one of the old Asgardian prayers, but a third voice interrupted him, its corresponding light flaring._

_“You better have bothered us for something more interesting than that,” warned the third light._

_“Forgive me if I’ve offended,” Loki said, “and yes, I come to ask something very interesting, actually.”_

_“Tell us,” said the second light, sounding a bit less bored this time as it glinted._

_“Wait,” said the gruff voice of the light who had spoken first, “he must first finish the prayer, then we shall hear him.”_

_Loki finished the prayer at an efficient, but respectful, speed._

_“Great Allfathers, I come to ask for Your help, should you see fit to give it,” Loki said after the prayer, “you see, the universe is in great need of rescue from a monster called Thanos who has exterminated half of all life and -”_

_“You are dead,” interrupted the first light, “it is no concern of yours what may be occurring in the realms of the living. Valhalla is a place for heroes to rest. We will not hear your plea. Go now.”_

_“Wait,” said the second and third lights in unison._

_“Great Allfathers,” Loki said in a smooth voice as he pushed his Will, just a bit, in all directions, “I know that I am on an unconventional quest. But I believe it is an honorable one, and I think you will agree, if I might explain?”_

_“You presume to know what we believe?” bellowed the first light._

_“Forgive me,” Loki murmured, bowing his head low._

_“You need not convey the rest anyhow,” said the third light, “we can see everything that transpires, of course.”_

_“But we were hoping you might make it more interesting in the telling,” added the second light, sounding disappointed._

_“You see everything?” Loki asked, suddenly imagining himself, Heimdall, and Mjolnir all getting sent to Hel. Loki suspected the Grandmaster could take care of himself, but what would happen to River? Would River be punished for keeping Loki’s secrets? Loki was furious with himself for not finding a stronger privacy spell. He had to work out exactly why his warding had failed. He began to go over the spell in his mind. Had he made a mistake? Or was it simply impossible to hide from the Great Allfathers?_

_“We do not care about your little plan,” said the second light._

_Loki wasn’t sure how to respond._

_“We do not care because there is no way you will ever get out of Valhalla,” the first light said firmly._

_“We were actually impressed when you found a way to bring in inanimate objects from that destroyed ship,” said the second light, “that was an interesting day. But you, and Heimdall, and Mjolnir – you are none of you inanimate objects. You have each a consciousness, and that is a thing which can never pass illegally through the walls that protect Valhalla.”_

_“So, you see, even if we did as you wish,” said the third light, “no Bifrost would provide transport in and out of Valhalla. It is not like one of the Nine Realms, nor any realm of the living. There are no secret pathways to travel - none to be found, nor made. No one may enter unless they belong, and no one may leave, for they have found where they belong.”_

_Loki was careful not to let it show on his face, but he realized at once what these statements revealed: The Great Allfathers did not know that the Grandmaster was in Valhalla._

_“The walls are impenetrable,” said the first light sternly, “now leave us, we reject your request.”_

_Loki waited to hear if any of the other countless lights objected, but none came to his aid this time. He flared his Will._

_“I suppose it is a fool’s errand then,” Loki said, “but aren’t those of us who belong in Valhalla meant to entertain ourselves in the ways that please us most?” He paused, then took the continued silence as a sign to go on, “of course I am very grateful to have a helper in my suite, and for all the books and forms of entertainment made available to me through that channel.”_

_“Yet you ask for more?” said the second light, sounding more intrigued than disapproving._

_“What harm does it do to expand the ways in which we amuse ourselves? Those of us in Valhalla have an eternity to fill, after all. And with beings as powerful and all-knowing as Yourselves, I imagine it would take almost no effort at all to do as I am asking.”_

_“Of course it would be easy for us,” boomed the first light angrily, “that is not the issue, Odinson.”_

_Loki’s breath caught, and he gave a startled double blink at the complicated bundle of feelings that engulfed him. It was not merely being called that name; it was knowing that the Great Allfathers saw him that way. Odinson. But he moved past it and focused on the task at hand. He lowered his eyelids and envisioned his Will pushing harder against the space around him. He dragged it violently from inside himself. With the body that was still in Mjolnir’s suite, Loki could feel the impact each time his Will slammed into one of the Reflection Tablets, and again as it bounced back against his head. It was painful – a sharp stab at each point of contact along with a deep ache in his chest, hands, and head from the exertion. But Loki felt empowered._

_“Of course,” he said, opening his eyes, “of course it would be beyond easy for You. But why, You ask, should You do it? Because You are the benevolent, loving, caring Great Allfathers. All of Asgard is taught how merciful and generous and deeply good You are. You are who we all aspire to be. You are the definition of perfection for us all to strive for.”_

_“Yes, we are those things,” said the second light with self-satisfaction._

_“Precisely,” Loki agreed with enthusiasm, “and we all are endlessly grateful for all that you give us.” He twisted strings of his Will into thick, invisible rope. Using his mind, Loki lassoed his rope into a circle as wide around the space as he could manage._

_“Well,” said the third light, “I suppose it would not hurt anything to let them play their game.”_

_“It could be entertaining to watch,” suggested the second light._

_There was a long silence while everyone waited for the first light to reply. Loki gritted his teeth and his body gave a violent shake as he wound his Will in spiraling vines, sprouting thorns as they filled the space, crossing each other in a thick tangle. His vision blurred, and Loki felt as though he might suffocate._

_“I wish to be done with this business,” said the first light at last, “fine then, we will grant your request. You will be grateful, and then you will leave us. You shall not bother us again, Odinson.”_

_Loki bowed his head very low as relief flooded him. He was not sure he could have pushed himself much farther._

_“Great Allfathers, words cannot express the depths of my -”_

_“We already said yes,” interrupted the second light, “let us get on with it. I cannot wait to see how this plays out.”_

_“Yes, of course,” Loki said, “please tell me what to do.”_

_“Hold out your hands,” the first light commanded._

_To his surprise, Loki was suddenly scared of the power he was about to receive. He put out his hands anyhow._

_The sensation was somehow hot and cold at once. It was painful, and yet Loki felt an intense pleasure, an elation that overwhelmed him. Time was lost. Nothing meant anything, and yet Loki knew that, deep inside himself, specks of everything that had ever existed were mingling in harmony. And it was all important. Eventually – after what could have been moments or years – the feeling faded away. As Loki tried to catch his breath, he noticed a scroll had appeared in his hands._

_“Your hands have now the power,” said the second light, “lay one on Mjolnir, hold the scroll in the other, and recite the incantation written.”_

_“Have fun,” said the second and third lights in unison._

_“Leave us,” yelled the first light._

“Are you alright?” someone asked, and then everything went dark as Loki collapsed, his body landing on Mjolnir’s floor with a heavy thud.

~

Loki woke up in his bed with no sense of how long he had slept. 

“Good morning,” River said.

Loki sat up, his hand moving to his aching head. He wondered if this was what Midgardian hangovers were like.

“There’s food on the table,” River told him, “and coffee.”

“How long was I asleep?” Loki asked as he stumbled to the kitchen.

“Nearly two days.”

“Two days?” Loki asked incredulously.

“You must have needed it. Heimdall told me about the spell when he brought you home. It sounds like you pushed yourself very hard.”

River sounded concerned, and Loki tried to ignore it, reminding himself River could not care. 

“This is good, thank you,” Loki said, changing the subject as he began to eat.

“Sweetpea!”

Loki raised his head to find the Grandmaster in the doorway.

“You’re awake, my lil’ sleeping beauty,” he said as he bounced over and sat beside Loki, “I’ve been dying - just _dying_ \- of boredom! Heimdall won’t let me do anything, it’s, it’s just ridiculous.” He flailed his arms in outrage, and then crossed them and pouted aggressively.

Loki’s mind was still working slowly. He didn’t have it in him to entertain the Grandmaster just now. He sipped his coffee and said nothing. The Grandmaster stared at him for a long time, waiting for attention. Loki was silent, and eventually the Grandmaster gave up on waiting for Loki to ask after him and began to volunteer the information. He told Loki all about his activities of the past two days and Loki made a token effort to listen. There was a lot of complaining about Heimdall. 

“...but,” the Grandmaster seemed to be concluding, “I did promise you I wouldn’t melt him, so he’s fine.”

“Thank you, Grandmaster,” Loki said without enthusiasm.

The Grandmaster met this with silence. Loki didn’t look up, but he could feel the Grandmaster’s intense gaze as he waited for a better response. Loki did not give him one.

“Guess I’ll go play my keyboard then,” the Grandmaster said coldly. Loki didn’t object when he left.

“More food? And water after all that coffee?” River asked. 

“Yes please,” Loki replied. He didn’t usually eat so much, but today he felt famished, despite the plateful he had just eaten. River made him another course and he was happy to be able to enjoy it in silence.

When he was done, he lay down again and dozed for another hour. Upon rising, Loki tried to assess if he had recovered enough to perform yet another intense act of magic. He realized that he was now ready, energetically and physically, to perform the magic that would change Mjolnir, yet his emotional resistance to the idea overwhelmed him. There was no more delaying, and there was no escaping, having to hurt Mjolnir in one of the worst ways Loki could imagine. 

He showered and changed his clothes, then made his way to Mjolnir’s suite. Loki called to Heimdall along the way, and they met there.

“Are you well?” Mjolnir asked right away.

Loki nodded.

“Are you?” Loki asked in return. 

“Just remember your promise, Loki.”

“I shall.”

“Is there anything either of you need before you begin?” Heimdall asked gently.

“No,” Mjolnir said in a voice that seemed emotionless, “go on.”

“I am ready as well,” Loki told them.

It was time.

~

The power of the Great Allfathers scorched him as he lay his hand upon Mjolnir. Loki tried to release the power gradually, to make it easier for Mjolnir, but he could not hold it back. Once the connection had been made the magic burst from his hand. He felt it pulling away from him, and it was difficult to breathe as it settled partially into Mjolnir, shackling them to one another. Loki felt the tough unseen ropes of magic stretching between them, pulled painfully taut and digging into his skin. Instinctively, he leaned closer to Mjolnir, but the bonds were not physical, and his proximity did not provide any slack. With his free hand, Loki held the scroll.

“The power of the Great Allfathers flows through these hands,” Loki began to chant, “The power of the Great Allfathers awakens the dark magic within the one I touch.”

All at once the link was broken. The remaining magic was sucked out of Loki and pulled violently into Mjolnir. An ooze of green and black formed around Mjolnir, thickening until all that could be seen was an amorphous blob of gelatinous bubbles, swelling and overlapping. A circle of bright green light pierced the cloud like a breach in space itself, and gradually Mjolnir emerged.

It had never escaped Loki’s notice that his colors were the same as Hela’s, but he generally tried not to think about it. He liked those colors. He had worn them since childhood, and he refused to let her ruin them for him. But seeing Mjolnir’s darkness reborn from the same green and black essence that Hela had come from, Loki found it impossible not to wonder what this similarity to his villainous sister might imply.

“Mjolnir?” Loki inquired after a heavy silence. There was no reply for a long time.

“Mjolnir has disconnected our link,” Loki heard Mjolnir’s voice say – then Loki remembered that it had never been Mjolnir’s physical voice, but the helper voice of the suite, speaking on Mjolnir’s behalf. “I can no longer speak for Mjolnir,” the suite’s helper voice continued, “unless Mjolnir reestablishes our psychic link.”

Loki and Heimdall both stared at Mjolnir. The cloud of black and green had drawn itself fully into the metal of Mjolnir’s form. Mjolnir now looked the same as before the dark magic had been activated, yet Loki could feel the difference. It filled the air with a creeping humidity and prickled over Loki’s skin like the points of miniscule blades. 

“Perhaps we ought to take a break,” Heimdall suggested, “before we try to create the Bifrost.”

“Yes,” Loki agreed, and they watched as Mjolnir floated silently to another room.

“What have we done,” Loki murmured.

“Mjolnir is a hero,” Heimdall said at once, “and this is what heroes do.”

“Sacrifice?” Loki asked. He was still trying to understand what it meant to be a hero.

“Not sacrifice for its own sake, no,” Heimdall replied, “but find within themselves the bravery to do what the fight for good demands, despite the obstacles, despite their fears.”

“Hmm,” Loki replied shortly. He felt as though he still didn’t understand. “I think I’ll lay down before the next part,” Loki said, and he made his way to one of the bedrooms. He didn’t truly want to sleep, but he needed to be alone. An ill feeling engulfed him, and Loki knew from much experience that it was guilt. He wished he was in his own bed, so he could talk to River.

When he heard the knock at the door Loki realized he had drifted to sleep after all.

“I believe we are ready to create Bifrost,” Heimdall told him as he opened the door.

“Very well.”

Loki followed Heimdall to the living room, where Mjolnir floated silently. Heimdall used his powers to call the Grandmaster, who arrived soon after, eager to try out the ‘rainbow slide he had heard so much about.’ 

“Now that we have obtained both Hofund’s essence and,” Heimdall paused and glanced at Mjolnir, and Loki saw in Heimdall’s eyes the guilt that they shared, “and access to dark magic,” Heimdall continued, “we should be able to make Bifrost. Since it will be fueled by Hela’s dark magic, which is exceedingly strong, I believe the Bifrost we create will be powerful enough to get us out of Valhalla. I will direct Hofund to transport us to where Thor currently is.”

“Where is that?” Loki asked.

“Midgard.”


	5. Your Optimism Is Misplaced, Asgardian

“I knew it would not work,” Loki said, deflated. He chided himself for having let in hope that their plan would succeed. “I told you,” he yelled at Heimdall, “I told you at the start that Bifrost would not get us past Valhalla’s walls.”

“Loki -” Heimdall began, sounding as dejected as Loki felt.

“We cannot penetrate such borders, this is not like traveling out of Asgard,” Loki interrupted, “I told you. You see now? All this was pointless, for nothing, we created Bifrost and it was useless, it is all meaningless.” Loki fought back tears. “Why did I ever let you talk me into this absurd plan?”

“There must be another way,” Heimdall said with strained hope, “we just need to think.”

“No,” Loki said, “this is over. Did you feel how hard the walls pushed back against our efforts? How powerless we were, despite having finally created a Bifrost – and not just any Bifrost, but an especially powerful one fueled by the dark magic of Hela? It is clear to me now that our accomplishments don’t matter; the magic that fortifies the walls of Valhalla is far more powerful than any Bifrost. There’s a reason no one comes back from this realm. You are delusional if you still think we can get out. Enjoy paradise and leave me alone.” Loki glared furiously at Heimdall before he turned to storm out. Rushing toward the door, Loki kept his head down, unable to face Mjolnir. The Grandmaster followed Loki out.

“Woah, wait, wait,” the Grandmaster said when he caught up to Loki’s brisk pace, “aw, Sweetpea, so pouty. What can I do to, uh, cheer you up?” 

“Nothing,” Loki grumbled.

But then he realized there just might be another way out of Valhalla after all. How could he have forgotten.

“Grandmaster, let us take a stroll,” Loki suggested.

“Lead the way,” he agreed with excitement.

Loki walked the Grandmaster through winding hallways covered in golden wallpaper, past crowded lounges full of loud merriment, and down dirt roads that ran between lush fields. Finally, they came to the forest. They sat under a tree and Loki cast a privacy ward around the space. He tried his best to make it stronger than his previous wards, though he wasn’t sure any ward could block the sight of the Great Allfathers. At least the success of his thought veiling spell meant he could keep Heimdall from seeing. Loki took a spiteful sort of comfort in that.

“Wanted to be alone with me, huh?” the Grandmaster asked with a lustful smirk.

“Yes,” Loki said in a serious tone, “I have another idea on how to get out of Valhalla and I need your help.”

The Grandmaster rolled his eyes and made a noise of dramatic exasperation.

“Oh, is that all,” he asked with disappointment, “I thought I was going to get to _comfort_ you,” he said, winking on the word ‘comfort.’

Loki didn’t want to lose the Grandmaster’s favor. It was clear now that his assistance was crucial.

“Well,” Loki said in a flirtatious tone, “that is all for _now_ , but I would adore being _comforted_ when we have the time.” He batted his eyelashes.

The Grandmaster grinned.

“Okay, okay, you cute thing you, I can’t, I just can’t say no to you. Tell me what you need.”

Loki smiled to himself. 

“Well, it seems no being with a consciousness is able to travel in or out of Valhalla. Rather,” Loki corrected, “none but you.”

“Ooh,” the Grandmaster replied with delight, “aren’t I special. And you want to know how it happened?”

Loki nodded, arranging his face into one of appealing need in case the Grandmaster was considering withholding the information. The Grandmaster bit his lip and gazed hungrily at Loki for a beat, then hurried to reveal everything. Loki smirked.

“So, the Containment Orbs, the Statesman, all the tech from Sakaar, the tech the planet itself runs on - it’s all connected to me me me. I made it all, you see, and it’s kind of like I _am_ the planet, or I guess more like the planet is me. So, clever fellow that I am, I had an Orb stowed away in each of my ships. In case I ever needed a stealthy escape, you know,” he waved a hand dismissively, “in case of any, uh, misunderstanding,” he shrugged, “these things can happen sometimes. And it is ever so easy for me to travel from Sakaar to one of my ships, or from Sakaar to one of my Orbs, if I need to be discrete. You know, tech-to-tech travel. Because, uh, the Orbs, the ships, the obedience discs, The Looker, every piece of tech you saw when you were on Sakaar - it’s all the same, it’s all the planet, it’s all me. Impressed?” He grinned widely.

Loki considered this.

“So, since Sakaar is a part of you, because your consciousness remains linked to it, your presence here was undetected by the Great Allfathers. To them you read as being still on Sakaar.”

“Guess so,” the Grandmaster agreed, “so what now?”

~

The next morning, after Loki had cooled down and had a talk with River about it, he realized he should fight his instinct to spitefully hide his new idea from Heimdall. He parted the warding in his room.

 _“Heimdall,”_ he called out with his mind.

 _“Loki,”_ Heimdall’s voice replied inside Loki’s mind. 

_“I have a new idea. Shall we meet at Mjolnir’s?”_

_“Yes,”_ Heimdall replied hopefully.

 _“And the Grandmaster will be coming along with me,”_ Loki warned him.

Heimdall didn’t reply, but Loki knew he had heard him.

When Loki and the Grandmaster arrived at Mjolnir’s suite the door opened as usual and they were invited inside.

“Mjolnir?” Loki asked.

“No, sorry,” said the helper voice of the suite, “Mjolnir has not reestablished our connection. But I will make known your presence.”

A few moments later Heimdall arrived.

“Hello Heimdall,” the Grandmaster said in an irritated tone.

“Grandmaster, Loki,” Heimdall said coldly.

They waited in awkward silence until Mjolnir joined them. 

Ultimately Mjolnir emerged, floating at an eerily slow speed toward the room. With alarm, Loki noticed the trail of green smoke that followed Mjolnir’s movement. Hiding his panic, Loki waited for the line of ominous smoke to dissipate.

“Loki says he has a new plan,” Heimdall announced after Loki had failed to speak.

“Yes,” Loki said, bringing his focus back, “our Bifrost was blocked by the walls of Valhalla, which, according to the Great Allfathers, prevent the passage of anything with a consciousness. This is why we three were blocked from leaving. But, when I spoke to the Great Allfathers there was something else I learned -”

“That I’m super special,” interrupted the Grandmaster with glee.

“Yes, precisely,” Loki told them, “the Great Allfather’s do not know that the Grandmaster is here. They cannot see him, or anything he does. They cannot detect him because of a link he shares with his home planet.”

Heimdall appeared very interested now. Mjolnir floated, motionless and voiceless, across from them. The green smoke had not thinned.

“Hmm,” Heimdall said, “so the Grandmaster can pass through the walls as he pleases. Have you an idea on how the three of us might accompany him out of Valhalla?” asked Heimdall.

“Containment Orb,” yelled the Grandmaster proudly, “those are such handy dandy little things. A genius invention, if I don’t go ahead and say so myself. Mm-hmm.” He nodded with enthusiasm.

Heimdall looked to Loki for further explanation.

“I thought the Containment Orb was,” Heimdall paused and glanced at Mjolnir, then hung his head for a moment, “I thought it was occupied.”

“Yes,” Loki nodded, “the Orb that the Grandmaster transported here in, that first Orb now holds Mjolnir’s,” he paused because he was afraid the wrong phrasing might anger the now partially darkened Mjolnir, “Mjolnir’s sample,” he continued, “but, happily, we have another.”

“A second Containment Orb?” Heimdall asked, “that you scavenged unbeknownst to us,” he asked in a vaguely disapproving tone. Loki scoffed at his judgment because it was clear that, had Loki not scavenged the remains of the Statesman, their plan would have fallen apart already. Heimdall was the one who had come to Loki with a plan doomed to fail. Yet he had the audacity to look down on Loki despite it all.

“No,” Loki replied bitterly, “the Grandmaster had it on his person when he arrived.”

“Yes,” Heimdall replied, “when your scavenging brought him here.”

Loki rolled his eyes with exasperation.

“So,” Heimdall continued, “this second Orb, it is empty?”

“No,” the Grandmaster exclaimed with excitement, “I hid my Melt Stick inside! Wanna’ see it?”

“Melt Stick?” Heimdall turned to Loki for explanation.

“It’s a powerful weapon. It may be of use to us, in defeating Thanos.”

“No, no, no, not _may_ be, it _will_ be. I will melt him one-two-three, easy as pie,” the Grandmaster said, then shrugged, “uh, whatever that means.” He tilted his head, “could I get some pie, actually, hey, you - room voice whoever you are? Pie?”

Loki and Heimdall sighed in unison.

“Grandmaster,” Loki said gently, “perhaps we can eat later. It might be best to focus just now.”

“Right, right, okay, sure,” the Grandmaster said as he leaned back on the couch and folded his arms behind his head.

“Loki,” Heimdall said, “you were going to tell us the rest of your plan to get us past the walls of Valhalla?”

“Yes,” Loki began, “the Grandmaster can travel in and out of Valhalla undetected, but we cannot. However, once the Grandmaster has released his Melt Stick and the second Orb is empty, we can hide in it one at a time. The Great Allfathers will not see us while we are inside the Orb, its link to Sakaar will cloak us, as it cloaks the Grandmaster himself.” 

“And he will transport us one at a time to Midgard? Where Thor is?”

“Well, no, you see, the Grandmaster can only travel between different aspects of his planet’s technology – those aspects are all connected to each other, and to him. That is how he will get back into Valhalla each time to retrieve us - his link to the other Sakaarian technology I conjured from the Statesman’s debris. But there is no Sakaarian technology on Midgard for him to link to.”

“Let’s go to Sakaar!” The Grandmaster yelled, sitting forward and clapping delightedly, “it’s so great! Sweetpea, tell ‘em, tell ‘em.”

“Grandmaster,” Loki said gently, “the Revolution, remember?”

“Oh damn,” the Grandmaster said, looking deflated, “right, that whole thing.”

“So, he will transport us from Valhalla to the location of the remains of the Statesman, which I assume are still in the outer space between the various realms of the living?” Heimdall asked Loki, “and then we may travel by means of Bifrost from there?”

Loki nodded.

“The Grandmaster’s ability to withstand outer space himself, as well as manipulate his technology, will allow us to exist comfortably in space long enough to cast Bifrost to Midgard from there. You see, we are making use of our ability to create Bifrost after all,” Loki said. Although he and Heimdall had tension between them, Loki imagined that Heimdall was in pain over his intricate plan having failed. Loki felt badly for him; he knew all too well how agonizing failure could be. And after Heimdall had been so hopeful. It must have been a terrible let down.

“So, so, so,” the Grandmaster said, bouncing up as though it had been a great difficulty for him to be quiet for the past few minutes, “when do we do it? Gotta’ tell you, I’m itching to liberate my Stick.” He smirked, then winked at Loki.

~ 

“Circumstances have granted us the opportunity for a second goodbye,” Loki said to his apparently empty suite, “River,” he added in a gentle voice. If the plan failed, Loki guessed he would end up in Hel, not Valhalla, and if the plan succeeded, he would be again in the realms of the living. Either way, he would not be with River. 

During their first farewell, before Loki had gone off with plans to leave via Bifrost, Loki had acted cold and guarded, only mumbling a few words on his way out. He hadn’t wanted to admit to himself how much he knew he would miss River. He hadn’t wanted to acknowledge the part of himself that had come to think of River as a trusted friend. Loki had long felt that he had lost his understanding of what friendship meant - but if it meant always being there for someone and wanting what is best for them, then River certainly fit the description. Loki was glad now, for the second chance to say good-bye properly.

“Farewell, Loki,” River replied, “I wish you much luck in your quest.” There was no tone to River’s voice.

“Thank you,” Loki replied, then asked, “what will happen to you?”

“Each helper is designed for a specific being. I was made for you. But you will be back one day. I will be waiting.”

“Waiting?” Loki asked, blinking away tears he told himself were ridiculous, “will it be like you are asleep or,” he paused, afraid of the answer, “will you be punished?”

“No,” River replied at once, “I will not be punished.”

“No?” Loki asked, suspicious that River was lying so as not to make him feel guilty.

“No,” River replied confidently, “the walls of Valhalla are responsible for keeping beings in and out. That is not the job of a suite helper. My allegiance is to you. I will not be faulted for keeping your secrets, even if you succeed in your plan to leave here.”

Loki nodded, relieved.

“Goodbye for now, Loki,” River said, this time in a warm tone, “I hope you will have a long and happy life, and I know that you will continue to be a hero, and so we will see each other again one day.”

As usual, Loki was flustered by being referred to as a hero. He pushed it aside.

“I’m glad we will see each other again,” he stated.

“As am I.”

“Would it be alright with you if I cast an illusion of,” Loki began, feeling like there was little harm in it now, “or, well, maybe you don’t need me to do it, maybe you can yourself, I don’t know if you have the ability or not,” he mumbled, embarrassed, “what I mean to say is,” he took a deep breath, “could you take form, so we could hug goodbye? That is to say,” he added awkwardly, “only if you want to.”

River appeared before him at once. As with River’s voice, no gender was discernible. River’s short hair and friendly eyes were brown, and River’s build was slight. Though it was not how he had pictured River, now that he saw it, Loki could not imagine any other form fitting River so perfectly. He stared, frozen, because this was far stranger than he had anticipated.

River smiled - a soft smile that felt as though it smoothed over the parts of Loki that were sharp and jagged. He felt River’s arms wrap around him. He jerked back at first, startled by how solid and real River felt, but after a moment he relaxed and hugged River in return. They stayed that way for a long moment, and River’s hug was warm and unguarded. 

“Till we meet again, River,” Loki said, and he let a tear roll down his cheek. River had always told him that it was alright to cry. 

“How about one last cup of tea?” River asked gently.

“If you’ll join me,” Loki replied. 

River appeared two cups of tea on the kitchen table and they sat together. Belatedly, Loki realized that suite helpers may not be able to eat or drink, but then River took a sip. River gave him another smile, and Loki thought there must have been magic in it because all at once he felt like everything would be alright. The new plan was going to succeed. They were going to take down Thanos. They were going to win.


	6. I Am Only Alive Because Fate Wants Me Alive

It seemed like it was taking too long for the Grandmaster to return after carrying Mjolnir, inside the second Orb, to the outer space between the realms of the living. It had been a shorter wait before the Grandmaster had come back from his first journey, in which he successfully transported Heimdall, hidden inside the Orb. Loki was worried that the Grandmaster might have encountered a problem this time, or perhaps more likely, gotten distracted. Loki waited, anxious and scowling.

_“That is quite enough, Odinson.”_

_Loki looked around and realized he was suddenly back with the Great Allfathers. The bright, dim space felt too small. He wanted to run but he knew he couldn’t. He stood frozen in fear for a long moment, then remembered to kneel._

_“Great Allfathers,” Loki finally said, “greetings to you. It is an honor to be here.”_

_“You cannot charm us this time,” said the second light, who had found Loki so amusing last time, “this has gone too far. It was only supposed to be a game. And now we have detected the sudden absence of Heimdall, and then Mjolnir. Have you cloaked them from us? That should not be possible.”_

_“Furthermore,” yelled the first light, “we hear tell of a foreign creature having found his way into Valhalla somehow? Perhaps helping with your plan? That was not a part of our agreement. How can this even be?”_

_“Maybe there is an interesting explanation,” said the third light to the others. “Is there?” the light asked Loki._

_Loki wondered how the Great Allfathers had finally noticed the Grandmaster. It had seemed so clear that he was undetectable to them._

_“I have seen neither Heimdall nor Mjolnir this day,” Loki tried in an innocent voice, “and I have never seen this creature you speak of – how unnerving that someone may have broken into this sacred place. I can keep watch for someone out of place, if you would like.” He tried to sound very eager to be helpful._

_“Liar,” said the second light bitterly, “the one called Hogun told us the truth in a prayer.”_

_That uptight bastard. Acting so loyal to the laws of Valhalla when he wasn’t even born of Asgard - Hogun was a Vanir, how dare he insert himself into matters that don’t concern him, and why had he even been let into Valhalla in the first place? Loki immediately realized how hypocritical that line of thought was, but he was no less aggravated. How had Hogun even found out about the Grandmaster? At Loki’s instruction, the Grandmaster had kept himself cloaked. Loki had thought he could tell when the Grandmaster was lying, but now he wondered if he had been gullible to take his word for it that he would remain hidden._

_“Hogun prayed to us that he had met a man in the common areas some time ago,” the first light revealed in a stern tone, “a boisterous man telling everyone he would soon be their leader.”_

_Loki tried to hide his exasperation as he recalled the reckless action the Grandmaster had taken shortly after his arrival. Loki had spelled his suite to keep the Grandmaster inside, but the Grandmaster had eluded him that day by changing his size, and it was before Loki had convinced him to cloak himself._

_Since the Grandmaster’s second Orb was what had almost brought their plan to fruition, Loki wasn’t sure how mad to be about the fact that the Grandmaster’s earlier vanity was now ruining everything. Upon arriving in Valhalla, a place where he had no right to be, the Grandmaster’s top priority had been to introduce himself to what he viewed as his future subjects. The Grandmaster had given no thought to the consequences his actions might have. By his own admission, it was a simple act for the Grandmaster to cloak himself. And yet, until Loki had convinced him otherwise, the Grandmaster had chosen to make himself as known as possible to the residents of Valhalla. Loki had welcomed the Grandmaster into his suite and this was the thanks he got. Loki concluded that he was, in fact, very angry at the Grandmaster._

_“This one called Hogan thought the man suspicious,” conveyed the third light, “but considered too that the creature may have been joking, or perhaps delusional. But that creature, you see, he also mentioned you, Loki. And so Hogan decided to maintain watch.”_

_Loki suppressed a glare. Here Loki was trying to save the universe, and that sanctimonious imbecile had tattled on him, assuming his intentions villainous._

_“He did not see that unfamiliar being again,” the second light said, taking over the explanation, “but he pointed out to us that, at a later time, he saw you walk into one of the forests and cast a privacy warding around yourself.”_

_“So, tell us,” said the first light furiously, “why did you need that warding? Why could you not simply go to your suite for privacy?”_

_“We do not know why you would try to hide from us anyhow,” said the second light, sounding curious, “when we already told you we can see through your warding when we wish to.”_

_Loki chastised himself because it was mainly anger at Heimdall that had driven him to cast a privacy warding that day he spoke to the Grandmaster in the forest. Now that spiteful action would be their downfall. Unless Loki could still save things._

_“Sometimes I cast privacy spells when I spend time alone in the forest,” Loki said, his tone precisely pitched to sound very honest, “it makes me feel safe and secure.”_

_The Great Allfathers didn’t say anything for a time, and Loki assumed they were conferring with one another._

_“It is true,” the third light said to Loki, “that when we look back at the scene in question, we see only you, alone.”_

_“Yes,” Loki nodded, “it is a very peaceful practice for me. Sometimes I even talk to myself. I find it reassuring.”_

_There was another silent pause as the Great Allfathers deliberated._

_“Explain this then -,” demanded the first light accusatorily, “why did the mysterious creature speak of you to Hogan when they met? You act as though you know not of what we speak, yet the creature mentioned you by name, and told Hogan that he was a friend to you. Explain this.”_

_Loki realized that this was going to be hard to talk his way out of. If only he had the Reflection Tablet and its clones set up, he could use his Will on the Great Allfathers again. But it was too late to arrange it now that he was already here, trapped in the intangible space where the Great Allfathers seemed to reside._

_“Hogan must have misunderstood. Too much drink, perhaps,” Loki suggested._

_There was another silent moment, and Loki waited, striving to appear calm._

_“We have looked back at the events of that day and do not see him consuming any drink,” announced the third light._

_Without the aid of the Reflection Tablet, Loki doubted his Will was capable of  
influencing the Great Allfathers to any degree. He didn’t even have a reserve supply of his Will stored in his aura right now. He had nothing but what he could summon in this moment, all on his own. It felt impossible, but he decided he would try. Try despite the odds. That is what a hero would do, Loki thought with a bittersweet smile. _

_With no assistance Loki was able to create a large, thick cloud of his Will, jagged edges protruding. This strength of Will would be enough to influence a less powerful being, certainly, but in the face of the Great Allfathers it was useless. Loki strained, and the sharp angles extended, reaching toward the apparent edges of the undefined space._

_“So,” the second light said impatiently, “what do you have to say for yourself?”_

_His attempt was having no effect. Loki took a deep breath and drew his jagged cloud back inside himself. He gathered it up and searched his being for more Will to add. Traveling in his mind through narrow tunnels that led to hidden cracks and corners, Loki discovered bits and pieces of his Will. He tied these scraps to the Will he had already mustered. He tugged it all together, holding it inside, pulling taught the veins that vibrated with the force of his efforts._

_“Great Allfathers,” he began, “please know that I speak only the truth to You.” On the word ‘truth’ he released tightly wound spirals of his Will out in all four directions, but only two of them formed fully. The others were merely loose strands that blinked away in an instant, disappearing into the eerily lit space._

_Loki drew his Will back inside so that he could try a new method. He closed his eyes and inhaled slowly, directing his Will into his aura in order to create a reserve. He doled it out in thin clouds until the vapor began to accumulate, growing thick and heavy. Loki filled his aura a quarter of the way, which was certainly not going to be enough. Normally he would fill it with increments of his Will over the course of many days, or sometimes weeks - and now he was trying to accomplish the task in a matter of minutes. He felt as though he was being flattened, like everything that made him who he was, everything that made him Loki, was being drained away. He wondered if any of him would be left after this. But it didn’t matter. This was what had to be done. This is what a hero would do, Loki thought with determination._

_“The truth you say?” asked the first light in an accusatory tone. Loki realized he had been silent for too long. He needed to buy time so that he could continue to fill his aura._

_“Of course,” Loki replied, struggling to keep his breath even despite his exertion, “how could any of those who worship You tell You lies? Is it even possible? Would You not know it, hear it on their tongues when they prayed?” Loki spoke in a tone of calm devotion, though his heart was beating hard enough that he thought its sound would betray him._

_Inside himself, Loki continued to extract fragments of his Will from anywhere he could, spreading his search from his mind down to his body. Suppressing yelps of pain Loki shaved droplets of Will from his skin, rubbed them from the knots of his muscles, squeezed them from his veins, from the marrow of his cracked open bones. He struggled not to show any outside evidence of what was happening to him on the energetic level. With great effort, Loki stilled his body’s shaking._

_“To lie to You would be illogical,” Loki continued, “You who bring us all that we are and all that we have. You who have given us the breath of life, and the comfort of death. You who have created the complexities of reality and the freedom of dreams. You who gift us with joy, and with sorrow to define it by. No, I could never be anything but honest with You.”_

_“He is lying,” announced the first light decidedly._

_“What shall we do with him?” asked the second light._

_Loki realized he was out of time to continue filling his aura. He wasn’t done, but what he had gathered already would have to be enough, and its release would have to be now. He needed to cast aside all doubt in order to focus. He thought of Thor, and his ability to find blind faith in the certainty of success. It was stupid, but Loki had seen Thor win enough times that it seemed worth a try. Still on his knees, Loki hugged himself, squeezing his body together. He pictured his brother, his annoying optimism. Loki couldn’t relate to it, yet he found that there was a little of Thor held within his heart, and he turned to that, letting its stubborn hope fill him._

_Loki’s gathered Will came from the crown of his head, and a moment later it streamed from his palms as well. He brought his hands to his temples, letting the rivers of Will flow through his fingers into the ocean in his mind. Fortified by the rivers, the ocean of Will crashed out from his head in waves, swallowing everything in a consuming moisture, a dry silent wet without tangible sensation. Invisible as it was, Loki could feel the power and it was nearly too much for him to bear. He clung desperately to consciousness. The energetic water flowed for a long time as Loki released wave after wave in all directions. He was drowning in it, gasping for air now, unable to hide the physical tole the process was taking on his body._

_“What are you doing?” inquired the second light, sounding intrigued._

_“I am not doing anything, Great Allfathers,” Loki said in a strangled voice, “except apologizing for any wrongdoing on my part.” He bowed his head, and the movement was harder than it should have been. His body was shaking violently, and it was difficult to control._

_“Well,” said the third light, “I suppose a warning might suffice.”_

_“What?” yelled the first light, “what are you talking about?”_

_“Is it really so bad?” the second light asked the first, “a little lie, what does it matter?”_

_“How can you say that?” bellowed the first light, “he is disrespecting us. He is breaking laws. He may even be endangering Valhalla.”_

_“I mean no disrespect,” Loki interjected, “and certainly no harm.”_

_“Yes, see?” asked the third light, “you know, it isn’t really his fault - he is a mischief god, after all.”_

_“Yes, we made him as he is,” added the second light._

_“This is unbelievable,” said the first light angrily._

_Loki turned toward the first light. The Will he had assembled was nearly depleted, but he was so close to success. He had influenced two of them already. Somehow, Loki had faith._

_There was one last wave in him, there had to be. Loki closed his eyes tightly and inhaled deeply. He thought about how much this mattered, and why this mattered. He thought about every life that Thanos took after Ragnarok – every life that could be saved._

__They could be saved, _Loki repeated to himself,_ I can help save them. I can. They are worth it. Each of them matters. Every one. If I can help, then I should. If I can help, then I will. __

_It turned out not to be a wave this time, but one strong jet of energetic water. Wide and forceful it slammed into the first light, the strength of its power knocking Loki backward. His head hit the hard surface beneath him and Loki could feel a line of very corporeal blood sliding slowly down his temple. He brought his hand to it and looked at the red. And then everything faded away._

~

When he woke up inside the second Orb, Loki wondered if he was in Hel at last. Then he heard the Grandmaster’s muffled voice from outside, and he realized where he was. And then Loki realized with satisfaction that the Great Allfathers must have let him go. He wanted to smile to himself with pride at his accomplishment but realized with alarm that he had no mouth.

Being inside the Orb was like being nowhere. Loki could feel the essence of himself, but it was broken down, a cluster of specks, and when he instinctively tried to lift his hands to feel for his face, there were no hands to lift. He was a mist now, or perhaps a code, and he hoped it would be over soon. 

“Hey there,” he heard the Grandmaster say as the second Orb opened and Loki’s physical form recreated itself. It happened too fast for him to feel any pain, or any sensation at all. All at once he was solid again. The Orb lay open on the metal surface below their feet, and Loki picked it up. He held it in his hand and it seemed so small. He was glad to be out.

“You look okay now,” the Grandmaster said, looking Loki over.

“What?” Loki asked, still disoriented. He looked around and found that the Grandmaster had used his command over his technology to merge together scraps of blue metal that had once been part of the Statesman’s exterior. The pieces of debris he had chosen now formed an unevenly shaped pod around them, and Loki found he could stand and breathe comfortably. There were no windows, but Loki understood that the pod was in space.

“You were passed out when I came for you. And real bloody. Like, the blood got everywhere, I mean, I mean, just look at my robe,” the Grandmaster looked down, frowning and holding out the folds of shimmery fabric, now dirtied with splatters and smears of blood. “And,” the Grandmaster went on, “your skin was kinda’ blue-ish, and your eyes were all cloudy when I pulled them open, and, uh, I kinda’ think your hands and arms were broken. They were all floppy when I picked you up.”

Loki stretched out his arms, testing them. He rotated his wrists and wiggled his fingers. There was no pain. He looked at his hands and found that his skin color appeared normal. He felt his head for the wound, but it was healed. 

“Feel okay?” the Grandmaster asked, sounding legitimately concerned.

“Yes,” Loki nodded. He was surprised to realize he did not feel exhausted as he had after his first meeting with the Great Allfathers. In fact, he felt quite energized.

“Good, good, good, the Orb healed you up. Thought it would,” the Grandmaster said, sounding relieved, “though I did like that blue skin, I just have to tell you, Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster winked, “mmm, mmm, mmm, my favorite color, you know.”

“I am glad you are well,” Loki heard Heimdall say. Only then did Loki notice him standing nearby, holding a silent Mjolnir in his hand.

“You can pick Mjolnir up?” Loki asked with raised eyebrows.

“Anyone who was deemed Worthy of Valhalla is Worthy enough to lift Mjolnir. The good sort of Worthiness still exists within Mjolnir - of course,” Heimdall rushed to add, “and that is what you and I can connect to in order to carry Mjolnir.”

“I suppose the floating was a function of Valhalla. So,” Loki said with a smile that was sadder than he thought it would be, “I am finally worthy enough.”

“Loki -” Heimdall began, but Loki didn’t want to hear whatever he was going to say. There was no reply that would have made Loki feel better.

“So here we are at last,” Loki said, interrupting. He used a green flash of his magic to create a window in the pod, imposing transparency over a square of the metal. The sight of the vast, black sky that was revealed filled Loki with a sick feeling, “this is where it ended.” 

Heimdall didn’t say anything. Loki watched the scattered remnants of the Statesman drift by the window. He gazed at the stars around them and peered into the depths of space. He thought of everything he almost had. 

And suddenly Loki felt as though it was all happening again, flashes of images and emotions shaking him. Loki’s heart beat too hard. He remembered the feelings too sharply -

_He was happy, and then it was taken from him. He was trying, and then he was failing. Thanos’ ship came into view. Thanos was hurting Thor. Thanos’ hand was around Loki’s throat – squeezing, squeezing, snapping. Hadn’t it mattered how hard Loki had tried to be good? Hadn’t it mattered that he had finally chosen to change? Why had it not mattered, Loki wondered with a desperate, sinking feeling as he felt an eerie coldness take him over. He knew it was death, and in his final moment he tried to call out for Thor, wanting to talk to him one last time, but not knowing what he wanted to say. It didn’t matter though, because it was too late. Loki was gone._

_“No resurrections this time.”_

Loki heard Thanos’ voice so clearly that he turned around, eyes wide in fear. He found only the Grandmaster, grinning at him. 

“Yes,” Heimdall finally replied in a distant voice, “this is the place.” Loki looked to him, but Heimdall’s face was guarded as he stared out the window.

Loki wondered if Heimdall was reliving his death the way Loki had. He wondered if he should ask Heimdall if he was alright. Loki wasn’t good at that sort of conversation, but he felt close to Heimdall just now. They had both fought here. They had both died here.

“Are you alright,” Heimdall asked before Loki got the chance.

“It is so strange to be here, where...” Loki trailed off.

“Yes, it is. But we should be proud of ourselves. Despite what happened here, we found our way back to the realms of the living so that we can keep fighting. We passed through the walls of Valhalla. What an accomplishment that is. It is unheard of. And we could not have done it without you, Loki.”

Loki wanted to be proud of himself - he had certainly worked very hard to get here - but he could only think of all the harm he had done throughout his life. For the first time it truly sank in that nothing he could ever do would make up for his sins. It didn’t matter if he was resurrected permanently by the end of this, it didn’t matter how much time he had in the realms of the living, or how hard he tried, or how much he helped. It didn’t matter how many lives he saved. No matter what, the past could not be undone. 

“Are you alright?” he asked Heimdall, in part because he cared and in part because he didn’t want to think about his own feelings any further.

Heimdall didn’t reply. Loki wondered if he should say something else. He wasn’t sure how to be helpful, though he wanted to be. The silence continued, and Loki began to wish he hadn’t asked in the first place.

Then Heimdall turned his head and gave Loki a smile which was likely meant to be reassuring but was actually deeply concerning.

“Let us make Bifrost,” Heimdall said, “and, this time, it shall bring us to Midgard at long last.” 

“To Thor at long last,” Loki added softly. 

~

“Wait, wait, wait, Sweetpea, can you just fix up my robe for me first?” 

Amused, Loki stepped forward and used his magic to return the Grandmaster’s outfit to its former glory, the blood stains fading away. Loki realized that his own clothes were equally bloodied, and he used his magic to rectify this as well.

Heimdall cleared his throat. Loki and the Grandmaster turned toward him. 

“Mjolnir, are you ready?” Heimdall asked, then seemed to recall that Mjolnir had no voice to use in the realms of the living. Heimdall appeared embarrassed, and he cleared his throat again. 

“Loki,” Heimdall said, “you must hold Mjolnir. I require a free hand to cast the Bifrost.”

Loki stepped back as far as he could in the small space. He wasn’t scared of the darkness that had been raised in Mjolnir. He was afraid that he would not be able to pick Mjolnir up. That he was still unworthy after all. That he never belonged in Valhalla.

“Loki,” Heimdall said firmly, and he held Mjolnir out for Loki to take. 

Loki brought his hand to Mjolnir as though the touch might burn. He found that it didn’t. He wrapped his fingers around Mjolnir’s helve and took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for the worst.

But he lifted Mjolnir with ease.

Loki did a quick double blink as he stared at Mjolnir in his hand. He felt guilty. Thor should be having this moment.

“Hold Mjolnir upright, use both hands,” Heimdall instructed as he pulled the vial containing the essence of Hofund from the leather pouch at his hip. “Keep your grip firm,” he added to Loki in a near whisper.

“Mjolnir,” Heimdall spoke gently, “it is time.”

At once, green smoke began to fill the pod. The smoke was not thin, and the process was not gradual. It billowed from Mjolnir in all directions, aggressive and smothering. Loki and Heimdall both coughed as the smoke, heavy with dark magic, crept into their lungs.

Through the smoke Loki could just barely see Heimdall raise his arm and somehow grasp a handful of the intangible substance. Heimdall’s body began to rock back and forth in a slow rhythm as he chanted words which were foreign to Loki and were spoken too quietly and quickly to be deciphered. After what seemed like a long time the smoke hardened in Heimdall’s hand, forming a small shard of black metal. He placed the vial containing Hofund’s essence in his palm next to the shard, clasping them beside one another in his hand.

“I have enough dark magic now, Mjolnir,” Heimdall announced, “you can stop.” They waited, but the smoke did not thin. Loki and Heimdall exchanged concerned glances.

“Mjolnir?” Loki inquired gingerly. The dark magic surrounding them showed no indication of change. In fact, Loki wondered if the smoke had thickened because he had to cough a few more times. 

“We must go,” Heimdall said after a series of long, tense moments, “this piece of dark magic will soon escape my grasp and retreat into Mjolnir. We will have to start all over again if I do not cast Bifrost soon.”

Loki nodded, and Heimdall extended his arm and took a deep breath to ready himself, but coughed from the smoke. Loki watched his face, which appeared pained and frightened. Heimdall’s body gave a shudder as the dark magic rolled through him, and then the stream of rainbow light shot from his hand. Without breaking the pod, the powerful Bifrost passed easily through the metal wall and stretched off into the space beyond.

“Well done,” Loki complimented him. Heimdall replied only with a look of exhaustion.

“Go,” he said urgently, “all of you. I shall follow.” Loki dove into the Bifrost, Mjolnir in his hand. 

“Whee!” yelled the Grandmaster in delight as he leapt in after Loki.

Inside Bifrost it was too bright, and the sensation was unpleasant, yet the experience was comforting in its familiarity. Loki held Mjolnir tightly to his chest as Bifrost’s power forcefully drew up the air around them, sucking them toward their destination. Looking down, Loki was relieved to see that Heimdall was with them, being pulled along below the grinning Grandmaster.

And there, in the glaring multi-colored light of the Bifrost, on his way to help his brother save the universe, it hit Loki that this was actually happening. It was not just a game, or an unattainable fantasy cooked up by Heimdall’s unwarranted optimism. This was real. They had fought their way to a second chance.


	7. Like Kevin Bacon?

Loki dodged the bottle and it flew past him and shattered against the wall, golden brown liquid spilling onto the already stained carpet. It splattered onto the Grandmaster’s robe and he shook the fabric and made a displeased sound.

“Be gone, phantoms,” Thor slurred. He threw another bottle of alcohol at them. 

“Brother,” Loki said, his heart breaking at the sight. The shabby hotel room was littered with emptied bottles, and Thor was lying on the floor between two narrow beds. Beside him was a row of full bottles, awaiting his attention. Loki knelt beside him. “Brother, it’s me, it’s Loki, I’m here.” He reached to take Thor’s hand, wanting to prove that he was corporeal. 

“No,” Thor bellowed, jerking away, “my brother is dead, everyone is dead,” he screamed, “you aren’t real.” He looked behind Loki to where the others waited. His eyes met Heimdall’s and then fell to Mjolnir, now smokeless in Heimdall’s hand. Thor didn’t seem to notice the Grandmaster.

“Why must you taunt me?” Thor asked, his voice breaking, and Loki reached for him again. 

“We are real,” Loki spoke firmly and gripped Thor’s upper arm tightly, “can you feel this?”

Thor looked down at Loki’s hand, his tear-stained face perplexed. Loki noticed that Thor had somehow gotten a new eye, but this was not the time to inquire about that.

“Am I dead too?” Thor asked, “is this Hel?”

“No,” Loki said softly, “we are in Midgard. Heimdall and Mjolnir and I have come from Valhalla to help you defeat Thanos.”

Thor laughed loudly - a forced strangled laugh, bizarre and startling. It was painful to hear, and Loki thought he would have given anything to hear his brother laugh in earnest, to hear that hearty, pure, joyful sound. 

“Come, sit,” Loki said, and he hauled Thor up and sat him down on the firm, scratchy sofa. Thor let himself be moved and waited, watching as Loki fetched him a glass of water.

“Drink this,” Loki instructed, then found a washcloth in the cramped bathroom and wet it with warm water. When he returned, he found that Thor had drunk the whole glass of water. A drunk Thor was not usually a compliant Thor, which meant it was sorrow that had beaten the stubbornness from him. 

“Let me clean you up a bit, brother,” Loki said as he took the glass from Thor and set it down. Thor clearly needed a shower and some fresh clothes, but this would have to do for the moment. Thor held still as Loki used the washcloth on his mouth and cheeks. He closed his bloodshot eyes. Gently, Loki wiped over his eyelids, and Thor sobbed suddenly and reached for him.

“Loki,” he wailed, hugging him tightly, “Loki, I do not understand.” He was weeping now, and Loki held him.

“It is very complicated, brother,” he replied, “why don’t we work on getting you sober, and then we can all talk about it.” Loki pet Thor’s unkempt hair, which had grown out some since Loki had seen him last. Thor buried his face in Loki’s neck and held onto him like he thought Loki might slip away at any moment. 

“Alright,” Thor agreed, his voice muffled, and then he passed out in Loki’s arms.

~

Loki was very cross to be lying on a stiff Midgardian hotel mattress with bedding of questionable cleanliness. It was clear, though, that Thor needed sleep, and Heimdall had convinced Loki that the same would benefit them all. Loki had noticed that Heimdall still appeared weary from using dark magic when he cast Bifrost. Loki, however, still felt healthy and energized after being healed by the second Orb, and it was difficult to sleep.

“Can’t sleep either, huh?” the Grandmaster whispered. Loki rolled over to find the Grandmaster’s face very close to his. Loki sat up.

“How about a walk?” the Grandmaster asked quietly, and Loki nodded. They silently made their way out of the room, careful not to wake Thor, who was sprawled out on the other bed, or Heimdall, who was curled up on the sofa. 

“So, this is Miss-rad?” the Grandmaster asked as soon as they were in the hall.

“Midgard, also called Earth, and yes. Your first time here, I take it?”

The Grandmaster paused, bringing his finger to his lips in thought.

“Hmm, you know, I’ve been a lot of places and I kind of lose track. But I don’t remember this one,” he shrugged, “show me around?” he added with a wink.

Loki chuckled. He did enjoy the attention the Grandmaster paid him. Outside of the building Loki found they were in a run-down urban area. He sighed and walked the Grandmaster until he found a very small, but empty, playground. 

“Ooh,” said the Grandmaster as he rushed to the swings, “I know what these are,” he said with delight. He sat down on one and motioned for Loki to sit on the swing beside him. Loki didn’t move at first.

“Come on, come on, come on,” the Grandmaster said impatiently, “we can have a race.”

Loki gave a small smile and sat on the swing beside the Grandmaster.

“You go on,” Loki said, “I’ll just watch.”

“Aw,” said the Grandmaster with disappointment, “okay.” He began to pump his legs and soon he was swinging as high as possible.

“Hey,” he shouted after a while, “how do you make these things fly? I can’t find the release button.” 

“They don’t fly, Grandmaster.”

The Grandmaster stopped the motion of his swing, digging his sandals into the soil and pouting.

“Well that’s a lot less fun.”

“There’s some more toys over there,” Loki said, gesturing to the jungle gym.

“No,” the Grandmaster said, “talk to me.”

“About what,” Loki sighed.

“I don’t know,” the Grandmaster replied, suddenly looking down, “seems like the plan is going well, I mean we got here and everything, but, but, you – you look sad anyways, and maybe it’s because of how your brother is doing, or maybe it’s something else, or maybe it’s a lot of things – but I know you’re sad and I guess, well, uh, I guess it makes me sad too.” He glanced at Loki, then looked away and Loki thought it was the first time he had ever seen the Grandmaster appear vulnerable. It made Loki want to open up to him. But he didn’t know where to begin.

“I,” Loki tried, “I am experiencing a lot of guilt over,” he paused, and the list of his mistakes scrolled endlessly in his mind, “over many things.”

“Oh,” the Grandmaster said, “that whole thing.” 

“It is not something you have ever experienced?” Loki asked him.

The Grandmaster shrugged, saying nothing. They sat in silence for a long time, but Loki found the silence to be comfortable.

“I used to,” the Grandmaster said finally, “I used to be guilty.”

“How did you escape it?”

“I guess, I guess it’s like,” the Grandmaster paused, staring off into the distance, “it’s like somewhere along the way I started just, uh, putting it away, kind of like boxing it all up and burning it, or crushing it into dust. There was too much and it’s like, gotta’ clear it out, make it gone. Poof!” he gestured with both hands as he spoke, “and then eventually I learned to reject new guilt whenever it tried to come at me, learned to just not let it in at all, just make myself forget that I’m hurting anyone.”

“And that works?”

The question was met with more silence. After a while the Grandmaster started swinging again. Loki stared at the sky. There was too much ambient light to see any stars. It looked like nothingness, like the absence of all that ever was. Loki peered into the unnerving blackness for a long time, listening to the creak of the Grandmaster’s swing and wallowing in thoughts of all he disdained about himself.

But eventually the sun began to rise.

~

“What in Hel is he doing here?” Thor asked with outrage. He was showered and sober now, looking at the Grandmaster with rage.

“Brother,” Loki said gingerly, “the Grandmaster is helping us. I know there is a negative past between you two, but for the good of the universe -”

“You can’t be serious, Loki,” Thor interrupted, “do you not recall what this,” he gestured to the Grandmaster, looking disgusted, “this _being_ did to me? Bought me as though I were livestock, imprisoned me -”

“Hey, hey, hey,” the Grandmaster interjected, “look here, Sparkles -”

Loki put up a hand to silence him.

“What if you both agree to put that all behind you. Brother, the stakes are very high.”

“I was winning that fight,” Thor yelled, pointing a finger accusatorily at the Grandmaster, “I was winning, and you know it,” he bellowed.

The Grandmaster laughed, and Loki bent his head and sighed in frustration, bringing a hand to his forehead. 

“Grandmaster,” Loki tried, “perhaps if you would admit that Thor’s fight with the Hulk was -” Loki tried to think of the most diplomatic way to say it.

“Fixed,” Thor finished the sentence for him “it was fixed. Say it, you monster,” he said to the Grandmaster, “admit it was fixed. Admit I was winning, say it, now, I would have won, and you know it.” Thor gritted his teeth. The Grandmaster only grinned at him.

“My King,” Heimdall said, stepping forward, “could we not put aside this matter?”

Thor threw the cup of coffee he was holding and growled, then turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Heimdall and Loki sighed in unison.

“I shall go after him,” Loki said, and Heimdall nodded, then glanced to the Grandmaster with a weary look. Loki gave an apologetic smile for leaving Heimdall to entertain the Grandmaster, but once he was out in the hall Loki’s smile turned amused.

He found Thor sitting on the edge of the hotel pool with his feet in the water. A soft, steady rain was falling from the grey clouds above, though the sky had been clear a short time ago. Loki took off his own shoes and socks, carefully rolled up the edges of his pants and sat beside Thor.

“Sometimes when I see pools - these fake little Midgardian lakes - it makes me think of home. Of being at Skoa River. Do you remember how we used to swim and play?”

“Of course I remember, brother.”

“And now it’s gone.”

Loki nodded.

“Just like everything, everyone,” Thor said, his voice sounding far away.

“Tell me what happened,” Loki asked.

“We kept fighting,” Thor replied bitterly, “like heroes are supposed to. After Thanos acquired all the Infinity Stones, those of us who remained of the Avengers, we took the fight to him. We told him the Infinity War, it is not over, we said, we are not going to let you win, we told him.” Thor’s voice shook, and Loki knew he was fighting tears.

“We went for the Time Stone. We were going to undo it. But we never had a chance. It was so easy for him. We are nothing to him, merely gnats to squash. Just like anyone who opposes him, like anyone who refuses to follow his decrees.”

“And,” Loki asked gently, “you were the only Avenger to survive?”

“Thanos let me live,” Thor revealed after a nod so sad Loki felt Thor’s pain in his own heart, “he said it was my reward for being the one to come closest to defeating him, when I attacked him with Stormbreaker.”

Loki didn’t know who or what Stormbreaker was, but he didn’t interrupt to ask.

“He said his prize for surviving my attack was to take Stormbreaker for his own, and that my prize for such a valiant effort was to live. But it is not a prize. It is a punishment. He is punishing me.”

“Brother, I am so sorry,” Loki said in what he very much hoped was a comforting tone.

“He wanted me to suffer, all alone,” Thor continued, “he wanted me living and knowing how I failed them all. Knowing they are dead because I couldn’t save them. Knowing that the planet I swore to protect is his to do with as he sees fit. That all the planets, they are all his, everything is his. And I am alone. And I am nothing. No hero, no hero. That is the lesson he has given me.”

Loki tried to think of what to say. He was outside of his wheelhouse, but he wanted to be there for Thor.

“You are not alone anymore,” Loki reassured him, “and, brother,” he added in a voice that was so earnest it appeared to startle them both, “I still think you are a hero.”

Thor wiped away a tear that had escaped his blue eye. He peered at Loki’s face.

“Brother,” Loki struggled to think how to express himself, “I am trying now, to be better, to be a…” he trailed off because he couldn’t bear to say the word aloud in reference to himself, “and when I try and think, try and know how to be that way,” he paused, “most often it is you I think of.”

Thor looked at him for a long time, as though he was searching for signs of dishonesty on Loki’s face and finding none.

“Well then,” Thor finally said with a small smile, “I guess we better go back inside so I can get caught up on the plan.”

~

“Let us give them some time alone,” Heimdall told Loki. They stepped out of the room, Loki leading the Grandmaster along with them, and left Thor and Mjolnir to communicate in private.

“I can only imagine how much this must pain him,” Heimdall said sadly, “being reunited with Mjolnir only to see Mjolnir’s Bond to Hela resurfaced.”

“It must be very painful for both of them,” Loki agreed. He was worrying about what would happen if he couldn’t change Mjolnir back. He was thinking of all the sorrow he would be causing both of them.

“So, we have some time to kill, yeah?” the Grandmaster asked, “because I am so so hungry. And I am just _dying_ to see what the food’s like here. Let’s go out to a restaurant! Oh, do they have those here?”

“No,” Heimdall replied firmly, “yes, they have them but no, we cannot go. We should be available for Thor.”

The Grandmaster gave a put-upon sigh and dramatically tipped his head backward in a gesture of frustration. 

“But I’m _hungry_ ,” he whined.

“Fine,” Heimdall replied curtly, “Thor has given me some Midgardian coins, I will show you how to use one of their food vending machines.”

“Ooh,” exclaimed the Grandmaster as he bounced down the hall behind Heimdall.

Loki sat on the rough hotel carpet, leaning his back against the wall. He had seen a lobby with couches, and he considered going there, but then he thought of Thor opening the door and finding no one to support him. He would probably be crying and Heimdall would still be stuck at the vending machines, waiting for the Grandmaster to make his selection. Loki resolved to stay in the hall and wait for his brother.

There was no one in sight so Loki decided to entertain himself with his magic. He cast designs in the space in front of him. Colorful shapes, patterns, and images were created by the movements of his hand, then faded into nothingness when he was through with them. A twirl of red turned into a small snake. It slithered through the air and landed on Loki’s knee, where it curled up and settled comfortably onto the leather of his pants. The snake wasn’t corporeal, but Loki used a finger to pet the space where its head was. 

“Loki,” Heimdall said disapprovingly as he approached, “you should be saving your magical energy for the battle ahead.”

“Uh oh, fun police,” the Grandmaster said to Loki in a loud false whisper as he pointed to Heimdall. Loki chuckled and waved his hand. The snake disappeared. 

“What did you get, Grandmaster?” Loki asked. The Grandmaster’s arms were brimming with the spoils of his vending machine conquest.

“Oh Sweetpea, you have to see this stuff,” he gleefully dumped it all onto the floor, knelt beside Loki, and started to sort through it.

“Look, look, just look at this one, it’s blue and -”

He stopped talking because dark green smoke was beginning to creep out from under the hotel room door. 

“Thor,” Loki called out with concern as he burst into the room, the others following behind him. The smoke was made of dark magic, heavy and suffocating, and it came at them so forcefully that the still kneeling Grandmaster was knocked off balance. Loki and Heimdall coughed deeply. 

“Thor,” Loki called again, straining to breathe, “brother?” 

Loki couldn’t see anything through the thick smoke.

“I found him,” Heimdall yelled, and Loki followed his voice to the corner of the room, where Thor was lying unconscious. He was still holding Mjolnir, and his hand was bloodied at the point of contact. Loki stooped down and tried to uncurl Thor’s fingers from Mjolnir’s haft, but they wouldn’t budge. 

“What happened?” the Grandmaster asked.

“Thor,” Loki called as he tried to revive his brother, “Thor,” he repeated with fearful urgency, but Thor did not wake for another three hours.

~

“Our entire plan rests on Mjolnir and Thor’s telepathic connection. If they are not in sync, then Thor will not be able to channel the power of his clairvoyance for our purposes. And we are doomed.”

“How defeatist of you, Heimdall,” Loki replied. 

Heimdall gave him a sidelong glance, no doubt noticing the reversal of their usual roles. Loki found the experience strange as well, but he also found it pleasant to be the one with faith in their success. He wondered how long it would last.

“What do you suggest?” Heimdall asked anxiously, “the dark magic of Mjolnir’s Bond to Hela must remain accessible so that Thanos will be able to lift Mjolnir. Yet that dark magic is interfering with Mjolnir’s Bond to Thor, without which it shall not matter if Thanos picks Mjolnir up.”

“Well,” Loki began, “since you and I can still lift Mjolnir, there is no question that the ethical definition of Worthiness still exists there. And that Worthiness is tied to Thor’s Bond. So, we know the Bond is still in place.”

“And yet when Thor took Mjolnir into his hand metal shards pierced his flesh and he fell out of consciousness. Why?” Heimdall asked.

“Contrary to what I may have implied in the past,” Loki told him wryly, “I do not have all the answers. But I have some thoughts on the matter.”

“Well?” Heimdall said impatiently after Loki paused.

“Mjolnir was not made to be Bonded to more than one at a time, and this conflict is making itself known. I believe the dark magic is fighting Mjolnir’s Bond with Thor because it is not compatible with Mjolnir’s Bond to Hela, which we have activated.”

“This was not supposed to happen,” Heimdall said with hushed sorrow.

The bathroom door opened, and they turned to see Thor emerging, a white blood-stained towel around his hand.

“Did you wash it? Why is it still bleeding so much?” Loki asked. He moved to Thor and unwrapped the towel. The flesh hadn’t appeared to mend itself at all, and the amount of blood that came from the wounds was deeply concerning.

“These are no normal wounds,” Loki said, and everything felt bleak. The faith hadn’t lasted long after all. “There is dark magic in these wounds. They will not heal on their own.”

Heimdall looked stricken. Thor was staring silently at his bleeding hand. His face was unreadable, which was unusual enough for him that Loki was flooded with sympathy. To Thor it must feel as though his beloved companion of over a thousand years, lost to him and then resurrected, had betrayed him.

“Oh, hey,” said the Grandmaster excitedly, “I know! Why don’t we just pop him into the second Orb for a bit, hmm? Should heal him right up like it did you, right, Sweetpea?” He looked very pleased with himself for the idea.

Thor’s head shot up on the word ‘Sweetpea,’ and he scowled at the Grandmaster. 

“I am not getting into one of your vile contraptions, you lunatic,” Thor nearly growled.

“Brother,” Loki said, “I have been inside the Orb. It is unpleasant, I admit, but it healed me when I was also suffering a magically enhanced injury.”

“Injur _ies_ ,” the Grandmaster elaborated, “he was so beat up, Sparkles, it was so bad -”

“Do not call me that,” Thor yelled.

“Isn’t that your name?” the Grandmaster asked, tilting his head and appearing legitimately confused.

Thor looked like he was about to tackle the Grandmaster and punch him in the face repeatedly, so Loki stepped in front of his brother.

“Thor, listen,” Loki told him “keep in mind what is at stake here. The Grandmaster has been helping us on this quest for some time now. We would not have gotten to you without him, and without the Orb.”

“How can you ask me to trust this monster? To allow him to imprison me _again_?” Thor bellowed.

“I don’t ask you to trust him. Only to trust me when I assure you that I will be right here to make certain you are not held captive or harmed in any way.”

It was a risky thing to say, because in the past Loki had given Thor only a handful of reasons to trust him, and far more reasons not to. In the silence that followed, Loki started to wish he hadn’t said it. He realized he could have instead told Thor to trust Heimdall to keep him safe. Why hadn’t he said that, Loki chided himself, he should have said that.

“Alright, brother,” Thor said at last, “if you are sure it is safe.” 

Loki smiled with relief that Thor would soon be healed, and with elation that his brother was willing to trust him.

~

Thor was cranky when he emerged from the second Orb.

“That was terrible,” he grumbled, looking down at his re-formed body. 

“Let me see your hand,” Loki said, grabbing it. To his great comfort, the wounds were now fully healed. “He is well,” Loki told Heimdall.

“Thank the Great Allfathers,” Heimdall murmured.

How strange all the Asgardian prayers sounded to Loki after his encounters with the Great Allfathers. It was only now dawning on Loki what an astounding accomplishment it had been to best the Great Allfathers themselves. He was looking forward to telling Thor about it in great detail when all this was over.

“Uh, ‘thank the _Grandmaster_ ,’ is what you meant, right?” the Grandmaster objected, “I think, yeah, that’s what you must have meant,” he gave an exaggerated nod of his head, “and, uh, you’re welcome,” he added pointedly.

“Thank you very much for the use of your ingenious Orb, Grandmaster,” Loki hurried to say before Thor got the chance to start a conflict.

“You’re welcome,” the Grandmaster replied with chipper satisfaction.

Loki saw Thor and Heimdall exchange glances of exasperation, but the Grandmaster didn’t seem to notice.

“What do we do now?” Thor asked Loki. His voice was tinged with desperation, his expression raw and fearful. “Can you save Mjolnir with your magic?”

“I hope so, brother,” Loki said gently. He moved to the small, weathered desk in the corner of the room. Mjolnir lay on the desktop, a protective spell containing the green smoke that had never thinned. The smoke filled the invisible bubble around Mjolnir, who could just barely be seen.

“Mjolnir,” Loki said cautiously, “I want to help you. But I need you to let me. I cannot do this without removing the warding.”

Nothing happened, and Loki turned to look at Thor. 

“You try,” he said softly.

Loki knew now that Thor didn’t need to speak aloud to communicate with Mjolnir, yet Thor did so this time, presumably for the benefit of the rest of them.

“Mjolnir,” he began, his voice already breaking, “I have missed you,” he paused, swallowing hard, “and I am inspired by your noble actions, the burden of dark magic you have taken on for the sake of the universe. You are a true hero, my friend -” he stopped abruptly for a moment, and Loki could tell it was so that he wouldn’t cry, “please, Mjolnir, come back to me.”

After a stretch of tense silence, the dark magic was drawn back into Mjolnir, the smoke disappearing. 

“Thank you,” Thor breathed. Loki removed the protective barrier and Thor reached out for Mjolnir at once.

“Wait, brother,” Loki said, catching Thor’s hand, “not yet.” 

“Mjolnir,” Loki said, revealing the first Orb, which held the sample of Mjolnir’s previous state, “I am going to transfer a minuscule amount of what we have saved from before and -” Loki paused to think out his phrasing, afraid that saying the wrong thing would trigger Mjolnir to lose control of the dark magic, “the hope is that I can give you back just enough of your true essence to help you keep the dark magic in check, while still saving enough for our original purpose. We only have a small sample to start, however, and so we must spare as little as possible. I expect this will not be easy, for either of us.”

“I believe in you both,” Thor said earnestly. He was silent for many moments, his eyes focused intently on Mjolnir, and Loki could tell they were communicating telepathically. He wondered what words Thor had decided to keep private.

“Mjolnir is ready,” Thor said eventually.

~

_Loki recognized Hela’s laugh._

_“Mjolnir?” he called._

_“Loki,” he heard Mjolnir’s voice reply. It was the voice Mjolnir had used in Valhalla. But Loki quickly remembered that was not where he was. It was only an energetic replica of the only voice Mjolnir had ever known._

_“Loki, where are you?” Mjolnir asked, sounding panicked._

_“Mjolnir, I am inside your aura. Do not worry. I know what to do.”_

_“Oh, you do, do you?” Hela’s voice asked, amused._

_Loki peered all around himself, but all he could see was what looked like a white fog, stretching out endlessly. The fog was littered with an array of metal weapons, and they drifted ominously above, below, and around where Loki floated._

_“Show yourself,” he yelled._

_This was met with laughter._

_“She cannot,” Mjolnir said with relief, “she is not here, it is just the remnant of her, in the dark magic.”_

_“You think I’m not here?” Hela’s disembodied voice asked, then laughed, “you are in for a treat.”_

_“You are not here,” Loki said angrily, a little afraid that she somehow was, “you are in Hel. This is just a manifestation of the dark magic you left behind. It is trying to take over but, let me tell you, sister, it shall not succeed.”_

_“Oh, brother,” she laughed, “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”_

_“I am afraid, Loki,” Mjolnir whispered, “she made me hurt Thor.”_

_“Do not fear,” Loki said with assurance, “I am going to help you.” He opened his clenched fist and found the first Orb, which contained the sample of Mjolnir’s essence. “When I open it, your essence will attempt to return to you - it will rush at you, drawn to you like a magnet, instinctively desiring to be where it belongs - but we can only allow a small amount to take hold. If it is all absorbed into you, we will have no fail-safe for later on, in case,” he swallowed, “in case my spell cannot return you to your former state.”_

_He paused to see if Mjolnir had any questions, but all he heard was Hela’s laughter echoing in the distance._

_“Are you ready, Mjolnir?” Loki asked._

_“Yes.”_

_Loki entered the code that the Grandmaster had given him, and the first Orb opened. He covered the opening to catch Mjolnir’s essence as it fled, using his magic to contain it against his palm. It stretched into slivers of white light that slipped through the spaces between his fingers, straining to settle inside Mjolnir. Loki used both hands to smother it._

_When it had calmed sufficiently, he opened a crack between his fingers. It was a narrow passage and the essence streamed out in a sharp, thin line. Loki let it flow for a particularly calculated number of seconds, then pinched his fingers together, cutting it off, with some struggle._

_“Pathetic,” Hela’s voice announced, and a number of the various weapons around Loki turned toward him. He ducked, then realized that the weapons were actually aiming for the essence that had radiated from the Orb. A sword sliced in front of it, and the stream of essence was blocked. It reflected back to Loki’s hand and squeezed in between his fingers, this time drawn to return to the Orb and rejoin with the portion of Mjolnir’s essence that remained there._

_“No, no,” Mjolnir cried out._

_“You see?” Hela asked. “Mjolnir is mine again. And all thanks to you, brother.” Loki could hear the smirk in her voice. The weapons began to fly at him._

_“No,” Loki said firmly, trying to hide his doubt. He tucked the first Orb away and deflected the blade that aimed for his forehead. Wave after wave of weapons came at him, and he fought them off well, until one of the daggers finally stabbed into his shoulder._

_It hurt just as much as it would have on his physical body. With a groan of pain Loki pulled it out and tossed it aside. He murmured a healing incantation to try and stop the bleeding, knowing that the dark magic inside the wound would prevent the blood from clotting naturally._

_But then an ax was flying at his stomach, and when Loki moved to dodge it, he put himself in the path of a large knife. He saw it pierce his chest before he felt it._

_“Loki,” Mjolnir cried out with concern._

_“It will be alright,” Loki coughed as blood filled his mouth._

_“What do I do?” Mjolnir asked._

_“I will try to come closer to the core of your aura. That will give the essence a shorter distance to travel. You must remain entirely open so that it can reach you faster than Hela – or rather, faster than the dark magic acting as Hela – can stop it.  
But the essence being released closer to your core means that it will try that much harder to reunite with you in full. I will not be able to stop the stream on my own this time. You will have to reject it once you have had enough, you will have to close your gates at once, immediately, so that enough will be drawn back into the Orb to save for later. It will be tricky. You will be fighting your instinct, and you must be precise.”_

_“How will I know when to close myself off?”_

_“I will signal y -”_

_Loki stopped abruptly as a spear plunged into his side. He coughed more blood, and it spattered onto his chest. He ignored the pain and pushed his body through the space toward the spot where he could sense the core of Mjolnir’s aura. It glowed with white light, bright and distant. The weapons came at him like gusts of forceful wind, and he shielded himself the best he could. They bombarded him faster than he could perform additional healing magic, so he let himself bleed. The more weapons made contact the more his body tried to disobey him. It wanted to give in, it was cut and bleeding in too many places now. But Loki had decided to play the odds that he couldn’t die again._

_He made it to the core. He opened the first Orb._

_“Stop, stop it,” screeched Hela’s voice, “how dare you -”_

_“Now,” Loki struggled to yell, “Mjolnir, now -”_


	8. I’ve Been Having These Terrible Dreams Of Late

“Good thing we have the second Orb, huh?” the Grandmaster was saying, “all better?”

Loki nodded, gradually regaining his composure after re-forming. 

“Is Mjolnir alright?” he asked.

“Yes, brother,” Thor spoke, and Loki turned to see him sitting on the other bed, grinning and holding Mjolnir comfortably in his hand. There was no blood, or green smoke. All appeared well, though Loki knew that Mjolnir was fighting a constant battle within to keep the scale tipped in Thor’s direction. “Thanks to you,” Thor added, and he flipped Mjolnir in his hand, tossing and catching in one fluid motion.

“I am relieved,” Loki replied.

“As are we all,” Heimdall said, “well done, Loki and Mjolnir.”

“So, come on, what’s next, what’s next?” asked the Grandmaster impatiently, rubbing his hands together, “when do we get to squash that big ugly grape? I haven’t gotten to use my Melt Stick in _forever_ ,” he whined.

“I will be the one to kill him,” Thor announced darkly.

Loki also wanted to be the one to murder Thanos. He didn’t say anything, but in his mind, he began to plan precisely how he would beat out everyone else and do it first.

“The important part is that he be defeated,” Heimdall lectured, “it matters not who strikes the fatal blow. We are working together. We must keep that in mind.”

Thor scowled at the Grandmaster, who grinned and waved at him in reply. This made Thor glare even more aggressively and Loki had to stifle a laugh.

“Working together means we will all have a hand in his ultimate defeat,” Heimdall assured the group. “My King,” he said, turning to Thor, “now that you and Mjolnir have stabilized your connection, I believe that you should practice using the telepathic function of your Bond to wield your clairvoyance. The magic that fuels clairvoyant abilities can be channeled toward a number of different objectives. With proper focus, you should be able to utilize your powers to take control of the Mind Stone once Thanos has lifted Mjolnir.”

“Practice? Ha,” Thor boasted, “I never need practice.”

“Oh,” Heimdall said, “have you been developing your powers of clairvoyance since last we met?”

“Well, no.”

“Have you learned to control them, or have they only manifested in the form of prophetic dreams?”

“Just the nightmares,” Thor admitted, “like I had before Ragnarok and before...” he trailed off, not finishing the sentence. “But you and Loki always said I could do more than that.”

Heimdall nodded.

“Yes, I do believe you can do more, or I would not have created a plan that relied upon your clairvoyant abilities. But skills must be developed, even when one has a natural talent. Clairvoyance is a complex and beautiful power of the mind, which can be used in many ways, which you have yet to discover. We will focus on this one way for now. You must learn to do as I direct. You must practice before we go into such an essential battle. My King,” he added respectfully.

“Ugg, this is taking forever,” complained the Grandmaster.

“Of course, we do not have the Mind Stone to practice with,” continued Heimdall, ignoring the Grandmaster, “but we can create something of a training exercise.”

Thor looked very displeased but didn’t interrupt.

“Loki, if you will,” Heimdall said.

Loki raised his hand and used his energy to create a replica of the Mind Stone. Though he had not meant it to, his copy of the Stone appeared within the blue jewel that had surrounded it when it had been part of the Scepter. It made Loki feel sick to see it. He crushed it in his hand and the blue casing dissolved, revealing what appeared to be the pale yellow Mind Stone. Besides resembling it in appearance, the mind stone Loki had created was an energetic forgery. It held nowhere near the power that an Infinity Stone contained, but it mimicked the format of its magic, which Loki was unfortunately quite familiar with. He handed the reproduction of the Mind Stone to Heimdall.

“Loki,” Heimdall told him as he took it, “why don’t you get some rest while I train with Thor and Mjolnir.”

“I do not need to rest,” Loki replied stubbornly. He was starting to agree with the Grandmaster that this was all taking way too long. The anticipation was maddening. He wanted to see Thanos dead now. 

“Loki, what you did to help Mjolnir – that nearly depleted you. You battled well, and we have yet another great battle just ahead of us. Take rest in between. We all need to be at top form when we face Thanos.”

“The second Orb already healed me,” Loki said crankily, “I am not tired at all.”

“You do not have to sleep then. But relax, take the time, calm your mind, if you are able.”

Loki didn’t say anything. Heimdall sighed. 

Although the second Orb had healed and energized him, Loki did have to admit to himself that his mind could do with a little calming. And he was going to have to wait anyhow, while Thor and Mjolnir worked on developing Thor’s clairvoyance.

“Fine,” Loki said shortly.

“How about a nice walk?” the Grandmaster asked him, “I promise I’ll be calming.” He grinned widely but appeared sincere. Loki nodded and moved toward the hotel room door, the Grandmaster following behind him.

“I shall call to you when you are needed,” Heimdall told Loki.

“Good luck, good luck to you, in your lessons,” the Grandmaster said to the room as he and Loki left. Heimdall appeared to appreciate the sentiment, but Thor only glared.

~

It was day light this time, and the playground Loki and the Grandmaster had sat in before was now occupied by a group of children. It was a small group, but they were very loud. Loki walked past it and continued on in silence. 

“How you doing, Sweetpea?” the Grandmaster asked eventually.

“Fine,” Loki replied, “the second Orb healed me fully, just like before.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then I cannot imagine what you’re referring to,” Loki lied.

“I don’t know, you know, if I was going to face someone who killed me,” he shrugged, “I’d feel a little, uh,” he scrunched his face into a dramatic frown, “you know?”

“I am not afraid of him,” Loki lied again.

“Oh, okay,” the Grandmaster said, clearly not convinced.

“I want to see him dead. I want vengeance, for everything, for everyone, and,” Loki paused, a little surprised at how deeply he felt the words he was about to speak, “I want to make things right.”

“But you can want all that and still be scared.”

“Well, I’m not,” Loki snapped.

The Grandmaster didn’t push it any further. Loki felt badly for snapping at him because he knew the Grandmaster had been trying to help. But Loki also knew that if he said aloud that he was frightened it would be that much harder to convince himself that he wasn’t.

“Are those restaurants?” the Grandmaster asked with delight as he pointed across the street. Loki turned his head to see a shopping plaza and wished he had known the area so that he could have avoided walking the Grandmaster past it. Loki thought about telling the Grandmaster they couldn’t go because Thor hadn’t given them any Midgardian money. But Loki wondered if the Grandmaster would accurately guess that Loki could easily use his magic to create counterfeit currency. Before Loki had time to decide how to handle the situation, the Grandmaster started to run across the street to get to the plaza. Loki grabbed him by the sleeve of his robe.

“Wait, Grandmaster, the cars,” Loki said, then realized he wasn’t sure if the Grandmaster was familiar with cars, “the ground ships,” Loki corrected himself.

“Won’t they just stop for me?” the Grandmaster asked with a tilt of his head.

With an amused smile Loki took them to the crosswalk. The Grandmaster acted very put-upon during the thirty-five seconds they spent waiting for the traffic lights to change in their favor.

“Wo-oooow,” the Grandmaster exclaimed as they entered the plaza, “I want to eat there,” he declared, pointing at a nail salon, “look at that sexy lady on the sign. Do you think she works there?”

“That one isn’t a restaurant, Grandmaster,” Loki explained. He surveyed the rows of buildings that made up the plaza and found that many of the establishments were abandoned. Two restaurants remained though, and Loki chose what appeared to be the least uncivilized of the options. “Here, let’s go to this one,” he told the Grandmaster. 

“Well hello, hello,” the Grandmaster flirted when the hostess came out to seat them.

“Two of you? Right this way,” she directed in a professional tone. The Grandmaster looked at Loki, baffled by her lack of interest. “Your server will be right with you,” she told them before walking away.

The Grandmaster slid into the booth and tested the seat, bouncing up and down, his face curious. He ran his hands over the leather, then examined the battered wood of the table.

“Should I select something for you to eat, Grandmaster, or would you like to choose?” Loki asked, glancing at the menu.

“You pick,” the Grandmaster replied, now eyeing the other patrons of the restaurant with great interest. “Look at their clothes,” he whispered loudly.

The waiter arrived, and the Grandmaster flirted with him too. He wasn’t receptive either and the Grandmaster looked perplexed. Loki ordered for them both. 

“Why is it taking so long?” the Grandmaster asked as they waited for their food to arrive.

“Things can be slow in Midgard,” Loki told him. 

“They should really do something about that,” the Grandmaster said, his face judgmental, “maybe I should shrink tiny and go, uh, pokedy-poke-poke at the cook’s ankles until he goes faster, hmm?” He made a repeated poking motion with his finger and grinned expectantly at Loki, but Loki was not in the mood to feign amusement at the Grandmaster’s words.

“Mm,” Loki replied vaguely. He stared off into the distance.

The Grandmaster forced himself into Loki’s eyeline.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Come on, Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster said, nudging Loki’s hand with his own, “you can talk to me, you know that.”

Loki didn’t say anything.

“So, you’re fine then?” the Grandmaster asked after a time.

“That’s what I said.”

“Okay,” the Grandmaster said in a cheerful tone. He leaned back, his hands folded behind his head. “So, Thanos, huh?” he said abruptly, “guy seems like a real jerk. You, uh, knew him pretty well before he killed you?”

All at once Loki was somewhere else. He was pulled violently into one of his memories, and it was as though it was happening again. It was now, it was real, he could feel it. The table had fallen away, the Grandmaster, the restaurant. None of that existed anymore. Desperately, Loki strained to cling to the knowledge that this was only a memory. It was the past, he repeated to himself, the past and not the present, the past and not the present… Yet he could feel the bonds around his wrists and ankles, he could feel the blade - 

_“Foolish child,” Thanos told him, “what do you fight for?”_

_Loki coughed blood and tried to spit it at Thanos, but he missed, and it hit the floor. Thanos laughed._

_“Tell me,” he said, grabbing Loki’s hair and pulling until Loki had to stretch his neck painfully, “tell me, why do you resist? After all I have done for you? All I have taught you?” Thanos brought his enormous face very close to Loki’s as he spoke, “suddenly you care about every single life? How many would you have killed in your invasion of Earth? How many would have perished in that battle? Many, I expect, however many needed to die for you to get what you wanted. And you would have done it without regret because you had a goal, and those deaths were necessary to achieve that goal.” He paused as if waiting for Loki to agree, then continued, “you see, Asgardian, I have a goal too, and it is a plan far grander than you could ever create. It is born from altruism, I am saving the universe. And you are a petty child wanting a planet of your own to play with. But, I will give it to you, boy. I will make your dream a reality. If only you would stop this resistance.”_

_Loki was silent, and Thanos pushed the blade further into him._

_“Speak,” Thanos commanded, “I want to hear why you suddenly care so much about their lives. Why you suddenly fail to understand that some must be sacrificed for the greater good. I thought you had taken my wisdom to heart, but now it seems you are nothing but a disappointment.”_

_He twisted the knife and Loki groaned in pain, despite his great efforts to remain silent. He didn’t want to give Thanos the satisfaction of hearing how effective his torture was. But it had been going on so long now, and Loki was losing control._

_“Speak,” Thanos ordered again._

_Loki coughed hoarsely, then shook his head._

_“Speak or I will cut out your tongue.”_

“Is he okay?” Loki heard the waiter ask, “want me to see if I can get an ambulance or something?”

“No, no, no, go away,” he heard the Grandmaster reply in a worried tone.

With a sharp inhale, Loki realized where he was. He ran his hands over his body, searching for the wounds Thanos had made, but there were none. They had healed long ago, Loki reminded himself, _long ago, long ago, long ago…_ he repeated in his mind, clinging to the words.

~

As Loki and the Grandmaster walked down the hotel hallway that evening, Loki could hear Thor swearing and the sound of something shattering. 

“There aren’t going to be any cups left for us to use if you keep smashing them, brother,” Loki said gently as he opened the door, a small smile on his lips.

“This is impossible,” Thor bellowed, and he picked up the cup Heimdall had been using and threw it. 

“We are making progress,” Heimdall said to Loki, “but it is slow.”

“I can see that,” Loki replied. Thor glared at him.

“Do you wish to try, brother?” Thor yelled, his tone confrontational, “you think this easy?”

“I think we best stop for the night, Thor,” Heimdall said, “you and Mjolnir need to rest. We can start fresh early tomorrow.”

Thor stood up and stormed out, picking up Mjolnir along the way. He slammed the door behind him and stomped loudly down the hall.

Heimdall looked very tired.

“Maybe you need rest too,” Loki suggested.

Heimdall started to shake his head, then sighed and nodded in agreement.

“I -” Heimdall began, then trailed off.

“You what?” Loki asked, sitting on one of the beds. The Grandmaster sat beside him but remained quiet.

“I have doubts,” Heimdall admitted, shame evident in his voice.

“That Thor can do this? That we can win?”

Heimdall nodded, his face stricken. Loki tried to think what to say. He couldn’t begin to imagine how to give someone back their faith once they had lost it. In lieu of faith, Loki decided to try and bring Heimdall hope.

“Well, we are already here. And if we are going out, we may as well go out fighting.”

Heimdall didn’t reply. Loki realized his attempt had been a failure. 

“Heimdall,” he tried again, “you are the one who brought me hope that we could make things right. Don’t let go of that hope. That is all we can do, is it not? Prepare as best we can, and hope.”

After peering at Loki for a moment, Heimdall gave a small smile. Loki was proud of himself.

“And you,” Heimdall asked, “are you well?”

Loki was angry that everyone kept asking him that.

“It’s terrifying,” he admitted before he could stop himself.

Heimdall nodded.

“For me as well.”

“But I’m glad we are here,” Loki said, surprising himself, “so thank you. For the hope.”

Heimdall looked as surprised as Loki felt. 

“I am going to see about getting a second room in this poor excuse for a dwelling,” Loki said before Heimdall could reply, “I am not crowding in here again, not if I’m meant to get some actual sleep.”

He stood up, moving toward the door, and the Grandmaster followed.

“Loki,” Heimdall said.

“Yes?” Loki replied, turning back to look at him.

“Thank _you_. For the hope.”

Loki was moved by Heimdall’s words, and he hid his face behind his hair.

~

The Grandmaster’s hands on his body felt familiar, only he wasn’t touching Loki quite the way he had when they were on Sakaar. Everything was edged with tenderness now, and it was very odd, and quite lovely.

“Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster was murmuring. Loki kissed his shoulder and the Grandmaster pressed to him. Loki rolled them over so he was on top and tried to puzzle out the Grandmaster’s face as they moved together.

“Missed you,” the Grandmaster said in the final moment, and Loki was stunned into silence at the raw honesty with which he spoke.

~

_Loki heard Thanos’ voice again, but not the words. Mjolnir was there, and had one eye, which was shedding dark green tears. Loki looked closer and saw it was Thor’s blue eye that lay on Mjolnir’s surface. Alarmed, Loki stepped back, and found there was no ground behind him. He fell backwards._

_Loki was inside Bifrost now, and he knew it was taking him somewhere he did not want to go. He called out for Heimdall to bring him home instead. Suddenly he was knocked out of the Bifrost and found himself in Asgard, only it was burning. In the spaces between the curls of flame Loki could see that the ground was littered with the bodies of murdered Asgardians. Hela was there, Mjolnir in her hand, green smoke billowing around them._

_“Thanos,” Hela said to Loki, “come, join me.”_

When he woke up from the nightmare, Loki couldn’t remember where he was. He sat up, groggily, and turned to see the Grandmaster asleep beside him. Loki realized they were in the Midgardian hotel, and all at once recalled the reality of the battle that was drawing near. He wanted to be rested, to be prepared as best he could. He lay back down on the thin mattress and tried to fall asleep. 

_The Warriors Three were whispering to each other from across the banquet table. Hogan and Fandral were casting cruel, amused glances Loki’s way and Volstagg was laughing heartily and pointing at him._

_“May I help you?” Loki said to them sardonically._

_“We just think it’s hilarious,” Fandral explained in a mocking tone, “that you think you can succeed where true heroes have failed.”_

_Loki reached to conjure his daggers, but he found he was a child so small he did not yet know how to conjure. He tried to recall his magic, or how to fight, and realized he had no way to defend himself. And though he could not be seen or heard, Loki knew that Thanos was approaching. In his childhood voice he called out for help, and The Warriors Three laughed._

When Loki awoke this time, he was overtaken by fear, and it took a few hard beats of his heart before he realized he was not a defenseless child. He looked at the clock and saw he had slept a very small amount of time. Part of him couldn’t stand the thought of going back to sleep, but this last nightmare had not only frightened him – it had made him angry, and he used his spite to shove himself back into unconsciousness.

_“Why are you doing this?” Frigga asked him._

_“It’s not because I’m a hero, I can tell you that,” Loki replied._

_“Vengeance? Recognition? To save yourself?”_

_“Yes, all of those,” Loki admitted._

_“Is a pure motive what makes a hero? Is there even such a thing?”_

_“What makes a hero then, please tell me, Mother, please.”_

_She began to fade away, but Loki reached for her, and grasped her hands just in time._

_“Please,” he repeated, “I do not understand.”_

_She touched his cheek and smiled softly, and he felt better._

_“A hero is one who finds the goodness in his heart and listens to it.”_

Loki slept till the morning.

~

Loki tried to provide moral support as Thor worked to use his clairvoyant powers, along with his telepathic connection to Mjolnir, to psychically link to the replica of the Mind Stone. Thor seemed to be getting nowhere, despite the fact that the mind stone Loki had created possessed only a fraction of the power and complexity of the actual Mind Stone. Even if Thor could connect to Loki’s mind stone forgery, he may still be unable to process the intensity of the actual Mind Stone.

And linking to the mind stone via Mjolnir was only the first step in the training process. After he had made the connection, Thor was to use the stone’s power to take control of Heimdall’s mind. But Loki knew that even if Thor should succeed in this trial run, controlling Heimdall’s mind was no guarantee that Thor could control the mind of Thanos himself. 

Positive encouragement wasn’t Loki’s best skill, but he fought the instinct to express his feelings of pessimism and gave it a try.

“You can do this, brother,” he said in a tone more confident than he felt.

Thor gave Loki an appreciative glance before his face returned to its state of frustration. He had been at it since the morning. Loki had sent the Grandmaster to entertain himself at the hotel pool. But now it was late enough in the day that Loki expected the Grandmaster would soon burst into the room demanding dinner.

“Remember,” Heimdall told Thor, “Mjolnir is the tool with which you focus your clairvoyant powers, just as with your lightning powers.”

Thor tried again, then grunted angrily at his failure. He plopped backward onto the bed, stretching out his arms and swearing at the ceiling.

“Perhaps I can help,” Loki suggested. Thor sat up, a questioning expression on his face.

“How? I didn’t think you had clairvoyant powers too, but if you do, please, brother, take over this task,” Thor pleaded, his face pale and desperate, “I hate it, I hate these powers. I have always hated them. I cannot do it,” he looked away, ashamed and perhaps frightened, then turned back and peered into Loki’s eyes. “Please?” Thor added with intensity, hope flashing across his face for an instant. But then Loki shook his head and Thor’s face fell.

“I do not have clairvoyant powers, brother,” he said, “but perhaps I can use my magic to assist you in utilizing yours.”

“How exactly?” asked Heimdall, sounding intrigued.

“I will use the spell which allows me to enter someone’s aura, as I did with Mjolnir. Once I reach his aura’s core, Thor may be able to allow me access to his mind from there.”

“And then you can do it for me, brother?” asked Thor.

“No, I cannot do it for you,” he replied, and Thor looked stricken, “but maybe my magic can help you achieve the goal, if you are able to let me into your mind.”

“Alright,” Thor agreed, taking a deep breath, “what should I do?”

“Lie back down and close your eyes,” Loki instructed. Thor obeyed, and Loki knelt over him. Loki was able to conjure the ingredients he needed for the spell, and soon enough he found himself entering his brother’s aura.


	9. I Thought The World Of You

_Inside Thor’s aura it was dark silver with wispy clouds of bright red. There were sparks of lightening crackling in the space, sometimes stretching into long bolts and forks. Thunder rumbled, but the sound was soft and gentle._

_“Thor?” Loki called, “can you hear me?”_

_“Yes, brother,” Thor’s alarmed voice replied._

_Loki surveyed the space and located the core of Thor’s aura. It was a lot easier to get to it than it had been with Mjolnir’s, since there were no weapons flying at Loki this time._

_“I am at the core now, brother,” Loki informed him, “you must open up your mind to allow me in. The core can act as a passageway into your mind, but you still must open the door.”_

_“How do I open it?”_

_“Let’s try visualization,” Loki replied, “picture a wall all around your mind. Somewhere along the wall there is a door. Find the door. Can you see it?”_

_Thor didn’t say anything for a long time and Loki could feel him straining._

_Then, all at once, a door appeared, floating within the depths of the aura’s core._

_“Well done, brother,” Loki complimented him. Loki tried to approach the door and found it was very far away. He floated himself down the tunnel within the core of Thor’s aura and came at last to the door. As Loki expected, it was locked._

_“Thor,” he began, “can you see the lock on the door?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Envision a key that fits it.”_

_Loki held out his hand and waited as Thor worked. He had done so well with the door that Loki got a little impatient waiting for him to call forth the key. The first key that Thor formed wouldn’t fit into the keyhole at all. The second fit into the hole but would not turn. On Thor’s third try, however, the large silver key that he appeared in Loki’s hand unlocked the door with ease._

_Loki stood in the doorway for a moment, feeling hesitant to enter as it had only just dawned on him how strange it was to be entering his brother’s mind. But he stepped forward._

_“Loki?” Thor said, only it wasn’t Thor. Rather, it wasn’t the Thor Loki had just been talking to. Loki turned his head to see a young-adult Thor, his face curious. Based on his dress, Loki figured this Thor was about three hundred years old. Loki nodded at him with a terse smile and went about his business. He didn’t want to engage with any of Thor’s memories, or explore them. He feared to see how Thor truly viewed him. He feared to learn that his brother remembered the worst of him above all else. As he moved down the long dirt road beneath him, Loki didn’t turn his head in either direction. He knew that memories were being enacted all around him, and that many of them included him, but he resisted. He tried his best to tune out the sounds, but Loki heard his name many times anyhow, and each time he couldn’t help but note whether it was spoken in joy, or anger, or sorrow._

_The memories didn’t matter though. Loki had to find the manifestation of Thor’s clairvoyant powers. His theory was that the power was scattered about, divided too many times over for Thor to harness it. If Loki could unite the pieces, Thor would have a better chance of taking control of the power and using it to influence the mind stone._

_Loki thought he knew a spell that would gather up the spread-out power all at once, and he was very put out to discover that it didn’t work. He had never before had reason to perform a spell while inside someone else’s mind, but he had hoped it would work anyhow. With horror, Loki realized he was instead going to have to search Thor’s brain and locate the pieces one at a time. He had no idea how many pieces there would be. It seemed an impossible task; there was so much ground to cover and Loki wasn’t sure how much time he had before Thor’s mind expelled him._

_But what disturbed Loki more than that was the fact that there would be no way to avoid the memories now. And should he have to explore the other areas of Thor’s mind, he may have to confront his brother’s fantasies as well. What if Thor fantasized about a life without Loki? A version in which Odin had never brought Loki home?_

_“Loki!” a child exclaimed, and Loki looked down to find a small Thor, perhaps seven years old, “come play with me! I have a good game.”_

_Loki couldn’t help but smile fondly. He thought of those times, so long ago, when they were sweet loving children who had no idea of the pain yet to come, nor of the pain that had come before them. Loki knelt, to be at eye level with the small Thor, who was only a memory of a life blind to sorrow._

_“How about we play my game?” Loki asked._

_Young Thor considered this for a moment than grinned and nodded merrily._

_“How do you play?” he asked with excitement._

_“In this game,” Loki explained, “we must gather up pieces of a treasure, a broken treasure that we must put back together.”_

_Thor clapped delightedly._

_“Is there a treasure map?”_

_“No,” Loki said, standing up, “but don’t worry, we can do it.”_

_Thor grinned up at him._

_“What do the pieces look like?”_

_“That is part of the game. We don’t know what they look like. We have to work out what they_ feel _like, with our minds.” He tapped his temple._

_Thor tilted his head._

_“I do not understand,” he said, frowning, “maybe we should play my game.”_

_“Thor,” Loki began, “do you ever have dreams, or nightmares, that come true?”_

_Thor flushed and stepped back._

_“No.”_

_“You needn’t lie,” Loki said gently, “I am not angry. I am glad, because it shows you are very special.”_

_“Because I’m a Prince?” Thor said, sounding unenthused._

_“No,” Loki replied, “because you can do very unique things with your mind. Things that other people cannot do.”_

_“No,” Thor said in a small voice, “I don’t like the nightmares.”_

_“I know,” Loki said sympathetically, “but if you can tell the future with your dreams, that means there is more you can do with your mind besides that. More things to explore and learn. You possess a great power.”_

_“My lightning?”_

_“No,” Loki said, “besides that. Come and show me around this place, and keep your senses open – listen, but not just with your ears, look, but not just with your eyes – search with what you feel inside. If you think there may be something nearby, say so. It doesn’t have to make sense. There doesn’t have to be proof.”_

_Thor nodded and then walked them down the roads that connected the sections of Thor’s mind. Loki tried to focus on the goal: searching for the sensation of power that could mean a piece was near. They walked on, finding nothing._

_Then little Thor started telling Loki stories._

_“…and you know what she said then? Guess, guess!”_

_Loki shushed him with a finger to his own lips._

_“We have to be quiet and pay attention. Remember, the game?”_

_“This game is boring, Loki. Let’s play mine now.”_

_“Let us play this one for a bit longer first.”_

_Thor made a noise of protest and pouted. It was adorable, and Loki gave a nostalgic smile. They walked in silence for a time and Loki could see Thor straining to follow his instructions. His face was very determined, almost fierce, and his tiny hands were clenched into fists. After a long while he stopped, suddenly still._

_“What is it?” Loki asked, “is there something nearby?”_

_Thor nodded and barreled off in another direction, weaving through the crowds of memories playing out around them. Loki rushed to follow._

_“There,” Thor said pointing to the top of a hill. It was a few moments before Loki recognized it as a hill in Asgard they used to play on as children. They climbed to the top and saw it, something small glowing faintly in the grass. Thor ran to it and picked it up, examining it in his palm. He held it up and grinned._

_“I found one,” he said with pride._

_“Yes, well done, brother,” Loki agreed. Thor handed him the piece. It was a long oval, its center cracked and its edges uneven. It felt light in Loki’s hand, though its appearance resembled that of a rock. The color was a dull red, and the light dimmed and flared in what Loki thought might be a pattern._

_“Come on, brother,” Thor said with glee, “I think I know where the next one is!”_

_Little Thor found nine pieces this way, his face beaming after each discovery. But then he halted, and his face grew dark._

_“What is it, Thor,” Loki asked, though he had a guess._

_“I am not going in there,” he said, pointing to a memory shrouded in a dim bubble._

_Loki stepped forward and peered into the memory, finding what he expected. Thanos was dangling Loki’s lifeless body in front of a mournful Thor. Loki turned away._

_“There is a piece in there,” the child Thor said in a whisper, “I think it might be the last one, but I am not going. The memories with the dark around them – those ones are bad. I -” he paused and stared intently at Loki’s face, “I know this one. From,” he flushed, then went suddenly pale, “from my nightmares. I am not going inside,” he shook his head vigorously, his blonde locks swaying, “no, no, Loki, please, I cannot see it again.”_

_Loki nodded compassionately and lay his hand on Thor’s head for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and stepped into the ominous bubble, leaving little Thor behind._

~

_“No resurrections this time,” Thanos was saying to a modern age Thor._

_Thor was crying over Loki’s limp body, but then he raised his head and caught sight of the real Loki, who had forgotten to hide._

_“Loki,” Thor exclaimed, and rushed to hug him, nearly knocking Loki over with his enthusiasm. Loki hesitated - this wasn’t really Thor - or perhaps it was, in a way, and eventually the warm sincerity of Thor’s hug drew Loki to return the embrace._

_After Loki pulled away, Thor turned back and looked at the Loki that lay dead, the Loki of the memory._

_“I do not understand,” Thor told Loki, his tears still falling freely._

_“It will be alright, brother,” Loki said, “I’m here,” and he pulled him into another hug._

_“Take me from this place, Loki,” Thor begged, leaning his head on his brother’s shoulder, “it just keeps happening, over and over.” His voice was breaking as he struggled to speak through his sobs._

_“I am here to help you,” Loki said, petting Thor’s hair, “but I need your help too.”_

_Loki explained the situation, or as much of it as he felt this particular memory of Thor needed to know. It didn’t surprise Loki to find that Thor was immediately resistant to the idea of utilizing his clairvoyance. His face was still tear-stained, but his expression grew defensive._

_“We have been over this, brother,” Thor snapped at him, “the nightmares are not a power, they are a curse.”_

_Loki sighed. This was an old argument. Loki had long encouraged Thor to explore the powers his mind clearly possessed, and to hone them. It had made Loki feel closer to his brother to think of them both having powers connected to the magic of their minds. Although Loki used his hands to direct much of his magic, his mind was where his power truly lied. Loki knew that the clairvoyant powers of Thor’s mind could realize different, yet perhaps equally spectacular, accomplishments. If only Thor would practice. But Thor had always insisted that the lightning, and his physical strength, were his only powers. He wanted to live solely in his body, to hide from his mind, squandering its potential. Loki found it infuriating._

_“Brother, please,” Thor said, his face softening, “can you just get me out of here?” His eyes darted frantically around the hazy yet impenetrable walls of the dark cloud that contained the memory._

_Loki wanted to rescue him, and he had to remind himself this Thor was only a memory._

_“We cannot go,” Loki said regretfully, “you must help me find the piece, it is here, in this place somewhere.”_

_Thor dropped onto the floor of the decimated ship, folding up his knees and laying his head on them. He began to sob hard enough that he had to gasp for air. Loki froze, unsure what to do – wanting to comfort his brother yet wanting to maintain emotional distance from what was not the real Thor._

_But this Thor’s pain seemed just as real, even if he was only a memory, and Loki knelt in front of him. Thor raised his head and looked at Loki with his one eye._

_“This,” Thor began hesitantly, “if I do this, it will save you? Heimdall? Everyone murdered today?”_

_“It is not a guarantee,” Loki told him, deciding to be honest even though he wasn’t sure it mattered whether or not he lied to a memory, “but we have a chance of saving everyone here, and more after them.”_

_Thor’s face fell._

_“More after them? Just how many more lives does Thanos take? Surely he is defeated?”_

_“Never mind all that,” Loki said, wishing he had given a less revelatory reply, “because if we succeed Thanos will be stopped before this day,” Loki explained, gesturing to the memory around them._

_Thor was notoriously stubborn, but he was also dependably heroic. Loki waited for him to come around. When he finally agreed to stay and look for the hidden piece, Loki was more affected than he wished to be by Thor’s mournful face._

_“You can do this, brother,” he told Thor._

_Thor nodded sadly and stood, and they began to search the rubble for the final piece. The space seemed to stretch on for longer than it should, the grim scene feeling endless. Loki tried to guide Thor on how he might attune himself to his clairvoyant abilities enough to sense the piece’s location. He had no more desire than Thor did to remain in this memory for a second longer than they had to. Loki kept involuntarily glancing at his own dead body, which seemed always to lay near to them no matter how far they had walked. Next to that lay Heimdall, Corvus Glaive’s scythe through his chest, and all around them the bodies of the Asgardians they had fought so hard to save from Hela._

_Loki wished the process wasn’t so slow, but it was clear that the task was much more difficult for this modern age Thor than it had been for the child Thor. Loki supposed this Thor was having to fight against a lifetime of trying to repress the power._

_“I think I might feel something,” Thor said at last, his voice uncertain._

_“Where, show me,” Loki said eagerly._

_Thor led him to a dark spot at the edges of the space where a pile of the dead lay. Many of the Asgardian faces were ones Loki recognized. People he had grown up with, people who had once been his friends._

_Loki followed Thor’s gaze to the glint beneath someone’s arm. Thor was frozen, and Loki stepped forward to retrieve the piece._

_“Thank you, brother,” he said softly, a hand on Thor’s shoulder, “this should be the last piece.” He took out the other nine pieces and floated them all in the air. They came together, clicking in place. They formed themselves into a flat round circle, only there was a piece missing in the middle._

_“It wasn’t the last,” Thor observed dejectedly._

_“But you found this one,” Loki said, masking his own disappointment, “and so you can find the next.”_

_Thor closed his eyes tightly for a long moment._

_“It isn’t in here, we have to get out,” he finally said, “I think I can feel it, but you have to help me get out of here, please,” he pleaded. Loki nodded and hoped the spell he was about to perform would go better than the last. He chanted the words and sent a blast of his energy at the dark barrier that contained the memory. It cracked, and a ray of light squeezed its way through. Thor rushed to throw his body at the small opening, yelling his battle cry and punching through the tear. With a bizarre shriek the memory ripped open, and Thor went tumbling through. Loki dove after him, and the opening sealed itself behind them._

~

_It was as Loki had feared. Thor was leading them away from the section containing memories and into the domain of fantasies. Loki felt a panic, an instinct to run away. He envisioned the worst – a happy family without him. He tried to look straight ahead as he followed Thor, though he could hear bits and pieces of the scenes to either side of him. Finally, Thor stopped walking. Loki felt his heart thud as he tried to prepare himself to see what he feared. He turned his head._

“Give up this poisonous dream. You come home,” another modern age Thor was saying to another Loki. They were on Midgard, at the start of Loki’s invasion.

The face of the Loki in question softened, his lips curling into an unguarded smile. He nodded, tears streaming down his face. This wasn’t the way it had happened.

“You’re right, brother,” the Loki of the fantasy told him, “let us go home.” He conjured the Tesseract and handed it to Thor. “This is not what matters,” he said softly, “is it?”

The Thor of the fantasy shook his head, and with a blissful grin he took the Tesseract from Loki’s outstretched hand. The two brothers hugged.

_Loki blinked, staring at the scene in awe. He was touched, and ashamed at how that conversation had actually played out. He imagined his life had that moment gone the way Thor fantasized._

_“There,” the memory Thor said, and lifted a rock nearby to the Thor and Loki of the fantasy. They kept hugging, seeming not to notice anyone else._

_When the last piece had settled itself amongst the others, the dim lights grew bright, and the patterns in which they flashed synced. Both of the Thors gasped, the one from the fantasy turning toward them with a confused expression._

_“Excuse us,” Loki said to the Thor and Loki of the fantasy, and he ushered the memory Thor back to the dirt road that wove between the different fantasies. The now fully formed manifestation of Thor’s clairvoyant powers floated behind without being told to, its red light reflecting onto Thor’s pale hair. Gradually the glowing circle expanded, spreading over the space around them and off into the distance._

_“Do you feel different?” Loki asked him._

_Thor nodded and swallowed hard._

_“So now what?” Thor asked._

_“Now I have to go back,” Loki said reluctantly, “we did it. You did it. Your power is whole now. I always knew you could do it.”_

_“Oh, I see,” Thor said softly. He looked away, hiding his face._

_“But I’m not really leaving you, remember,” Loki comforted him, “I’m about to see you, and we are going to use your accomplishment here to fix this.”_

_“To be heroes, side by side,” Thor added with a small smile. He reached out for Loki, then didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. He let them fall to his sides. “Is it odd to say I’ll miss you?”_

_Loki shook his head, because it didn’t seem strange to him at all._

_“I shall see you very soon, brother,” Loki said, and he took Thor’s hand and squeezed it before turning away._


	10. I Bid You Farewell And Good Luck, Morons

“What happened to them?” Loki heard the Grandmaster asking.

“I’m fine,” Loki said, opening his eyes. He found he was still kneeling over Thor, who was lying unconscious on the bed.

“Thor,” Loki called at once, shaking him gently.

Thor didn’t open his eyes right away and Loki was terrified there had been some fatal consequence to him entering Thor’s mind. But then Thor awoke, and Loki breathed a sigh of relief.

“Loki,” Thor said softly.

Loki didn’t know whether or not Thor would remember what had occurred within his own mind. But something in Thor’s expression made Loki think he did. Thor sat up and pulled Loki to him, hugging him close.

“Uh, you two need to be alone?” the Grandmaster asked after a few long moments, “I’d say get a room, but, uh -” he looked around the hotel room and grinned at his joke. Thor ignored him and didn’t let go of his brother, but eventually Loki pulled away.

“Was your mission a success?” Heimdall asked hopefully.

“Yes,” Loki said, “the manifestation of his clairvoyance had been shattered, but it is now made whole. It is my hope that he will now be able to channel his clairvoyant abilities for our purposes.”

“Wonderful,” Heimdall replied, “Thor, when you are ready, let us try the exercise again.” Thor nodded, then went to the bathroom to wash his face. He returned after a few minutes with two glasses of water, one of which he handed to Loki. Loki took it with a surprised smile as Thor sat on the bed beside him. Now that he thought about it, the experience had left him feeling a little parched.

“Time to do this,” Thor announced with determination once he had drained his glass. He set it down firmly on the bedside table and stood up with great purpose, picking up Mjolnir along the way.

Heimdall nodded and picked up the replica of the Mind Stone which Loki had made. He held out his free hand and Thor passed Mjolnir to him. Heimdall stepped a few paces back from Thor.

“Remember that your telepathic connection with Mjolnir is the key to focusing and directing the power of your clairvoyance. Mjolnir’s physical contact with me will allow you to access the stone in my other hand. Once you feel that your mind has a hold on the stone, that you are solidly linked, try and use the mind stone’s power to control me. Make me sit on the bed,” Heimdall told Thor. 

Thor’s face was severe as he gazed intensely at Mjolnir in Heimdall’s hand. The room was pointedly silent as they all watched a faint aimless glow gradually form into a bright stream of red energy radiating from the center of Thor’s forehead. 

“Ooh!” exclaimed the Grandmaster as he began to clap, “good job Sparkles!”

Thor’s concentration was broken, and he turned to scowl at the Grandmaster.

“What?” the Grandmaster asked innocently, “I was cheering you on.”

“Do not call me that,” Thor bellowed, moving as though he might punch the Grandmaster at last.

“Brother,” Loki interjected, “he was well meaning.” Thor rolled his eyes. “And Grandmaster,” Loki continued, “Thor needs to concentrate so let us hold our applause to the end, hmm?”

The Grandmaster nodded then put a finger to his lips and made a soft shushing sound.

Thor glared for a few more moments before trying again.

It seemed like the anger may actually have helped, because this time a gleaming beam of red light shot immediately from Thor’s brow. It was thick enough to appear solid as it connected to Mjolnir in Heimdall’s right hand. The stream of red stretched out from Thor’s forehead and passed through Mjolnir’s form, then began to travel up Heimdall’s arm. It glided across his shoulders and down his left arm, splitting in two when it reached the mind stone in his hand. The two bars of light folded around Heimdall’s fist and rejoined, swallowing the space around the stone in an opaque glow. Heimdall’s arm jerked and he made a small gasp.

“Does it hurt? Should I stop?” Thor rushed to ask. Heimdall shook his head.

There was another long stretch of silence as Thor strained to achieve the next step in the process – using the mind stone to make Heimdall sit on the bed. The bed was a few feet away from where Heimdall stood. Heimdall was staring at it intently, but not moving. Loki glanced at the Grandmaster who was keeping quiet with what appeared to be great difficulty, biting his lip and bouncing slightly as he watched the scene. Looking back to Heimdall’s face, Loki saw his eyes flash suddenly. Their familiar warm amber color had shifted to the pale yellow hue of the mind stone. Loki was relieved not to see the florescent blue eyes that the Mind Stone had caused when it was inside the Scepter. He already had enough reminders of his mistakes.

Just then Heimdall rushed forward and sat heavily on the bed. Thor and the Grandmaster both cheered, and Loki smiled with relief. Released from Thor’s control, Heimdall set down Mjolnir and the mind stone and blinked until his eyes returned to normal. Thor’s red light faded gradually away.

“Are you alright, Heimdall,” Loki asked. Heimdall nodded, catching his breath. Thor moved to check on him but Heimdall just smiled and put up a hand.

“I am well, do not fear,” Heimdall reassured him, “you have done wonderfully, my King,” Heimdall praised him, “I am so proud of you. Congratulations, Thor, and to you, Mjolnir.”

“Oh yes yes yes, what a show!” the Grandmaster shouted as he clapped loudly. Loki caught Thor smile at the Grandmaster for just an instant.

“Well done, Mjolnir,” Loki said with a nod to the bed, “and well done, brother,” Loki told Thor, placing a hand on his shoulder. Thor grinned widely and pulled Loki in for a hug.

“Thanks to you, brother,” he said softly in Loki’s ear.

Loki pulled back and looked into Thor’s mismatched eyes.

“No,” he told Thor, “you did this. You and Mjolnir. You did not think you could and yet you prevailed. Be proud of yourself, brother. I am certainly proud of you.”

Thor smiled at him, a smile so earnest and unguarded that it reminded Loki of the child he had met inside his brother’s mind. Loki patted his cheek fondly.

“So so so,” the Grandmaster asked excitedly, “we’re finally ready to go kick some grape flavored ass?”

“Yes,” Thor said fiercely, “yes we are.”

~

Despite Thor’s readiness, it quickly became clear that Heimdall and Mjolnir were not up to the grueling process required for Heimdall to cast Bifrost with dark magic. Much to the Grandmaster’s dismay, it was decided they would all take the night to rest and would travel to Thanos’ planet in the morning.

“Are you sleeping?” the Grandmaster whispered loudly.

Loki rolled over to face him.

“No,” he replied simply.

“Let’s talk,” the Grandmaster suggested, “I don’t want to sleep.”

Loki didn’t want to sleep either. It was the eve of battle with the monster who had tortured him, and later murdered him. But worst of all was Loki’s fear that he and Thanos were alike, and that seeing him again would be like looking at his own reflection. Loki had a strong sense that nightmares had already written themselves in his subconscious. They were waiting eagerly for him to close his eyes so that they could enact their horrors.

“What would you like to talk about, Grandmaster?”

The Grandmaster looked at him too intently.

“Thanos. He, uh, he hurt you. Do you want to talk about it? I mean, I mean it must be hard, going to fight him, after he killed you and,” he paused, “whatever else happened.”

Loki didn’t say anything.

“I mean you can talk to me, Sweetpea. About just, just anything.”

“I do not want to talk about him. I just want him dead.”

The Grandmaster looked at him with concern, and Loki rolled over again so as not to show his face.

“Okay okay okay,” the Grandmaster said, “we can talk about something else. Or we don’t have to talk, how about we play?” he asked in a seductive tone.

“Actually, I am going for a walk,” Loki announced coldly as he got out of bed. He was sick of the Grandmaster trying to force him to discuss Thanos. Thanos was not worth being discussed any more than was necessary to defeat him.

“Uh, can I come?”

“No,” Loki answered shortly as he left.

He made his way through the winding hallways and to the front door of the hotel, then escaped into the open air. He was looking up at the sky and he didn’t notice right away that Heimdall was standing under a scrawny tree to the side of the building. Loki approached him without thinking. Heimdall was staring off into the distance as though watching something only he could see.

“Heimdall,” Loki said gently, “is something wrong?”

Heimdall turned sharply, suddenly aware of Loki’s presence.

“I mourn those we cannot save,” Heimdall said in a distant voice, “the pain we cannot undo.”

“Heimdall,” Loki ventured to ask what he had been wondering all along, “why is it that we can only save those who perished after Ragnarok? You said that, besides Mjolnir, those who died at Ragnarok or before were lost to the realms of the living. Why? The Time Stone could bring us back as far as we like.” He was thinking of Asgard, of the place itself, and of all the people Hela had murdered. But Loki was thinking further back too. He imagined undoing Frigga’s death. He imagined undoing all the mistakes he had made. They could go all the way back to before his life took its dark turn. He could undo all the pain he had caused and perhaps be someone who was a hero for real.

“No,” Heimdall replied, “we cannot go any earlier than Ragnarok.”

Loki waited for further explanation but Heimdall had gone back to watching something far away. Loki followed his gaze and found nothing.

“Why?” Loki asked anxiously.

Heimdall made a soft, sad sigh.

“Ragnarok is an Ancient Prophecy of the Great Allfathers. Not even an Infinity Stone can unmake such a prophecy. Its occurrence is a certainty, and only the details may change. We fought well when it happened, and we saved a third of our people, and we conquered Hela in the end. But should it occur over again there is no guarantee that we would have that much success. We may _all_ die the second time around. Hela could survive and begin blotting out the universe with her blood lust. There is no way to know. All that is certain is that Ragnarok _will_ happen, one way or another. We cannot risk bringing about a worse outcome than we had the first time.”

“But perhaps we could bring about a better outcome than we had the first time. Those of us who were involved in the time reset would be the only ones to remember the original timeline - we would remember it, but Hela would not, and that would give us an enormous advantage.”

Heimdall looked darkly at Loki.

“You would wager with the fate of our people? Of the universe?”

“Every moment of existence is a wager,” Loki replied defensively, “one never knows what might happen. Yet we still try, isn’t that what you told me? A hero doesn’t give up in the fight for good? Is that not what you said?”

“You want to undo your mistakes.”

“I want to save the people I hurt,” snapped Loki, “and what about Mother, don’t you think she deserves to live?”

“This is not up for debate, Loki. I wish we could save everyone, but we cannot.”

After a long awkward moment Loki put on a polite smile.

“Excuse me, I think I’ll try and get some rest. Good night Heimdall.”

“Good night.”

When Loki returned to his room, he was relieved to find that the Grandmaster had fallen asleep. He felt too angry to interact with anyone. He sat on the other bed and conjured a book. He refused to close his eyes.

~

In the wee hours of the night, sleep conquered him. Loki saw the book fall out of his hands just before his eyes closed against his will. 

_“What are you doing, brother?” Thor was calling out._

_Loki looked down at his hand and found he was holding the Scepter._

_“I have to do this,” he told Thor without meeting his gaze, “this is all I am.”_

_“No,” Thor yelled, his voice echoing as Loki aimed the Scepter at him. A blast of energy, green like Loki’s magic, shot from the Scepter’s tip and knocked Thor backwards. He fell through a hole in the floor and into the sky and Loki realized they were on the Helicarrier. This was where Loki had killed Phil Coulson, he suddenly remembered, and he turned to see the man hunched over on the floor with the Scepter through his chest. Loki looked down at his own hand, somehow hoping it was some other scepter that protruded from Coulson’s chest, but the Scepter Loki had once held was now gone from his hand, and he knew with certainty what he had done._

_“Tsk tsk,” Fandral was saying in an amused tone, “he should have known all along, shouldn’t he have?”_

_Volstagg was laughing. Hogun was glaring. They were sitting at a banquet table in Asgard and Thor sat across from them._

_“You’re right,” Thor said to The Warriors Three, “I never should have thought Loki could be anything more than a liar. And a disappointment,” he added pointedly. They didn’t seem to notice Loki standing there. The Helicarrier had faded away. Loki looked down and saw he was a small boy._

_“I’m not sorry,” he spat, “I don’t care about any of you.” Thor and The Warriors Three turned to stare at him with hateful eyes._

_“Of course not,” Hogun said, and the rest of them laughed. Loki covered his ears because their laughter was turning into Thanos’ laughter._

_“You see,” Thanos told him with satisfaction, “you were never anything else. You were meant to be like me. My child. Come.” He held out his enormous hand for Loki to take. Loki peered at it and found that the Time Stone lay in Thanos’ palm._

_“You could have saved them all, but you won’t,” Thanos told him, handing Loki the Time Stone. Loki wrapped his fingers around the Stone, but it dissolved into a green powder against his skin._

_“Come,” Thanos said again, and this time when he held out his hand, Loki took it. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Thor screaming._

_“Why are you doing this?” Loki heard Frigga ask, but when he looked for her, he couldn’t find her._

_“Mother,” he said in a child’s voice without moving his lips, “Mother, he’ll hurt me, look.” He held out his bare arms and there were chunks of flesh missing._

_“Do not forget, Loki,” Frigga replied without appearing, “don’t forget to be the hero you are.”_

_Loki tried to tug his hand away from Thanos’ grip but it was too late. Thanos had pulled Loki’s body into his own and now they were one. Loki tried to say goodbye to his mother but he could only speak cruel words in Thanos’ voice._

~

Thor was looking mournfully at Mjolnir in his lap. 

“It is time to begin,” Heimdall announced, holding the essence of Hofund in one hand, “Mjolnir, are you ready?”

Thor nodded on Mjolnir’s behalf and stood up, holding Mjolnir upright.

Loki had found it painful to watch Mjolnir emit dark magic in order for Heimdall to cast Bifrost when they had first traveled to Midgard. He could only imagine how much worse it would be for Thor, who was about to witness it himself. Loki cringed as he observed his brother’s tortured face while the green smoke of Hela’s dark magic billowed from Mjolnir. Everyone except the Grandmaster began to cough as the smoke rapidly thickened until Heimdall was able to grasp a handful and use his incantation to turn it to a shard of black metal.

“That’s it, he has it,” Thor said aloud with a strangled cry, “Mjolnir, stop, it’s enough.”

The smoke hung thick in the air and, though he could barely see him, Loki could hear Thor working to suppress his sobs.

“Please please please,” Thor began to chant softly, and after a time the smoke was drawn back into Mjolnir.

“Thank the Great Allfathers,” Thor murmured as he hugged Mjolnir to him.

“We must hurry,” Heimdall said, “or we will have to start over,” and Thor nodded through his tears.

Inside Bifrost everything felt surreal. It wasn’t just the rainbow lights and the eerie sensation of being pulled along. It was the fact that it was finally happening. They were on their way to battle at last, and as much as Loki had tried to prepare himself, he felt utterly unequipped to handle what waited for him at the end of the Bifrost. There were so many things that could go wrong. It was all a gamble. In the final minutes, in the final seconds, Loki found himself praying to the Great Allfathers for their victory.


	11. Are You Sure You Wouldn't Rather Just Punch Your Way Out?

“You did not think I would see you coming?” Thanos asked with a villainous smirk. He held up his left hand, which wore the Infinity Gauntlet, and pointed to the Time Stone, “you can’t surprise me.”

They all froze, not having anticipated that Thanos would be waiting for them at the end of the Bifrost. Loki hoped that Thanos had seen only the possibility of their arrival, and not the specific details of their plan, while using the Time Stone to view potential futures. There was a chance he had seen it all, but it seemed late for a new course of action and Loki decided it was worth the gamble.

Thanos grinned at them smugly as he rose from the massive grey chair he had been settled in. With slow, ominous movements, he made his way down the stone steps that raised his throne from the grass on which it had been built. A large purple and gold canopy was set up around the area to shield Thanos from the bright rays of the planet’s sun. To either side of the canopy, rows of guards stood stiffly. A few feet behind them was a new looking palace, tall and dark. The land around them was green and lush with growth. Loki peered off into the distance and found that there were no other buildings visible.

“Okay, Grapey, you’ve had your fun,” the Grandmaster said, stepping forward, “real, you know,” he gestured around the space, “real cute little, uh, god planet you have here and my what a quirky little trick you’ve played on the universe, I mean it’s just _almost_ impressive, isn’t it. But play time is over.” The Grandmaster’s voice had grown chillingly threatening. He reached for the second Orb, which again hid his Melt Stick, but Thor rushed ahead of him, pushing him aside. Thor dove at Thanos with a battle cry, Mjolnir raised above his head, lightning crackling. Heimdall sighed in frustration.

“Rude,” the Grandmaster exclaimed. 

Thanos laughed and deflected Thor’s attack with ease. Two of the guards had stepped forward but Thanos shooed them away.

“So, this is your plan?” he asked Loki, “you and your little team come and throw themselves at me? I am a _God_. And not a ‘god’ like you, boy, but a _real_ God. For all intents and purposes, I am the _only_ God. I am the only God that matters anymore.”

“You will never be a god,” Loki told Thanos through gritted teeth. He remembered the last time he had spoken those words. He felt as though there wasn’t enough air in his lungs. He wanted to gasp for breath. He wanted to run. But Loki forced himself to appear composed, staring coldly into Thanos’ eyes.

_“Everyone,”_ Heimdall spoke silently into their minds, _“have you completely forgotten the plan?”_

Thor and the Grandmaster made faces indicating they definitely had forgotten the plan.

“You don’t seem to understand. It’s too late for you to change it, child,” Thanos told Loki with a smug grin, “I already _am_ a God.” He displayed the hand that wore the activated Infinity Gauntlet, “but you fail to see the truth of my lessons, as per usual. How about I smite you to demonstrate? Rather,” he added with amusement, “smite you again.”

“A god should be benevolent and noble,” Thor shouted, finally on track, “worthy of worship.”

“I am,” Thanos replied shortly.

“Is that what your subjects would say? The parents who have lost their children? The widows and the orphans? They would call you benevolent? Noble? Worthy?”

“I did this for them,” Thanos stated in an unnervingly calm tone, bending so his face was close to Thor’s. Thor’s expression and posture appeared confident despite the intimidation. “I did all this to save them from themselves. No one cares about them the way I do, no one cared enough to do what needed to be done.”

“You tell yourself that to justify your villainy.”

“No,” Thanos replied in a frighteningly dark tone.

“You pretend it’s for them, but you are lying to yourself.”

“No,” Thanos yelled as he used the back of his hand to smack Thor aside. Thor was knocked over but got back up.

“How many villains tell themselves they are doing good.”

“I am not a villain, I am the savior of all life.”

Thor laughed heartily. Thanos scowled at him.

“You see yourself as some sort of hero for what you have done?” Thor asked mockingly.

“I am far more than a hero,” Thanos replied sternly, “I told you. I am a God.”

Thor continued to laugh, and the sound straddled the border between well-acted and overly theatrical. Thanos picked him up by the neck, and Thor’s body dangled in the air. Thor made a desperate gulping sound as he pointed Mjolnir to the sky, gathering lightning into Mjolnir’s form. Thanos waited with a smirk as Thor contorted his arm, trying to strike him with the charged Mjolnir, but Thor couldn’t reach properly. 

“I hope you enjoyed your revelry. Because that is the last laugh you will ever experience.”

Thor’s eyes were overtaken by the glow of his lightning as it began to crackle throughout his body. Bright jagged lines shot out from both of Thor’s eyes as he kicked his legs, sending heavy bolts to strike Thanos’ skin. The bolts made contact, but they didn’t seem to bother Thanos at all.

“Killing me -” Thor struggled to say, “will only prove my point.” Thanos let go, and Thor fell to the ground, gasping for air.

“Does a benevolent God kill just to silence someone?” Thor coughed, “is that goodness?”

“I do what needs to be done. I keep my people in line because that is part of taking care of them. I appreciate the greater good. _That_ is true goodness, not your short-sighted so-called heroics. No, no one else can see clearly. I am the only one. That is my gift, and my burden.”

Thor’s breath was still uneven, and Loki could see him straining to speak further.

“If you are so confident that you are altruistically motivated,” Loki interjected, “than prove it.”

“I have nothing to prove to you. You are all insignificant. I should smite you all and be done with it.”

“Ah, you see,” Thor said to Loki, having regained his voice, “you see, brother, just like I said. This Thanos is a villain of the lowest sort.” He looked up into Thanos’ eyes, “a monster,” he added pointedly.

Thanos picked Thor up again and threw him a few feet away. Thor tumbled and landed with a grunt.

“An evil being,” Thor continued tauntingly. Thanos stomped over to where Thor had just gotten to his feet.

“No,” Thanos growled, and he kicked Thor back down, then stepped one enormous foot onto his chest. Thor cried out in pain and Loki could hear his ribs cracking. Loki rushed forward, conjuring his daggers. 

_“Loki,”_ Heimdall spoke into his mind, _“the plan.”_

With difficulty Loki reigned in his anger and put away his daggers.

“You just keep proving us right,” Loki said to Thanos, struggling to keep his voice strong.

Thanos left Thor where he lay and stepped slowly toward Loki. Loki willed his heart rate to stay even, his face to stay severe. He could feel Thanos’ breath on him as he bent low and leaned close. 

“I told you before, Asgardian,” Thanos said with a cruel smirk, “this is how I get things done.”

The familiar phrase brought Loki to that tight, spinning place where only the memories existed. It was the space inside him where what had come before was cemented into a reality so present as to be indistinguishable from the past. It was happening now. He was tied down. He was trapped. Thanos was cutting into his flesh –

“Thanos,” Thor yelled, managing to get to his feet, “get the Hel away from my brother.” 

He began to charge at Thanos, lightning gathering at his feet, but then he stopped suddenly, a mix of recollection and frustration spreading over his face, and Loki knew Heimdall must have once again reminded Thor of the plan.

“Thanos,” Thor said again, his lightning fading away with soft, reluctant crackles, “you achieved your goal already. You,” he paused and swallowed audibly, “you balanced the universe.”

“That I did,” Thanos said with satisfaction, turning to Thor.

“Then how do you justify your continued violence?”

“There has been no continued violence.”

“What about the forced sterilizations and the public executions of anyone who acts or speaks out against you?”

“A saved universe still requires maintenance,” Thanos replied matter-of-factly.

“And what about this planet,” Thor gestured around, “what about all those who once lived happy lives here, and who are now either enslaved or dead just because this is the planet you decided was yours, so you could pretend to be a god here, alone with your slaves and your worshippers.”

“I _am_ a God,” Thanos snapped at him, “and you are _all_ my worshipers, and that will never change. Take that to heart, Asgardian, or you will be among those executed at tomorrow’s daily prayers.”

“And what of the Asgardians you killed on the Statesman?” Thor continued, “you did not need to murder half of us to get the Tesseract. And we were already an endangered people following Ragnarok. You had no need to balance our population, especially since you were planning to eradicate half the total population of the universe anyhow. There can be no excuse. You massacred us because you are evil.”

Thanos picked Thor up by the head and punched him in the stomach with his free hand. Loki was trying to move but he was still trapped in the terror of his memories. Thanos punched Thor’s dangling body three more times in rapid succession. Thor tried to laugh but coughed blood instead. Loki found his way back to the present and laughed derisively. Thanos’ head whipped back toward him.

“Do you not see how well you are proving your wickedness?” 

“No,” Thanos replied, “I do not see things that way at all.” But he set Thor down again.

“Let’s settle this matter once and for all,” Thor declared. He flipped Mjolnir casually in his hand. “Thanos, are you familiar with my hammer?”

“Yes, I know all about that, just as I know everything. Only those who are Worthy can lift it.”

Thor nodded and extended his arm, holding Mjolnir out for Thanos to take. Thanos eyed Mjolnir, his expression unreadable.

“Show us then,” Thor said, his tone full of challenge, “and you can’t use the Gauntlet either, no help from the Stones. Use your bare hand and prove you are not a villain, that you are noble and good, as you claim. Prove you are Worthy.”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you,” Thanos said bitterly, but he reached for Mjolnir as he spoke.

~

Hela’s green smoke billowed from Mjolnir at Thanos’ touch. Though Mjolnir clearly rushed to pull it back inside, Thanos had already seen it. He blinked in surprise and looked to Loki. Loki let his face reveal nothing, and after a moment Thanos seemed to put the concern aside. He grinned triumphantly and lifted Mjolnir above his head.

“You see?” he asked Thor, “Worthy. And now I believe I will have your hammer for my prize. I’ll keep it next to that other trinket I won off you. Stormbreaker, was it?” Thanos gave a short, cold laugh.

Thor closed his eyes, scrunching his face tightly, and soon the red glow appeared in the center of his forehead. Thor’s eyes flew open and he stared at Thanos with ferocity. 

“What is this?” Thanos asked. He towered menacingly over Thor, who dropkicked a sudden, mighty set of lightning bolts from the soles of his boots into Thanos’ chest. It didn’t appear to hurt Thanos, but he did stumble back a step, giving Thor the room he needed to direct his clairvoyant powers to Mjolnir in Thanos’ hand.

“More of your pathetic magic?” Thanos asked Loki as the beam of red energy thickened.

No one replied. All eyes were on Thor. The red light of his power encircled Mjolnir and hovered there, seeming to have trouble sinking in. Thanos watched, intrigued. Loki wondered if they hadn’t put enough thought into how the dark magic in Mjolnir would react to Thanos. 

After what felt to Loki like an eternity, Mjolnir absorbed the red energy, glowing with its power. Thanos looked at Mjolnir, shining red in his hand. His expression was inquisitive as his eyes followed the rope of red light that connected Mjolnir to Thor’s forehead. Loki waited tensely for the next step, for the red to travel through Mjolnir and spread up Thanos’ arm - but it didn’t. As the seconds passed, each one feeling more ominous than the last, Loki grew increasingly anxious. This was taking too long. 

“I don’t know what your plan is here,” Thanos announced, “and I don’t care. You’ve wasted enough of my time. I have a universe to rule.” He gestured for his guards to come forward and four of them rushed at Thor. The red light of Thor’s clairvoyant powers faded in and out as his concentration was broken. He began to fight off the guards, accessing his lightning with ease and using a punch of his fist to send a thick braid of bolts to wrap around all four of them. With it, he lifted them up, then used the jagged fingers of his lightning to throw their bodies a significant distance away. Unfortunately, they got back up and rushed to continue the fight. 

Thanos retreated to his throne and moved to set Mjolnir down beside him but suddenly his hand jerked, and he cried out in pain. He shook his arm, straining to release his grip, then used his Gauntlet hand to attempt to pry his fingers from around Mjolnir’s helve. The green smoke emerged, spreading out to hang thick in the air, partially obscuring everyone’s view. 

“What are you doing?” Loki heard Thanos yell to Thor. “Stop him,” Thanos commanded his guards, and four more joined the fight. They were all large and formidable, with no shortage of weapons. Loki dashed forward and took over fighting the first four. He tripped two of them with a swoop of his helmet in his hand, then let his helmet drop so that he could immobilize them with quick, simultaneous slashes of his daggers across the quadriceps femoris muscles at the fronts of their thighs. Loki’s first instinct had been to go for their chests, which would have been more efficient - but then he realized that these guards may be defending Thanos against their will. If they were in actuality victims of his rule, they didn’t deserve to die. 

Loki heard Thor yell in frustration and the sky suddenly darkened. Loki snatched his helmet up and put it back on his head, wanting to rescue the treasured item from the ground that he knew might soon turn muddy. Thunder began to rumble, and distant strikes of lightning sounded to be rapidly nearing. The two remaining guards that Loki was fighting looked up, startled, and Loki wondered if it didn’t usually storm on this planet. Rain began to pound in heavy sheets that made it even harder to see, and soon the ground beneath Loki’s feet was slippery with slick grass and moist soil. He had quite good balance though, and it was the guard in front of him who slipped and fell in an attempt to lunge forward with a large ax raised above his head. The other guard put out a hand to try and catch him, and Loki took the opportunity to knock them both unconscious with a close-range blast of his magic. 

As Thanos continued straining to tear Mjolnir from his grip, the dark magic smoke billowed. The remaining four guards, whom Thor had been holding back while simultaneously trying to accomplish his task, began to cough. Loki was coughing too, but he took the window to incapacitate all four of them with one forceful wave of disorientation magic. They fell to the ground, conscious but in too much of a stupor to stand back up. In the grip of Loki’s magic, they babbled incoherently. 

But then Thanos sent in eight more guards. Through the gaps in the clouds of dark magic, through the spaces between the hard strings of rain, Loki saw Heimdall join the fight, motioning for the Grandmaster to do the same. 

“Oh, yes, yes, hot damn,” the Grandmaster exclaimed with wicked delight, “about time.” As Heimdall took on three of the guards, wielding the sword that Loki had conjured for him, the Grandmaster revealed his Melt Stick at last. He grinned and winked at Thanos, who glanced curiously at the Melt Stick.

The Grandmaster raised the Melt Stick, slowly aiming at Thanos. Heimdall dove at him, tackling him with a noise of frustration.

“Fine,” the Grandmaster spat, getting up, and he began to melt guard after guard instead. He scowled at Heimdall, barely seeming to enjoy the fact that he was finally getting to use his beloved Melt Stick. Thanos sent wave after wave of his guards after them, meanwhile continuing his efforts to extricate himself from Mjolnir’s binding. He grunted in anger and the smoke thickened defiantly. Rivulets of blood trickled down Thanos’ wrist as he jerked his arm furiously to-and-fro.

Loki and the others worked to hold back the seemingly endless stream of guards so that Thor could concentrate on gaining control of the Mind Stone. Loki tried to watch Thor’s face but kept having to look at whoever he was fighting. It wasn’t as easy as he would have liked to aim his daggers blindly when he was in combat with so many at once, especially since he was trying not to actually kill any of them. But then he heard the Grandmaster cheering. Loki used a quick clone of himself to distract the guards he had been battling, then knocked them off their feet with a swinging kick. With excitement, Loki turned to watch as the red glow finally spread from Mjolnir into Thanos’ arm.

“Stop this,” Thanos bellowed at Thor, who was staring at Mjolnir with deep focus. It was clear that Thanos was resisting Thor’s power, straining to hold back the red as it forced its way gradually across his broad shoulders. But ultimately the light travelled down Thanos’ left arm until it reached the Gauntlet.

Engulfed in Thor’s power the Infinity Gauntlet appeared even more impressive than it already was. The bright glare made each of the Stones appear luminously kaleidoscopic, and the red reflected in the metal made it look slightly ablaze. The red energy thickened around the Mind Stone.

“Stop him,” Thanos screamed, his voice edged with panic as he struggled, and more of his guards dove at Thor. With a gleeful laugh, the Grandmaster melted them in rapid succession, then blew Loki a kiss. Despite everything that was on the line, Loki couldn’t help but smile. 

“Wait,” Thanos said suddenly. His tone was blank. Everyone turned to look at him, and Loki saw that the pale yellow of the Mind Stone had taken over his irises. The Mind Stone itself was glowing brightly from its spot on the Gauntlet, activated by Thor’s power. “Leave us,” Thanos instructed the guards who were still standing. They exchanged confused glances and retreated. Thanos stared at the Gauntlet for a long silent moment. Loki watched Thor’s face contort as he worked his mind, sweat streaming from his brow, the red light at its center gleaming. Thanos gazed hazily at the Time Stone. He closed his fist and the Stone flickered with green light for just an instant. He lifted his hand to examine it with glazed over eyes. The Time Stone began to glow -

~

_“You can evade us no longer,”_ the overlapping voices of the Great Allfathers shouted suddenly into Loki’s mind. It wasn’t just three voices this time, but countless vocalizations echoing in his skull. 

_“You did impress us -”_ added the voice of the second light, who had found Loki entertaining in the past.

_“- but this game of yours is over now,”_ concluded the first light with rage, _“and it is time for you and the others to return to Valhalla, where you belong.”_

Loki had no Will stored in his aura, but his experience evading the Great Allfathers on his way out of Valhalla gave him confidence. All he had to do was buy Thor a little more time. The glowing green mandala had already begun to form around Thanos’ wrist. They were so close. The new timeline was nearly in reach. Loki flared his power.

_“Great Allfathers, what a blessing to receive Your words,”_ Loki replied silently. His Will was having trouble finding them. It needed something to latch on to. He stretched it further. 

_“Do not bother with your charm, Odinson,”_ they said angrily. Loki’s Will continued to grasp for them, to sink its teeth in, but they were too far away. 

_“You cannot work your magics on us from there, from the realms of the living,”_ the second light said, sounding amused, _“you took yourself from Valhalla, where you belong, and now that very action is what limits you. This is very humorous.”_

_“I am not attempting to work any magic on You. I would never dishonor You that way,”_ Loki said with reverence he hoped wasn’t so exaggerated as to be unrealistic. He could feel the tension throughout his being as the strings of his Will strained to reach further. The second light was chuckling.

“What is happening,” Loki heard Heimdall shout. He turned his gaze and saw that Heimdall’s form was blinking in and out of visibility. Loki looked down and saw that his own body was doing the same.

“Brother,” Thor cried out, “don’t you dare leave me again.”

“Just focus on your task, brother, you must make Thanos finish turning back time, just worry about that,” Loki tried to reassure him, “do not worry about me,” but he could hear the panic in his own voice. The tentacles of his Will were groping desperately for their aim. With great difficulty, Loki was able to graze the very edges of the Great Allfathers’ presence, but each time he did so they slipped away, evading his hold.

_“Why do you resist paradise?”_ asked the voice that Loki recognized as that of the third light, _is that not what you all strive for? The reward at the end?_

Loki looked anxiously at Mjolnir in Thanos’ hand and found what he feared: Mjolnir was also flickering in and out of the realms of the living. If Mjolnir’s physical connection with Thanos was broken, Thor’s control of the Mind Stone would be lost. 

_“Tell us,”_ the second light said with curiosity, _“tell us why you so desperately wish to stay.”_

_“To stay in the harsh, cruel realms of the living,”_ the third light continued, _“when you could have your every wish granted in a realm free of worry.”_

Loki’s body jerked as he finally pressed close enough to lay the hands of his Will against them. Though it was unseen, Loki could sense their power more clearly now - a mass of bright tangled vines, glowing in the distance. Loki clutched a coil of the Great Allfathers’ existence. He tried to rope it in and tug it near, but it wouldn’t budge. Instead Loki pressed his power against it, leaning the weight of his Will in as hard as he could manage.

_“We stay to help those in need. We stay to do good. Is that not what you wish from us all? Goodness? For us to help one another?”_ As he spoke, Loki felt the gravity of his words. He recognized how deeply he wished to do good, and the truth of it heartened and fortified him. 

The voices of the Great Allfathers were silent for a long moment. Loki wished to pray for them to decide in his favor, or for Thor to accomplish his goal in time - but he didn’t know who to pray to. Loki shoved his Will at them as forcefully as he could, but it felt like pushing against a brick wall. 

_“No,”_ stated the first light firmly, _“we deny your request.”_

Loki turned to Thor, who reached out for him.

“Loki, no,” Thor called.

Loki looked down at his body and saw that the intervals of invisibility were growing longer each time. The same was happening to Heimdall and Mjolnir. Loki felt his Will snap back into him.

“Thor,” Loki said hoarsely. He wanted to tell him to keep his focus on using the Mind Stone to force Thanos to set back time. They were so close to success, and Loki didn’t want to lose hope. But at the same time, if this was the end, he wanted to say goodbye.

“Thor,” Loki cried out, and in the moment he found he opted for hope, “please hurry,” and before Loki could work out if he was being pulled back to Valhalla or being sent back in time, everything had dissolved around him.


	12. It’s Terribly Well Balanced

“I am so sick of being on this ship, brother,” Loki heard himself saying, “I guess growing up with Bifrost really spoils a person.”

Thor turned his head sharply and their gazes met as recollection spread over both their faces. Loki had spoken those words before.

“It worked?” Thor asked incredulously, bringing a hand to his eyepatch, which covered the space where the brown eye had been in the original timeline. 

Loki looked out the glass wall of the ship’s bridge and into the depths of space. They were on the Statesman three months after Ragnarok. From a nearby room Loki could hear the sounds of dishes clanking and voices speaking. They were the voices of the people of Asgard. Thanos had not yet attacked. 

“You did it,” Loki said in amazement.

Thor’s face lit up and he cheered loudly, then scooped Loki up into a celebratory bear hug. Loki squirmed away, but smiled.

“Well done, my King,” Heimdall said from the doorway.

“Heimdall,” Thor cried out, and hurried to hug him as well. But after they pulled away from the hug, Thor’s face fell.

“What about Mjolnir,” he asked with hushed terror, “you said we would be together in the end, even though we couldn’t use the Time Stone to go back before Ragnarok,” Thor stared at his empty hand, “you said we would still save Mjolnir. But, but now I am here, we are in the new timeline, and – where is she? Back on Midgard, in pieces on that field in Norway? Crushed by Hela, murdered, gone? After everything Mjolnir did to get us here? I could not have done this without her. None of us could have done any of this without her. And now here I stand, without her once again? Heimdall, you said we would be together.” Thor’s voice was a mixture of panic and accusation.

“And you shall be,” Heimdall reassured him with a hand on his shoulder, “we will bring Mjolnir back to the realms of the living, just as I have planned, and you will be reunited once again. And in the meantime, remember that, although Mjolnir’s physical form is in pieces on that field in Midgard, Mjolnir’s consciousness is in Valhalla, happily passing the time. So try not to worry.”

“What about the dark magic that was raised to her surface? It will be all better now, right? That will be undone? By the time reset?”

Loki and Heimdall exchanged glances.

“Brother,” Loki began gently, “it is possible that the dark magic could have evaded the effects of the time reset. It may retain a hold on Mjolnir, even in this new timeline.”

“What?”

“Since a certain amount of dark magic exists within Mjolnir in both the original and new timelines, as a remnant of Hela’s era,” Loki explained, “it may have been able to maintain its position on Mjolnir’s surface, despite the time travel. Dark magic is a very powerful thing.”

“No, no, I thought it would make her better,” Thor said, stricken.

“Do not despair. I have a very good spell to devolve Mjolnir’s dark magic back to the inactive scar it once was. And remember too that we have a failsafe, in case my spell doesn’t work.” Loki revealed the first Orb, which held the remaining portion of the sample of Mjolnir’s goodness. He ignored the lurch in his stomach as his skin made contact with it. “I bound it to my aura so it would not be lost in the time travel.”

“Well done, brother,” Thor said with relief.

“However,” Loki revealed, “since this Orb has been unnaturally brought to this new timeline from the original timeline, it now exists in two places at once, and that is a temporary arrangement.” As he spoke he could feel the Orb trying to break free. It was being drawn to reunite with the version of it that belonged to the new timeline; the version that was hidden away on the ship with the Grandmaster inside.

“Let us hurry then,” Thor said with concern, “we must go and get Mjolnir’s pieces at once.”

“Wait,” Loki replied, “no, Thor, first I must get the version of the Orb from this new timeline and set the Grandmaster free, so that the unnaturally doubled Orb can stabilize as the singular entity it is.”

“Oh,” Thor said with disappointment, “I thought we might be able to leave the Grandmaster out of this from here on out. I mean, everyone is safe from him if he just stays in his Orb. But if you have to get him out in order to save Mjolnir, then perhaps we can drop the Grandmaster off on a nearby planet, hopefully one where he can’t do much damage.”

Loki blinked at him.

“I thought this was a team.”

“Loki,” Heimdall interjected, “the Grandmaster was never a true part of this team. He became involved by accident and joined our quest on a whim. He fights for the entertainment of it, and because he was alone until he aligned himself with us.”

“Loki, he is a villain,” Thor stated, “he is lucky that we are not imprisoning him for life after all he has done.” Loki felt his anger rising. 

“Is that what you think of me as well? That you should have left me imprisoned in the Dungeons of Asgard for the rest of my life? Is that what everyone said about Ragnarok? That I fought for the fun of it? Is that what you think now? That I do all of this for entertainment? Out of boredom, or loneliness?” He swallowed hard, wanting to cry from his rage, and from his eternally present shame, “that I am a villain?” he hissed.

“No, brother,” Thor said firmly, “you are not like him.”

Loki turned away. Nausea was taking him, and he didn’t know how much of it was his upset and how much was the result of the first Orb in his aura straining violently to pull away.

“We don’t have time to discuss this,” Loki spoke coldly, “I can contain the Orb in my aura no longer. If it escapes and merges with the version containing the Grandmaster before I have released him, we shall lose Mjolnir’s sample. The Orb cannot hold both at once. You gamble with Mjolnir’s fate if you delay me further.” And with that Loki stormed from the room.

~

It didn’t take long for Loki to find the Orb that held the Grandmaster. He discovered it in the back of a drawer in the ship’s galley, tucked behind a stack of Sakaarian cook books.

“What is happening now?” the disoriented Grandmaster asked as his body re-formed outside of the Orb. Loki made an opening in his aura and released the version of the first Orb from the original timeline. It rushed to merge with the new timeline’s version, which the Grandmaster had just vacated, and Mjolnir’s sample made it safely inside. Loki’s nausea subsided.

“Grandmaster,” Loki said with a smile, “we went back in time. We’re on the Statesman.” The Grandmaster looked at him blankly for a moment, but soon enough Loki saw the focused gaze of recollection take over his face.

“So Sparkles really did it? He controlled Thanos? Got Grapey to use the old Time Stone, huh?” Loki nodded. “Pretty good, pretty good,” the Grandmaster said, sounding somewhat impressed. “So, uh, now what happens? Squashin’ time?”

“We must first retrieve Mjolnir.”

“Oh, right, right, Mole-nee wasn’t on the Statesman. Alrighty, where are the others, what’s the plan, catch me up, catch me up.” He rubbed his hands together with excited anticipation.

“Grandmaster,” Loki began with diplomacy, “Heimdall and Thor, they feel that perhaps you might -”

“Oh, uh-huh, I see,” the Grandmaster said bitterly, his face falling, “they don’t want me to play anymore.”

The Grandmaster stood motionless, his face darkening, and Loki braced himself for an explosion of his rage. The Grandmaster closed his eyes for a silent, terrifying moment.

“I get it.”

“What?” Loki asked, alarmed by the Grandmaster’s soft voice and dejected tone.

“They were stuck with me and now they have a chance to get rid of me. They probably wanted to leave me in the Orb.” He paused, giving Loki a chance to correct him, but Loki just looked at him apologetically. “Yeah,” the Grandmaster continued, “they have zero reason to trust me, or to think I actually care. It doesn’t matter to them that I’ve helped. They see me how they see me, you know. It’s, uh, fine. Just drop me on the nearest planet and I’ll, just, whatever, figure it out. I am a damn survivor. Above everything, that’s what I am.”

He sat down at the table and stared off into the distance, his face guarded. Loki sat beside him. 

“You know,” the Grandmaster said after a time, “I was just starting to think, you know, that,” he paused, and Loki saw him look embarrassed for the first time ever, “that maybe, after the Revolution and everything, maybe it could be like, like a fresh start. And maybe, just maybe, uh, I could be…” he trailed off and looked down.

“Different now?” Loki finished for him. The Grandmaster nodded.

“You can be.” 

The Grandmaster looked at Loki with defensive eyes, as though he thought it might have been a joke.

“We both can be,” Loki told him earnestly.

“Aren’t you already?” the Grandmaster asked, “I mean wasn’t that some kind of heaven you made it into?”

“More or less.”

“Then you must have done it. And here you are now, you gave up paradise to save people. I could never do something like that.”

“But you’re here too, you fought by our side against Thanos.”

“Yeah. But I’m not sure I had the best, uh, motivations. At least to start,” he added thoughtfully.

“And now?”

“I don’t know, Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster replied in a near whisper.

He didn’t say anything for a long time, and he looked sadder than Loki had ever seen him. Loki fixed them each a cup of tea. The Grandmaster took a sip, but he remained quiet.

“Grandmaster,” Loki began at last, “I’ve done many immoral deeds. I’ve taken many lives and caused much pain,” he took a deep breath, “but then I wanted to be different, and I tried to be. I try to be. It’s still hard. I cannot always trust my instincts. But it’s better. Than before. It feels better, to care about them all, even when it’s hard.”

“You know what,” the Grandmaster replied at last, “I didn’t used to be like this. I didn’t used to hurt people. I guess things just,” he shrugged, “got out of hand once I made Sakaar. I wasn’t even, I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, I just got caught up in the fun, and I felt I deserved it, after,” he exhaled heavily, “after everything.”

Whatever had occurred in the Grandmaster’s life prior to his creation of Sakaar was a mystery to Loki. But looking into his eyes Loki recognized the pain of having been broken by one’s past.

“Maybe the Revolution was a good thing, in a way. You have another chance.”

The Grandmaster shook his head. 

“I don’t though, because the others kicked me out of our do-gooder club.”

Loki stood up with determination.

“I shall handle them,” he declared fiercely, “come on,” and he led the Grandmaster to where the others waited.

~

“Fine,” yelled Thor, “I am sick of arguing with you, brother. We are wasting time while Mjolnir waits. The Grandmaster can come along, and you,” Thor pointed violently at Loki, “are responsible for his behavior, alright? Now shut up and get the Tesseract so Heimdall can use the Space Stone and Hofund to make Bifrost.”

Loki smirked at his victory; he hadn’t even needed to use any of his Will. As Thor continued to scowl, Loki conjured the Tesseract from where he had hidden it on the ship. He handed it to Heimdall.

“I cannot believe I had to listen to you whine for months about how long the journey was taking when you had a source for Bifrost power hidden away all along,” Thor snapped.

Loki shrugged and flashed a mischievous grin, but Thor did not appear charmed.

“Heimdall, get Hofund, let’s do this,” Thor said impatiently.

Heimdall sighed and went to retrieve Hofund, who was still whole and stored safely in Heimdall’s cabin.

“Thanks, Spa – I mean, Thor,” the Grandmaster said with sincerity, “for letting me tag along.”

Thor looked at him with anger and confusion, appearing thrown by the Grandmaster’s genuine politeness. Thor seemed like he vaguely wanted to calm down but couldn’t manage it.

“Do not make me regret it,” he told the Grandmaster through gritted teeth. 

“Sure thing, I’ll be good, I swear, I swear. Plus,” he added as he reached into his robes, “lookee-lookee what I have!” He revealed the second Orb and released his Melt Stick from inside. “Thanos will look much better as a pile of goo, don’t you think? Guy really needs a make-over.”

Loki snickered.

Heimdall returned with Hofund and soon they were in Bifrost on their way to the site of Mjolnir’s destruction: the field in Norway on Midgard. Loki glanced up and saw the Grandmaster treating Bifrost like a theme park ride, screaming delightedly with his arms above his head. Thor and Heimdall were looking down at him with disapproval. 

“This is where her pieces should be, this is where Hela crushed her,” Thor said in a panic once they had landed and found nothing but grass, “why isn’t Mjolnir here?” He looked to Loki for answers.

“I mean,” the Grandmaster said, “someone probably picked up the pieces by now, don’t you think? Probably valuable, whatever it was made of, right?”

“Mjolnir is made of uru, a metal of the gods born from the heart of a dying star.”

“Yeah, see, sounds pricey.”

Thor glared at him.

“Yes,” Loki told Thor, “once Mjolnir’s consciousness departed from this physical form, the magic that prevented most people from lifting Mjolnir would have been broken. Anyone could have taken the pieces.”

“Heimdall,” Thor said sadly, “can you see where they are?”

Heimdall paused, his golden eyes glinting, and he nodded. 

“Ooh, we get to go again,” the Grandmaster exclaimed happily as Heimdall used Hofund and the Space Stone to cast Bifrost. “Me first this time!” the Grandmaster declared as he dove into the stream of rainbow light yelling, “whee!” The others followed, Thor rolling his eyes and Loki smiling fondly.

~ 

“Point Break!” Tony exclaimed when they landed in front of the wall-sized television in his living room, “could have used the front door, but,” he opened his arms, “bring it in, buddy.” The confines of the Bifrost Heimdall had cast allowed them to pass through the building’s walls without damaging anything, but Loki did wish Heimdall had set them down outside. Facing Tony was going to be awkward enough already.

“Tony,” Thor replied, his voice breaking as he pulled Tony into a firm, long hug.

“Wow, someone’s happy to see me,” Tony said curiously when Thor finally let him go, “what’s up?”

It was then that Tony looked behind Thor to the others. He met Loki’s eyes with a cold expression. Loki smiled clumsily at him. He felt an overwhelming wave of guilt at seeing Tony, one of the Avengers he had tried to kill during his invasion of Earth. Loki was aware that Tony had almost died during the Chitauri Invasion. With shame, Loki looked away.

“Why the hell is he here, Thor?” Tony asked in a low, threatening tone.

“He’s helping, he’s good now, please believe me, friend,” Thor said as he tried to lay a hand on Tony’s shoulder. Tony jerked away.

“Get that monster out of my house.”

Loki felt the word _monster_ as sharply as any weapon that had ever pierced his flesh.

“I’ll wait outside,” he said softly, and turned to leave. The Grandmaster followed him out.

Loki knew a spell that would have allowed him to eavesdrop on their conversation from outside, but he couldn’t face it. He didn’t want to hear more of the horrible things Tony was surely saying about him. It made Loki wonder if he had made the wrong decision in coming back to Midgard. How could he think he would be given a chance here, in this land he had tried to bend violently to his own will, among these people whose lives he had treated as expendable? Why had he not waited on the Statesman and left Heimdall and Thor to get Mjolnir’s pieces?

“You okay there, Sweetpea?”

Loki just shook his head. He didn’t want to talk, but he realized he did appreciate the Grandmaster standing beside him, saving him from being alone in his despair. The Grandmaster seemed to understand, and he wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulders, wordlessly pulling him in so that Loki’s head rested against the Grandmaster’s chest. Loki didn’t fight it, just listened to the odd pattern of the Grandmaster’s heartbeat as they waited in silence.

Eventually Thor emerged, Tony and Heimdall behind him. Tony rushed ahead of Thor, barreling toward Loki. Loki watched him approach, not knowing what to expect. He tried to keep his expression neutral. If Tony was going to punch him, Loki was prepared to let him.

“I don’t forgive you for anything,” Tony said with narrowed eyes, “but from what Thor says, we have bigger things to worry about. So. For the sake of the universe,” he stuck out his hand for Loki to shake. It was a far better outcome than Loki had anticipated, though he found he longed for Tony’s forgiveness anyhow. He knew he had no right to expect it. He shook Tony’s hand.

“And as for you,” Tony said to the Grandmaster, “to be honest, I’ve heard mixed reviews.”

The Grandmaster grinned. 

“Oh, funny! I like the funny ones,” he said approvingly. “You can call me Grandmaster. I’m helpful, formerly unhelpful, blah blah,” he waved his hand as if shooing away the past, “and you are, what, a Mood-gasian?”

Tony looked at him in confusion.

“He means Midgardian,” Loki explained, “Tony,” he began, then quickly realized he had no idea what he should say.

Tony gazed scornfully in reply. Loki turned his head away and his eyes fell upon the box in Thor’s arms.

“Mjolnir’s pieces?” Loki asked.

“Yeah,” Tony replied, “came across them on eBay and thought they were fake. Got ‘em as a gag gift for the next time I saw Thor. Good on me, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure,” the Grandmaster said with enthusiasm, “I can’t tell you how many times gag gifts have gotten _me_ out of a bind.” He looked like he was about to launch into a list of said times, so Loki interjected.

“Has Thor filled you in on everything?” Loki asked Tony, though it was Thor he looked at.

“Yeah, I’m up to speed,” Tony replied in a guarded tone. Thor nodded.

“You coming with us?” the Grandmaster asked hopefully, “have you done this Fry-sauce ride? It’s, uh, amazing. Next we’re going to Nerd-velvet, you should come!”

Thor grunted in anger, handing Heimdall the box as though he thought he might throw it in his rage.

“Grandmaster,” Loki replied, “it’s _Bifrost_ and _Nidavellir_ , and no, Tony isn’t coming.”

“Oh, I’m not invited to save the universe with you?” Tony snapped.

“Oh,” Loki said absently. He hadn’t thought about the fact that Tony would want to join the fight, but Loki realized he should have known. Tony was a hero, it was predictable. “I’m sorry, Tony,” Loki added, trying to smooth over his blunder, “I just thought you might be busy.” He knew at once it was a pathetic excuse, and he repressed the flushing of his cheeks.

“Tony _is_ coming, brother,” Thor announced, “he will be a great asset to us when we face Thanos again.”

“Of course,” Loki replied, though something in him cringed at the thought of being around Tony’s hatred for so long.

“Great,” the Grandmaster said happily, “isn’t it great, Sweetpea?” he asked Loki encouragingly. Loki didn’t say anything.

“Ever been in Bi-snow before, Tony?” the Grandmaster asked.

“For the love of Odin’s beard, it’s _Bifrost_ ,” Thor bellowed, “ _Bifrost_ ,” he repeated, his voice nearly a growl.

“Okay, okay, okay,” the Grandmaster said, putting up his hands. Loki saw Tony suppress an amused smile.

~

“How fun was that?” the Grandmaster asked Tony as the Bifrost landed them on Nidavellir, “so fun, right?”

Tony did not look like he had enjoyed it. He steadied himself with a hand on Thor’s bicep. 

“It’s already gone out, the star,” Thor said, peering into the darkness around them, “Heimdall, are you sure this is Nidavellir? The realm of the Dwarves? We didn’t save it when we reset the timeline?” 

Heimdall shook his head sadly.

“Thanos attacked Nidavellir prior to Ragnarok. We could not save them.”

Thor was silent for a moment and Loki saw rage pass over his face, them melt into sorrow, but only for an instant before it returned to fury.

“We should have gone back farther then, we should have found a way,” Thor bellowed.

“There was no way to be found,” Heimdall reminded him gently, “the Ancient Prophecy of Ragnarok would have played out again in the new timeline and this time Hela might have won. There is no way to stop Ragnarok from happening in one way or another, and so there is no way to help those Thanos killed prior to Ragnarok. I am sorry, Thor.”

Thor gritted his teeth, and they all stood in awkward silence and watched his fists crackle with lightning. It appeared violently bright against the dark space that surrounded them.

“Well maybe we should have tried,” he snapped.

“And risk Hela succeeding in her goal, conquering realm after realm, killing who knows how many in the name of her murderous empire?”

“All you did was choose one villain over another,” yelled Thor, “how many realms has Thanos already decimated? How long has he been killing, working towards his goal?”

Heimdall sighed.

“Since far before Ragnarok,” he replied, “my King,” he added.

“Yes, I _am_ your King,” Thor screamed, “yet no one asked my opinion on how far back to send us when we reset the timeline. You just came and told me what to do.” The sky above them grew even darker than it had been as storm clouds gathered above where they stood.

“Brother -” Loki interjected, but Thor cut him off.

“I don’t want to hear it. Let’s just get on with this. I need Mjolnir back.”

“We will find King Eitri this way,” Heimdall informed them after a long tense moment, and they all followed.

“Eitri,” Thor said to his back when they found him, crouched over amidst what remained of the forge.

Eitri stood, his enormous form towering over them. He attacked at first sight, throwing Thor a few feet away.

“Eitri, wait,” Thor said wearily, as though he had said the words before, “stop.”

“Thor?” Eitri said with recognition.

Thor nodded silently, shame on his face.

“You were supposed to protect us,” Eitri yelled, his voice breaking, “Asgard was supposed to protect us.”

“I know,” Thor whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“He killed them all, Thor, he took my people, he took everything,” Eitri held up his arms to show his immobilized hands, “and now I am nothing.”

Thor looked like he wanted to say something inspirational but couldn’t manage it.

“King Eitri,” Loki ventured, “we are so sorry for your losses, and for Asgard’s failure to prevent them. We cannot undo what Thanos has done here,” Loki said, repressing a cringe, “but if you help us, we have a good chance at defeating him. We can stop him from taking more lives, causing further pain.”

Eitri dropped back onto the ground, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his folded-up legs. Loki tried not to stare at his disabled hands.

“What do you want from me?” Eitri asked in a small, defeated voice. It was especially tragic to hear coming from a being of his imposing size.

“It’s Mjolnir,” Loki replied, gesturing to the box in Heimdall’s arms, “Mjolnir has been broken and we need your skills of repair.” 

“Mjolnir broken?” Eitri asked in a tone of disbelief, “that should be impossible.” His face was mournful, “I made Mjolnir to be eternal.”

“Yes,” Thor agreed sadly, “it should be impossible.”

“Let me see,” Eitri said with eager concern.

Thor took the box from Heimdall and set it down in front of Eitri. With a deep breath, Thor untied the red ribbon Tony had wrapped it in and opened the lid.

“What is this on top?” he asked, retrieving a piece of paper from inside the box. 

“Oh right,” Tony said, “I printed out the eBay ad for it. Hilarious.”

Thor looked at him bleakly.

“This was back when I thought it was a gag gift.”

“Totally Genuine,” Thor read aloud from the paper, “100% Authentic Thor Odinson God of Thunder Strongest Avenger Hammer Mighty Weapon Sexy Lightening Fighter Weather God Power!!! One Of A Kind Nothing Like It!!! You Can Be Like Hero Thor!!!!!! Just Buy! Only Slightly Damaged.”

Tony and the Grandmaster both snickered. Loki managed to suppress his own laugh, which he thought a small miracle.

~

“Mjolnir’s consciousness will be drawn out from Valhalla and back into her physical form once it is repaired?” Thor asked.

“Hopefully, yes,” Heimdall replied. 

“Almost done,” Eitri announced, and with a final smash of his lifeless hands cracked open the remaining metal to reveal a fully repaired Mjolnir.

There was an unidentifiable change in the air. Nothing could be seen or heard, no breeze could be felt, but Loki could sense a crack between the realms, a crack that never should have been, and rushing through it came Mjolnir’s consciousness. Invisibly it locked into its physical form and Thor gasped.

“Mjolnir,” Thor spoke aloud, as he reached to pick Mjolnir up with a tender movement. He stared with great intensity at Mjolnir in his hand and suddenly an expression of terror took over his face.

“What?” Tony asked with concern.

“She,” Thor said in a horrified whisper, “she wasn’t in Valhalla.”

“What?” Loki asked, though he was quickly grasping the tragic situation. 

“Not in Valhalla?” Heimdall asked, “where then?” It was clear from his tone that he knew the answer, but hoped it wasn’t true.

“Hel,” Thor spoke, his voice hushed and hollow.

“What?” Tony said again.

“Oh, oh, oh, I see,” the Grandmaster announced thoughtfully, “because of the whole Hela thing, right?”

“Who?” Tony asked.

“Hela,” Eitri spoke with a shudder, “was Mjolnir’s first owner. A cruel being of dark magic. Only she could have destroyed Mjolnir, because the mark of the Bond they once shared remains within Mjolnir like a scar.” Loki recognized guilt on Eitri’s face, and it was clear that he felt responsible for what Mjolnir had been through. Loki could relate. 

“Right, yes, exactly,” the Grandmaster said, pointing at Eitri with inappropriate cheer, “that’s the scar we opened up to get dark magic!” Loki gave him a stern look. “Oh,” the Grandmaster added with less enthusiasm, “I guess that’s why Mule-mare ended up in Hel. Oops.” He grimaced, then shrugged, “well, all’s well now, huh? Escape from hell, uh, accomplished. Go us!” He clapped. “Tell Mal-near I say welcome back.”

“Mjolnir,” Loki said solemnly, ignoring the Grandmaster, “I am so sorry. I truly did not anticipate this. Thor, I am sorry.” Loki tried to think what else to say. Mjolnir certainly did not deserve to spend even a moment in Hel, and yet, because of what Loki and Heimdall had done, Mjolnir had been sent to suffer. Guilt washed over Loki and, without thinking, he stepped backward as though physical distance from Mjolnir might lesson the pain of his regret.

“I beg your forgiveness, Mjolnir,” Heimdall said, torment in his voice, “this was not part of my plan. I did not realize that bringing Hela’s dark magic to your surface would mean that you would be drawn to Hel rather than Valhalla after the timeline was reset.”

“Nor did I, Mjolnir, had I known I…” Loki trailed off because it seemed selfish to try and explain away his sin. 

Everyone watched Thor and Mjolnir for a lengthy, silent moment. Loki could tell that Thor was working very hard not to cry. Tony patted him comfortingly on the back, but Thor showed no reaction.

“I am so sorry,” Heimdall murmured.

“She says she was pulled in both directions at first,” Thor began in a distant voice as he gazed at Mjolnir with a pained expression, “she could feel Valhalla trying to grasp her, and she thought everything would be alright,” he swallowed hard to steady his voice, “but then Hela took over.”

“You mean the remnant of Hela’s dark magic that manifested itself as Hela when Mjolnir hurt your hand?” Loki clarified.

Thor shook his head gravely.

“ _Actual_ Hela?” Heimdall said with shock, “actual Hela pulled Mjolnir to Hel?”

Thor nodded, and Loki saw a tear slide down his cheek. 

“Hela told Mjolnir she was hers again, and that,” Thor paused, his face white, “that Mjolnir had always been hers, that Mjolnir’s time with me, her time with goodness, that was a mistake, was wrong, was never who Mjolnir really was,” Thor spoke in a rush now, as though eager to get out the words before he lost total control of the tears he was fighting, “that the fact that Hela was able to bring Mjolnir to Hel proved that evil was Mjolnir’s truth and,” he choked back a sob, “and that being in Hel solidified the dark magic on Mjolnir’s surface and throughout her being, forever.”

Loki was overcome with a hopeless, sinking feeling. That was his greatest fear about himself - that the truth of him was evil, that Hel was where he belonged - and he let himself feel the pain Mjolnir must have felt at hearing Hela’s words. 

“Hela was wrong, Mjolnir,” Heimdall declared fiercely, “if there is any part of you that believes what she said, then hear me now: she is wrong. You are good.”

“Mjolnir doesn’t want to talk about it any further,” Thor announced after a moment. He wiped at his damp cheek.

Loki stared off into the glow of the reignited star and tried to imagine what Mjolnir had been through. He wondered if time passed more slowly in Hel, and how long Mjolnir had actually spent in that terrible place. He wondered if Thor was experiencing Mjolnir’s memories of suffering. He wanted to comfort his brother, but he felt frozen.


	13. Is It Madness? Is it?

Loki found the Grandmaster in Tony’s workshop. 

“Grandmaster, you shouldn’t be here,” Loki began, but then the Grandmaster turned and revealed that Tony was standing on the other side of the work table.

“Oh, Tony,” Loki said, flustered, “I didn’t see you there, I thought perhaps the Grandmaster had gone exploring where he oughtn’t.”

“Sweetpea, Tony has some great toys here. We’re working on something special.” He rubbed his hands together and grinned in excitement.

“Oh?” Loki looked down at the table and saw the first Orb, which held the remaining sample of Mjolnir’s goodness. An array of Midgardian devices and tools were scattered around it. 

“Yeah, the Grandmaster has some amazing tech here,” Tony replied without looking up from his work.

“Yes,” Loki agreed simply, afraid he might say the wrong thing and make things worse between them, “well, I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Hey,” Tony called after him, “check on Thor.” Loki turned and gave a quick nod. He had been meaning to do that, but had been having trouble facing it. 

Loki found Thor in a spare bedroom, crying into his hands. A bloodstained towel was wrapped around his right palm. Mjolnir was on the bedside table and a layer of green smoke hung low to the floor. It spread out across the room, obscuring the carpet and Thor’s feet.

“Brother,” Loki said softly. He sat down on the bed next to Thor. 

Thor raised his head and Loki looked into his one mournful eye. Though the mismatched eyes of the original timeline had given Thor a striking look, Loki thought the eyepatch suited Thor more. Thor opened his mouth as though he was going to speak, but another wave of tears took him, and he collapsed against Loki, burying his face in the dark hair draped over Loki’s shoulder. Loki put his arms around Thor and wished he knew what to say.

When Thor pulled away, he looked down and to the side. 

“I keep losing loved ones over and again.”

Loki looked away as well, wondering if it was the right time to offer Thor an apology for the two times he had allowed his brother to erroneously think him dead. Loki had given Thor a blanket apology for his wrong doings during their initial time on the Statesman. Specifically listing each of his mistakes had seemed impractical.

“Thor,” he began, “I’m sorry for when I -” 

“Don’t,” Thor interrupted, shaking his head, “please don’t. Just, I need to be alone.”

“Well, just let me get you the second Orb, so we can heal your hand.”

“No,” Thor yelled angrily, “I’m fine.”

Loki stared at him for a few moments, then sighed and left the room, shutting the door softly behind him.

Loki decided to check on Heimdall as well, and he found him outside, gazing up into the sky. He held Hofund to him like a security blanket. Loki approached him.

“Heimdall,” Loki called gently, and Heimdall turned to him, “are you,” Loki paused, wondering if Heimdall also wanted to be alone, “are you alright?”

Heimdall sighed.

“Only doubting this entire quest. Loki, what if I was wrong. Look at the damage I have caused. Perhaps this was all wrong. Perhaps these were bad actions. I wished so deeply to be heroic, and now I think - perhaps I made the wrong choices. Not the choices a hero would make. Perhaps we should have remained in Valhalla as the Great Allfathers intended and stayed out of the affairs of the living. Who am I to question Them,” he made eye contact with Loki, his amber eyes bright, and Loki wondered if Heimdall was about to cry, “do you think you can ever forgive me for bringing you into this?”

“Heimdall,” Loki sighed, “heroics are certainly not my area of expertise, and I probably shouldn’t speak to their definition. But,” he hesitated, “there is a recurring dream I have, of my mother.”

Heimdall looked interested.

“In the dream I ask her what makes a hero.”

“And what does Frigga say?”

“She says, ‘a hero is one who finds the goodness in his heart and listens to it.’”

“Well that is very subjective, isn’t it,” Heimdall said with disappointment, “how are we to know if what we find in our hearts is truly goodness?”

“I believe that’s the challenge.”

Heimdall was silent for a long time. Loki stood beside him and they both watched the sky.

~

Loki was unsurprised, but crushed, when his spell didn’t work. When he had planned out how to return Mjolnir’s darkness to its original inactivity, he could not have foreseen the strength the dark magic would gain from Mjolnir’s time in Hel. He had no way to know that Mjolnir would end up having direct contact with Hela, and he wasn’t sure how he would have planned for that even if he had known. He tried the spell a few more times, injuring himself fairly seriously during his third attempt. The failed spell attempts had also led to Mjolnir gashing the wounds on Thor’s hand further open, and he and Loki each had to take a turn in the second Orb.

“What next?” Thor asked when he emerged. He looked at his hand, which was now healed.

“The first Orb,” Loki replied, “our countermeasure against the dark magic. We will use what remains there of the sample of Mjolnir’s essence. But it cannot do what this spell was meant to. It cannot undo my original spell which brought the dark magic to the surface in the first place,” he sighed sadly, “hiding the sample in the first Orb, it was only meant as a fail-safe. It is only a seed of Mjolnir’s true Worthiness. For if the spell did not work. I thought,” Loki looked off into the distance, the dreaded sense of having been a disappointment gripping him, tightening around him, “it was a safety net,” he explained, “but, I should have thought of something better, I should have…” he trailed off regretfully.

“But wait, wait, wait, guess what,” the Grandmaster announced. Everyone turned to him, startled by his upbeat tone, “Tony and I have a little surprise.” He revealed the first Orb and grinned. It looked the same as it always had.

“What?” Loki asked.

“So, basically,” Tony explained, “we’ve used a combination of my tech and the Grandmaster’s tech to create a field around the Orb that will magnify whatever passes through it.”

“Ah, I see,” Loki replied, “so when we release the sample of Mjolnir’s essence, it will become stronger.”

“Exactly,” Tony answered, “approximately 220% stronger. Should give Mjolnir a much better chance.”

“Thank you,” Thor said, “thank you, Tony, my friend.”

“No problem, buddy.”

“And,” Thor added with hesitation, “thank you, Grandmaster.”

The Grandmaster smiled with what looked like earnest happiness.

“You’re welcome, Thor,” he replied cheerfully.

“Thor,” Loki asked, “is Mjolnir ready?”

Thor looked at Mjolnir, his face taut. 

“Uh, yes.”

Loki wondered what Mjolnir had really said. It was clear Mjolnir had been battling moment to moment to manage the dark magic, that the fight between goodness and villainy was raging within Mjolnir’s consciousness. The green smoke had come intermittently since Mjolnir’s resurrection. Thor had been able to pick Mjolnir up on some tries but had been attacked upon other attempts. Loki wondered how dark Mjolnir was in this moment, if Mjolnir was telling Thor to give up and let the evil take over.

The Grandmaster unlocked the first Orb. Everyone froze in anticipation.

Loki could sense the essence emerging a moment before he could see it. It poured from the Orb in dots of white light that looked like luminous sand. It passed through the amplifying field and its power thickened, its glow brightening. It was making its way to Mjolnir -

“Mjolnir, don’t,” Thor cried out when a shield of slick green ooze appeared suddenly in front of Mjolnir, deflecting the sample. The cluster of shimmering white specks bounced back toward the Grandmaster, who caught it in the still-open Orb and sealed it safely inside.

“What happened?” Tony asked.

“Mjolnir rejected it,” Heimdall said grimly.

“It isn’t her fault,” Thor snapped defensively, “it was the dark magic, it was Hela… do you have any idea what Mjolnir has been through? Because of you, Heimdall, and because of you, brother?” He pointed violently at them.

Loki and Heimdall were silent as Thor fumed. He muttered a string of swears and picked up Mjolnir, who attacked him with a metal spike so long it pierced straight through his hand. He growled but barely flinched, then stormed off. A trail of green smoke followed.

“Wait, Thor,” Loki called belatedly, “I’ll go into Mjolnir’s aura and get the sample directly to the core, like I did last time.” But Thor seemed too angry to have heard him, and he didn’t turn back. 

~

_Inside Mjolnir’s aura Loki found none of what he had last time. He had expected an immediate barrage of weapons to be flying at him through white fog, but everything was clear and still. He looked around, observing smooth sheets of dark metal intersecting at right angles. Together they formed a strange set of stairs that somehow led endlessly down while still functioning as the walls of the fully closed-off space. The room was too small and yet Loki felt he might fall into infinity if he came too close to the edges. There was no fog this time, and Loki was not floating, but standing on what felt like a very solid metal floor. He tested it with a soft step of his foot and the sound echoed, cutting eerily into the depths of the silence._

_“Mjolnir?” Loki called._

_“Leave me,” said a voice. It wasn’t the voice Mjolnir had used in Valhalla this time. It was Hela’s voice._

_“Hela?”_

_“No, it is me, Mjolnir,” the voice said with a distantly sad sigh, “but you may as well call me Hela, for we are joined. Hers is the only voice I will ever have.”_

_“I came to save you.”_

_“It is too late.”_

_Loki shook his head emphatically, straining to hide his fear that it was true._

_“It is never too late for redemption,” Loki declared, and he began the search for the aura’s core._

_He looked for so long that he worried his spell would expire and he would be forced out of Mjolnir’s aura. But just then he caught site of it: a white light, dim and flickering, guarded by metal plates forming a nearly sealed box around it. Through the seams at the edges the light of Mjolnir’s true essence was striving to break free. There was still hope. Loki stepped closer to the box, but suddenly there was no ground beneath him. He couldn’t float either, and he grasped for something to hold himself up by, but the surfaces were too sleek to give him any traction. He was falling._

_“I told you,” Mjolnir said in Hela’s voice._

_Loki used his magic to form a small platform below him. He landed on it with a thud._

_“Just go,” Mjolnir said, sounding defeated and hopeless, sounding broken in a way Loki found all too familiar, “just leave me. It’s over.”_

_“I refuse,” Loki screamed, standing up, “I refuse to give up. You must not give up either. You must let me help you,” he said sternly, then in a softer tone added, “please.”_

_Silence was the only reply, which Loki felt a good sign._

_“Do you remember, Mjolnir, what you said to me, at the start of this?”_

_“Nothing that matters now, to be sure.”_

_“You said that if my spell did not work, you would fight your way back to good the way,” Loki paused, “the way I have done, and that we would both have Thor to support us on our journey.”_

_Silence again._

_“Do you remember?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“‘We will both have Thor’s support again,’” you said. And now we do. We have him back. You can’t leave him now.”_

_Loki let the silence go on for longer now, waiting for Mjolnir to respond._

_“Tell him I am sorry.”_

_“No,” Loki yelled, “no, I will do nothing of the sort. You do not wish to do this to him, I know you don’t. You told me how you missed him when you were apart, remember?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“And now you say you are sorry. Is that because you still have love for him, and you regret his pain?”_

_It was a very long time before Mjolnir spoke again, and Loki remembered to worry about the spell potentially timing out._

_“Yes,” Mjolnir admitted at last, and for an instant Loki heard a tinge of the voice Mjolnir had spoken with in Valhalla._

_“Then try, for him.”_

_After a few beats Loki stepped forward, morphing his platform into a steep staircase that led back up to the core of Mjolnir’s aura. With each step he knew that Mjolnir might stop him, perhaps violently, but he pressed on, hoping for the best. Soon Loki reached the top where Mjolnir’s trapped essence was waiting for his rescue. Loki tested the box’s integrity with his magic, and then with his hands and daggers. The walls of the box seemed indestructible, but there were slim gaps between them that Loki found he could pry wider with the force of his magic._

_“Loki,” Mjolnir said softly in the Valhalla voice._

_“Yes, Mjolnir,” Loki breathed with relief, “can you take down the walls?”_

_“I don’t think so,” Mjolnir said, and this time it was a bizarre merge of the two voices._

_“This will have to do then,” Loki said, and he revealed the first Orb, “try to open yourself up to it, Mjolnir, try to let it in, try for Thor.”_

_And with that Loki unlocked the Orb. The sample of Mjolnir’s essence – at first aglow with a pale soft light - passed through the magnification field that Tony and the Grandmaster had set up. It brightened to a glare and Mjolnir’s Hela-voice cried out in protest. The grains of white light rushed to the box and encircled it, then began to push aggressively through the spaces between the box’s walls to reunite with what was trapped inside._

_“Loki, it hurts,” Mjolnir’s Valhalla-voice said, but then the box shook, and the white light that had gathered inside exploded in a cloud of luminescence, shattering the box and sending shards of metal flying._

_“You did it -”_ Loki began to say, but just then the spell’s time ran out, and Loki found himself back in Tony’s living room.

~

It was the eve of battle again. Loki didn’t want to let himself sleep. He sat on top of the comforter, still fully dressed, in one of Tony’s guest rooms. The Grandmaster was asleep beside him. Loki conjured a series of books, none of which could hold his attention. 

“Don’t you think you should sleep?” the Grandmaster asked groggily, rolling over to face him.

“I am going to stay up,” Loki told him firmly, “but I can be quieter,” he added, and conjured another book he hoped might interest him.

“You could just lie down with me for a little,” the Grandmaster suggested.

“No, I don’t want to lie down,” Loki replied as he inched further away from where the Grandmaster lay. He stiffened his posture, holding his back parallel to the tall wooden headboard. The mattress was comfortable, and the Grandmaster’s arms looked cozy and appealing. But Loki knew he had to resist the lure of slumber. “You sleep,” he told the Grandmaster, “I’ll talk to you in the morning.” He thought about switching to the armchair in the corner of the room, but it looked rather cozy as well. 

The Grandmaster sat up.

“Worried about the fight, about, about Thanos?”

“No more than any logical person would be.”

“Really?”

Loki’s head whipped toward him, his eyes narrowed.

“What does that mean?”

“It means it’s different for you, then for any random person. Seeing Thanos. Fighting him. It’s, it’s different for you. They haven’t been through everything you have with him. I mean, I know Heimdall got murdered by Thanos too, but, uh, that isn’t the only thing that Thanos did to you, is it? Because I kind of get the sense there’s more, and I think I know you better than you think I do.”

Loki turned away.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to and I’m perfectly fine.”

“Then come, come lie down, hmm?” He patted the space between them on the bed. Loki sighed and added the book he was holding to the stack on the nightstand. He stood in order to strip down to his underwear, then slid beneath the bedsheets beside the Grandmaster, who wrapped an arm around him and pulled Loki in to rest against his chest.

“Don’t let me sleep,” Loki said in a harsh whisper.

“Because you’ll dream about him?”

Loki didn’t say anything. He thought about getting up in protest, but he was starting to realize how exhausted he was.

“Good job fixing up Mime-nair today,” the Grandmaster said after a stretch of uncomfortable silence.

“Thank you,” Loki replied without enthusiasm.

“You’re not happy about it? Thor seemed happy.”

“I am -” Loki paused, “I am happy I could undo a little bit of the massive damage I caused.”

“Oh,” the Grandmaster said with understanding. He stroked Loki’s hair. “Loki,” he assured him, “the hammer will be ok.”

Loki swallowed audibly.

“Hey, hey, hey,” the Grandmaster said as he tilted Loki’s chin up to look him in the eyes, “if you can get _me_ to join your team of heroes then I’m sure Mel-more will be right as rain in no time.”

“But it’s never that easy,” Loki stated, carefully ignoring the fact that he had just been called a hero, “coming back from the dark, it’s never that easy, is it?”

“I guess not,” the Grandmaster replied in a surprisingly serious tone, “but, hey, we all kind of have each other now, huh? We can keep each other in check, and I don’t know, doesn’t that make it a little better? Doesn’t it, doesn’t it feel better to have other people who, uh, care and understand? I think,” he paused and added softly, “I kind of just realized how much better it feels.”

“Yes,” Loki replied after a time, and the Grandmaster hugged him close.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep? You seem tired,” the Grandmaster urged him.

“I am,” Loki admitted, and he closed his eyes. He dreamt of Thanos, of course, but also of Frigga telling him everything would be alright.

~

Over a breakfast that Loki was too anxious to eat, they planned for the upcoming fight. They would board Thanos’ ship, the Sanctuary II, on its way to Xandar. Xandar is where Thanos had acquired the Power Stone in the original timeline. But this time he wasn’t going to get the chance.

“So,” Tony asked the group, “is Thanos going to remember the other timeline?”

“No,” Loki answered, “normally anyone involved in resetting the timeline would retain memories of both versions. However, I performed a spell prior to the reset so that Thanos would only remember the new version.”

“Smart,” Tony replied, “so we have the element of surprise.”

Loki felt strange every time Tony spoke to him. He didn’t think he deserved Tony’s civility, but he was grateful for it.

“Indeed,” Thor agreed with a firm nod, “now, when we arrive, I imagine we will be met by those four lackies Thanos had by his side when he -” Thor skipped over part of the sentence, “so we shall have to defeat them first to get to him.”

“Ebony Maw, Cull Obsidian, Corvus Glaive and his wife, Proxima Midnight, who will be our biggest challenge,” Loki interjected, “the four of them are Thanos’ favorite ‘children,’ the highest members of The Black Order, and they are dangerously loyal to him. Disgustingly loyal,” he added, recalling his time with Thanos, “and, unfortunately, they are formidable opponents in battle.”

“You knew them before the attack on the Statesman?” Thor asked, sounding unsurprised and vaguely disapproving. 

“Unfortunately,” Loki admitted, “you see, after I,” he cleared his throat, “left Asgard the first time, I was picked up by Thanos’ ship. During my rather eventful time there I was lucky enough to meet a number of colorful characters,” he said gravely.

Thor looked at him with sudden concern. Loki pretended not to notice the expression, not wanting to be pitied. He proceeded to brief the group on what to expect in the fight with Thanos’ followers. As he shared the details of their weaknesses and abilities, Loki felt a bittersweet sense of gratification. With the sharing of this knowledge, at least his time with Thanos was having one positive consequence. 

Loki thought Heimdall would have a lot to say about who should do what in the battle, but he was quiet as Thor took the lead in planning their strategy. Even the Grandmaster seemed to be listening as Thor spoke, yet Loki observed that Heimdall’s gaze was vacant.

~

After breakfast Thor went to Tony’s gym to calm his mind with some exercise. He had left Mjolnir alone in the guestroom he had slept in and hadn’t closed the door. Loki stepped in cautiously.

“Mjolnir,” he began, “I wanted to,” Loki realized this was going to be difficult without Thor to convey Mjolnir’s sentiments, but he wanted to speak with Mjolnir in private, “to see how you are. I know you can’t answer, and I imagine that must be terribly frustrating. But I hope it’s alright if I talk to you?”

He waited to make sure no green smoke or spikes of protest were going to appear. Nothing happened, and he took that as a sign to go on.

“I know what we did when I was in your aura, that it helped, tipped the scale in your favor, and Thor says you are well now, in control of the dark magic. But I know too that it doesn’t just make everything all better, because there’s no simple solution for something like this,” he struggled to find his point, “because I know it’s very complicated and, well, I know you went through -” he paused to re-approach the sentence, “I cannot imagine what you went through in Hel, but I know things like that, things like trauma, and darkness, they don’t just go away. They have become a part of us, and we cannot cut them out of ourselves. We must simply try and learn to live with them. It’s awful much of the time. It is a fight, a battle every moment.”

He stared at Mjolnir, not knowing what he expected.

“Like things that happened to me, and,” he added reluctantly, “things I’ve done. They cannot be undone and,” he felt himself starting to babble, “there’s the guilt, over the harm I caused, and the feeling that I deserved the pain I received, and I was thinking that perhaps it is like that for you, in terms of the years you spent with Hela prior to Bonding to Thor, and probably being with her again in Hel brought all that up, I would suppose, I would guess, it would for me,” he felt like he had forgotten to breathe for a few minutes and took a deep inhale, “and then there’s the trauma, from those terrible things you maybe feel like you deserved, like whatever happened to you in Hel, and like,” he rushed to say the next words quickly before he ran out of nerve to say them, “what happened to me with Thanos.”

There was a long, awkward silence and Loki wondered if he ought to give up and leave.

“So, I understand how it is, I know how it feels, what some people don’t understand - that there’s no quick fix,” he continued his attempt at expressing himself, “no spell, no trinket, to just make it all go away.”

He felt out of words. He had failed to convey what he wanted to say. He closed his eyes and sighed in frustration. 

“I think what I mean is,” Loki tried once more, “you are not alone.”


	14. Only If I Die

This time, Thanos was surprised. Loki had spelled their Bifrost to land undetectably, and they boarded the Sanctuary II with stealth. Thor snuck up and used Mjolnir to take out Cull Obsidian before anyone had even noticed their arrival. His body landed heavily, knocking over a shelf of tall glass bottles which shattered against the floor, their liquid contents spilling. Thanos’ remaining three favorite underlings turned and aimed their weapons at Thor. Only Proxima Midnight gave a respectful glance to Cull Obsidian’s lifeless form before joining her siblings in looking to Thanos for instruction. 

Loki enjoyed the disconcerted expression on Thanos’ face. He relished the sight of the Gauntlet with the spaces for the Infinity Stones still beautifully vacant. He looked Thanos in the eyes and grinned.

“Well,” Thanos said to Loki, arranging his face to appear smug once again and signaling his devotees to stand down, “if it isn’t my most disappointing child come for a visit.” He sat in his imposingly tall stone chair with his surviving three favorite children standing to either side of him. They awaited his word.

“I am _not_ your child,” Loki spat, feeling his face flush.

“No?” Thanos replied, “I found you, alone, rejected by those who claimed to care for you, exiled from the place you called home. I took you in, Asgardian, and I guided you, like I have done for all my children.” He gave a sanctimonious smile to Ebony Maw, who bowed his head gratefully.

Loki was too enraged to speak.

“And like any proud parent, I wanted you to succeed. I entrusted you with the Mind Stone,” Thanos recounted, raising his voice for a moment before bringing if back to its eerily calm tone, “and not only did you fail to bring me the Space Stone, but you lost the Mind Stone as well. You failed me, utterly and completely. And now here you are before me - what? Begging for forgiveness? Searching for redemption?”

Without thinking, Loki threw one of his daggers at Thanos’ head. Ebony Maw raised his hand and used his powers of telekinesis to halt it in the air. Corvus Glaive gripped his mighty scythe, poised to charge at Loki, but Thanos put up a hand to stop him.

“We aren’t done our chat yet,” Thanos declared.

“Oh joy,” Loki replied dryly.

Thanos locked eyes with him and grinned – a particularly disturbing grin of familiarity and cruelty. Loki didn’t let himself show what he was feeling.

“We have come here to end you,” he informed Thanos with keenly calculated confidence.

“Oh, is that why,” Thanos asked with condescension, “or is it because you know, deep down, that you owe me a debt?” He stood and stepped too close, then bent low to bring his face near to Loki’s. “You’ve come to join my family once again. And to make it up to me.”

With his head so close Loki knew that Thanos would notice any small hint of emotion on his face. He steadied his expression and posture, making himself still and cold as ice. Inside he was struggling not to fall into that broken place, that place in his mind where the memories of his suffering were branded, where he was reliving them whenever he let his guard down. 

“We have come here to end you,” Loki repeated.

“All right then,” Thanos replied with a condescending chuckle, “if you insist.” 

With a casual gesture he signaled for his children to attack, then sat back down on his throne to watch. 

“Alright, alright, alright,” the Grandmaster said excitedly as he revealed one of the Orbs, “here we go.” 

“What do we have here,” Ebony Maw asked, and with a beckoning motion of his fingers used his power to snatch the Orb from the Grandmaster’s grip. It floated through the air and into Ebony Maw’s hands. He passed it to Thanos, who examined it curiously. 

“Oh no you didn’t,” the Grandmaster said. His tone was dead serious, but he gave Loki the briefest of winks before arranging his face into a picture of cold rage and continuing, “that is _mine_.” He stepped forward and placed his hands on his hips as he stuck out his chest, his pose confident and threatening. Corvus Glaive moved to stab the Grandmaster in the heart with his scythe, but Tony touched the unit in the center of his own chest and soon he was wearing his nanotech suit. He flew overhead and Corvus Glaive’s hand was hit with a blast from Tony’s palm. 

“Aw, that was so sweet,” the Grandmaster told Tony, “but it wouldn’t have harmed me, no, no, no, I’m made of tough stuff.” He winked exaggeratedly at Corvus Glaive, who had been knocked to the floor by Tony’s blast. Tony made a muffled chuckle at the wink and flew to help Thor who was fighting off Proxima Midnight with lightning bolts. She was deflecting them with discharges of blue energy from her unique three-pronged spear and Thor was looking very annoyed. Heimdall had joined the action as well but seemed to be fighting only defensively.

“Where did he go?” Thanos suddenly exclaimed. 

“I don’t know,” Corvus Glaive replied breathlessly, “Proxima, did you see where the one in the gold robe went? He was just here a moment ago.” There was a slight panic in Corvus Glaive’s voice.

“Fear not, husband,” she replied between blasts of her spear, “after we destroy the others, we will hunt him down.” 

Loki heard the exchange, but the voices seemed muted. He could hear other sounds too – grunts and the whoosh of air rushing against metal - but they all seemed far away. He was aware of the battle evolving around him, but all Loki could do was stare at Thanos. He knew he should be fighting, but he was stuck. He didn’t even notice when Ebony Maw’s casual gesture sent a shard of glass to slash his cheek. Loki brought his hand to the wound, startled back to awareness. Ebony Maw was watching him with a self-satisfied expression.

“You were never good enough to be a part of this family,” Ebony Maw began to preach, “those who have failed the great Thanos deserve to be punished. Now you will see what has come to pass as a consequence of your botched attempts to prove your value, and now that you have brought your friends here, you have ensured their deaths as well. They will die by the will of Thanos and as such their deaths will mean more than their lives ever did. As will yours, and you -” 

Loki cut off the speech with a stream of his magic shot directly at Ebony Maw’s infuriating mouth. His telekinesis was useless against the swirls of Loki’s power, but Ebony Maw tried nonetheless, gesturing violently as the cloud of magic approached him. Fortunately, Loki’s magic was corporeal only when he chose, and Ebony Maw’s efforts were futile. Loki formed his magic into a gag. Ebony Maw yelled a muffled objection as Loki held his energy on the fine line between tangible and intangible – just out of Ebony Maw’s control. 

“I can’t tell you how good it feels to shut you up.”

Loki heard Thor cheering in the background as he sent another strip of his magic to encircle Ebony Maw’s wrists and pin them firmly to his sides. He struggled as the green glow of Loki’s magic engulfed his hands, rendering them immobile. Loki knew that Ebony Maw needed his hands in order to channel his telekinetic power, but it was clear from the expression on his face that Ebony Maw was trying anyway. He stared at the remaining shards of glass on the floor and jerked his head aggressively toward Loki, but nothing happened. Loki smirked.

But then he heard Tony cry out and Loki turned his head. Proxima Midnight’s spear was stabbed into Tony’s side and the nanoparticles of his suit were parted around the wound. 

Thor shouted a battle cry as he threw Mjolnir at Proxima Midnight. She was knocked back by the impact, but grabbed her weapon along the way, gashing open Tony’s flesh as her spear was torn out of him. Tony grunted in pain, then strained to move the arm of his suit to point at the wound, but before anything happened, he coughed blood and passed out. 

Loki stepped toward where Tony lay bleeding, but Corvus Glaive attacked him on his way. Loki used his hands and daggers to defend himself. He had been planning to use a healing incantation on Tony, but it needed to be spoken in close proximity. Loki knew how quickly Midgardians bled out and Corvus Glaive was delaying him for too long.

_“Tell the Grandmaster he has to come out of the first Orb earlier than planned,”_ Loki called silently into Heimdall’s mind, _“tell him Tony is injured, we need to put him into one of the Orbs to heal him. The Grandmaster has the second Orb on his person, we cannot use either if he doesn’t come out. Heimdall, quickly,”_ Loki added.

He received no response, telepathic or otherwise.

“Heimdall,” Loki shouted aloud as his combat with Corvus Glaive continued. In his peripheral vision, Loki saw Mjolnir whizzing by on the way to Thor’s hand.

“Heimdall,” Thor bellowed, and Loki knew that Thor must have been having the same silent, one-sided conversation with Heimdall that he was. Glancing over for a moment, Loki saw that Thor’s one eye was radiant with the power of his lightning. 

Heimdall remained quiet and Loki peered around Corvus Glaive to look at him. Heimdall was standing still and rigid as a statue, showing consciousness only with his eyes, which precisely followed the movement of Corvus Glaive’s distinctive scythe. His expression was dark. Suddenly Loki understood. Heimdall was looking at the weapon that Thanos had used to kill him. 

“Heimdall, what the Hel are you doing?” Thor roared in Asgardian as he continued to fight Proxima Midnight. Mjolnir came to Thor and he punched Proxima Midnight with Mjolnir in his hand, lighting crackling violently. She was struck, but responded with a kick to his jaw that was forceful enough to disorient Thor for a moment. She used the moment to propel her spear toward his chest. He blocked it but was an instant too late to evade it entirely, and it sunk into his shoulder. 

“I’m fine,” Thor groaned before Loki had a chance to ask. Thor grasped Mjolnir by the short leather strap at the end of the shaft that supported Mjolnir’s vast head. He spun Mjolnir’s weight clockwise, picking up speed and creating a gust of wind which blew Proxima back. “Heimdall,” he called again as he glanced at Tony, “come on, he’s dying.”

Heimdall shook his head hazily and snuck behind Corvus Glaive with slow, purposeful movements. Silently, he drew back Hofund, and before anyone even had a chance to react, he had sliced Corvus Glaive’s head clean off his shoulders.

Proxima Midnight screamed as her husband’s decapitated body fell to the floor. She ran to him, abandoning her fight with Thor and letting her spear drop from her hand. Thor confiscated her weapon but let her go, his face sympathetic. It was too late for Corvus, of course. He had died in an instant, but Proxima kneeled over his remains and called his name.

“Father,” she said to Thanos, her voice breaking. She sounded as though she was calling for comfort. 

But Thanos gave barely a glance to Glaive’s corpse.

“Father,” she screamed, “how can you care so little? How could you just sit there and watch his life be taken, doing nothing? He was your child, he did all that you commanded, he was loyal…” her voice trailed off as she picked up her husband’s detached head. She stared at it for a long moment. Loki thought they ought to be attacking her, taking her out in this moment of vulnerability, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. From the look of it, neither could Thor. Heimdall was standing frozen again, his face unreadable as he stared at Corvus Glaive’s scythe, now in his hand. 

“Well,” Thanos told Proxima coldly, “he failed me in the end, didn’t he?”

“He died trying to protect you,” she screamed.

“‘Try’ being the operative word. He tried and yet, here my enemies stand, alive and fighting,” he said, gesturing around the space, “trying only goes so far when one fails.” He looked pointedly at Loki, who stared back with guarded eyes.

“You are supposed to love us,” Proxima cried out, her voice heavy with rage and her tears falling freely, “you said we were a family.”

“Stop your blubbering and fight, girl,” he commanded.

She held out her hand for her spear, summoning it to her, but Loki snatched it from the air and tucked it safely away in his aura. With an impassioned vocalization Proxima Midnight drew a sword from her back and lunged at Heimdall, who remained motionless, eyes still fixed on the scythe in his grip.

“Loki,” Thor yelled as he moved to defend Heimdall from the ferocious Proxima, “help Tony.”

Loki rushed to Tony who lay where he had fallen, unconscious and bleeding, pale and cold. There was no time to wait for Heimdall to break free of his trance and contact the Grandmaster. Loki would have to heal Tony himself. He chanted the strongest healing incantation he knew, but Proxima Midnight’s spear must have held an unfamiliar brand of magic because the wound didn’t respond to his words. 

Gathering his power, Loki brought his hand over the injury. Healing magic was an art of precision, and he closed his eyes to focus. A slim line of green energy began to radiate from his palm. He opened his eyes and used his fingertip to control it, stitching the wound together as if with thread. The string of Loki’s magic glowed strongly, yet the stitching kept coming undone. The power left behind by the spear was rejecting it.

There was a lot of blood, and Loki knew all too well how fragile Midgardian lives were. But, as always, Loki had another idea.

~

_Once he had entered Tony’s aura, Loki felt guilty to have been so invasive. He hoped Tony would understand that it was necessary in order to heal him._

_“Tony?” Loki called cautiously._

_“What the hell,” he heard Tony ask, “Loki? What are you doing, where are you, stop it,” he commanded. Beneath its threatening tone, panic was evident in Tony’s disembodied voice._

_“You are injured, and I came into your aura to heal you. If I leave now, you might die.”_

_There was a long stretch of silence._

_“So, let me get this straight: you just invaded my aura, which is apparently a thing, but you say you’re here to save me. Thing is, seems like entering a guy’s aura without consent is the sort of thing the allegedly ‘old’ you would do. You say it’s to help, but we all know lying is one of your turn-ons. So. Why should I believe_ you _?” Tony asked accusatorily._

_“I have no idea,” Loki admitted._

_He waited for permission to proceed, but after a few moments of silence he spoke again._

_“Time is short,” he told Tony, “the battle is going on around us. We are both unconscious. Thor is guarding our bodies, but we must be quick about it. Please,” he added, “may I help you?”_

_“Fine, okay,” Tony answered after a brief pause, “but this doesn’t mean I trust you.”_

_Loki nodded, and began to search for the wound’s projection. The injury was serious enough that Loki knew he would find its energetic effect near to the core of Tony’s aura. He knew, too, that the closer to the core the magic of the spear had taken hold, the harder it would be to heal._

_He made his way through softly lit hallways and up and down spirals of staircases. There were metal panels on the walls with codes carved into their golden surfaces. Loki was curious, but he resisted the urge to try and decipher them._

_“So, I’m just lying there waiting to be saved, huh? Guess I really bungled it,” Tony said suddenly._

_“Proxima Midnight has injured many a great warrior. You are an asset to the team,” Loki said, hoping that was comforting._

_“Seems more like I was a liability.”_

_“I’ve learned that everyone needs saving sometimes,” Loki said, wondering after the fact if it was too familiar, then worrying that it may have come off as condescending._

_“Yeah,” Tony replied vaguely. He sounded neither especially offended, nor especially heartened._

_“And remember the battle is not over yet,” Loki added, “plenty of opportunities left for heroics.”_

_Just then he saw it – a wide split in one of the metal panels high on the wall of a narrow hallway._

_“Here it is,” he told Tony as he used his magic to create steps so that he could kneel in front of the opening. Loki peered into the break and saw blood and bone hidden beneath the metal exterior. He drew forth a fine thread of his magic once again and began to sew the metal together, his fingertip the needle that guided the string’s direction. The metal was warm to the touch, but not pliable, and Loki strengthened the glowing green cord of his magic and stitched with firm, precise tugs._

_Tony’s voice made a wincing sound, like he was sucking air through his teeth._

_“Does it hurt? I’m sorry.”_

_“It’s fine,” Tony replied._

_Loki concentrated on his work, and they both remained silent for the time it took Loki to finish sewing the metal edges together. Once he had stitched a reinforced row over the entire length, the crack sealed with a creaking sound, and Tony gasped._

~ 

Tony’s eyes fluttered open. He reached for the wound, which had healed.

“Are you well?” Loki asked, sitting up beside him.

“Yeah,” Tony said with vaguely shielded awe, “thanks.”

Loki cleared his throat, feeling bizarre that one of his former victims should be showing him gratitude.

“You’re welcome.”

Loki looked down to hide his flushed face and was taken entirely by surprise when the large shard of glass stabbed through his shoulder. He turned and saw that Ebony Maw had freed one of his hands from Loki’s magical binding. Loki realized that his work in Tony’s aura must have taxed his power, giving Ebony Maw the ability to push through. 

“Aren’t you dead yet, sycophant,” Loki spat as he pulled the glass out with a groan of pain. He moved to send a blast of violent energy from his hand, but another piece of glass came flying and pierced through his palm. A third shard flew into his other hand, passing through it and pinning it to his thigh where it had lay.

“Let us see how you like it,” Ebony Maw said bitterly. He had freed his mouth now, as well as his other hand.

“Damn, I was so hoping the gag at least would persevere.”

“So say we all, brother,” yelled Thor from the other side of the room where he was still fighting Proxima Midnight in defense of a trauma-stricken Heimdall.

“Don’t worry, brother,” Loki replied, “I’ll shut him up again.” He moved to stand, but it was hard to steady himself with the glass through his hands.

“Wait,” Tony said, reaching for him. He used a device formed from the arm of his suit to dissolve the glass. They both stood up.

“Thank -” Loki began, but then Ebony Maw used his telekinesis to lift a large stone chair from across the room and send it flying at speed toward Loki. Loki raised his hand to create a shield with his magic, but when the energy started to vibrate in his palm he called out in pain from the wounds which had not yet had time to heal. He was about to use an incantation when a beam from Tony’s suit cut through the stone of the chair mid-flight. There was a small explosion of dust and its pieces clunked heavily to the floor. Ebony Maw picked up a second, matching chair, and grinned slyly at Tony as he held it menacingly in the air.

“What is this animal even doing with you,” he asked Loki smugly, his eyes still fixed on Tony as he spoke, “this _human_ ,” he said with contempt, “he isn’t worthy of this battle, he is not worthy of standing against the great Thanos, nor even of being near to him. Tell him he should be grateful to be in Thanos’ holy presence. Tell him this is a treat. What a grand day it must be for the little one, hmm?” Ebony Maw smirked, then continued, “ah, humans, they are just pitiful. One of the weakest, most useless races – but this one, he pretends. Yes, this one plays dress up, with his little suit, with all its little tricks, his little disguise, so no one sees the truth, that he is just a small, insignificant -”

Loki was glad to have caught Tony’s spectacular eyeroll as a small missile appeared on the back of his suit and was propelled precisely through the air. Highly directional, it halved the suspended chair on its way to where Ebony Maw stood, and when the smoke of the explosion cleared there was only ash.

Thanos, who had ducked away from the detonation, stood up and scowled threateningly, seeming to care that the Maw was gone. Ebony Maw had been Thanos’ favorite child, out of those who still followed him. Even so, Thanos had sat and watched his final battle as though it were theater. 

The sound of the small blast startled Heimdall back to alertness, and he lifted Hofund and looked around, eyes darting. Proxima Midnight and Thor continued to fight, though Thor had found time for a hearty cheer at Ebony Maw’s defeat. Once he no longer had to defend a vulnerable Heimdall, Thor began to win the struggle. Soon he had Proxima pinned, her sword thrown out of her reach. He raised a crackling Mjolnir above his head, then hesitated, and Loki could see the conflict on his face. Proxima looked to Thanos, who met her eyes, but did nothing. She grunted in anger and revealed a gantlet blade which she used to stab Thor in the stomach. He groaned and rolled off her and she climbed on top, pressing the blade to his throat. There she paused.

“Heimdall,” Thor called, and Loki could tell from his expression that he had meant to say it telepathically. Loki and Tony looked back and forth between Thor and Heimdall’s faces. Though their conversation was unheard, Loki presumed from context that Thor had told Heimdall to contact the Grandmaster. 

_“Tell Thor not yet, that isn’t the plan,”_ Loki spoke into Heimdall’s mind, _“we agreed we were to kill all four of them first. Tony is healed now, there is no reason to abandon our strategy.”_

_“Thor believes Proxima Midnight should be spared,”_ Heimdall replied.

Loki wasn’t surprised, and he understood Thor’s thought process: perhaps Proxima, like Loki, could be redeemed. Loki agreed it was possible but was concerned about the risk. After the events of the battle, maybe Proxima would turn against Thanos. Maybe she would rebel against her conditioning and remember Thanos as the villain who murdered half of her planet when she was only a child. But maybe she would remain loyal to her perceived father. Maybe Proxima Midnight would aid Thanos in the most crucial of moments and destroy everything they had worked so hard for. Too much was at stake to be dealing in maybes. 

And yet, Loki found he agreed with Thor.

_“Very well then,”_ Loki told Heimdall silently, _“tell the Grandmaster to reveal himself.”_

~

Thanos dropped the first Orb, startled as it began to shake in his hand.

“What is this?”

Everyone watched as the Orb opened. The specks of the Grandmaster’s being poured from the crack in the metal, then gradually joined together to form the whole. The assembly of dots was a small, intangible clump at first, but as his body solidified, it became clear that the Grandmaster was using his powers to re-form at many times his normal size. 

“Ow, ow, ow,” the Grandmaster whined as his head hit the ceiling, “you should have a bigger ship,” he told Thanos as he towered over him. 

“Nice,” Tony said, looking up at the Grandmaster.

“Oh, you like?” he grinned, “just a little something I whipped up to impress uh, Thanos, is it?” He smirked wickedly.

Thanos stepped back a few paces but the Grandmaster followed him, keeping their bodies close. Thanos was mighty in stature yet he appeared the size of a child next to the enlarged form of the Grandmaster. Although it was an enormous ship, the Grandmaster was far too tall now for the Sanctuary II. He hunched over, bending so his head and chest hovered menacingly above where Thanos stood.

“Who are you?” Thanos asked, trying to pretend he wasn’t flustered.

“You can call me Grandmaster,” he replied with a wide grin, “or really, you can’t call me anything, because you’re about to die.” He smiled pleasantly. “Bye-bye!” The Grandmaster waved at Thanos, wiggling his fingers with enthusiasm.

“Defend me, girl, this is your chance to earn my favor and -” Thanos began to say to Proxima Midnight, but he was too late because the Grandmaster had already begun to draw his existence code into the Orb. 

“Father,” Proxima screamed, releasing Thor and rushing to grasp uselessly at the last flecks of Thanos as they were sucked into the Orb. It sealed with a sharp sound, and the Grandmaster tossed and caught it in his gigantic hand a few times.

“Your kill, Sweetpea,” he said as he casually threw the Orb down to Loki. But Proxima jumped and plucked it from the air. She stared at the Orb, and they all waited eagerly for her next action.

“Proxima,” Loki said cautiously after a time. She raised her head to face him.

“He never loved any of us.”

Proxima looked from Loki to the Orb, and then to Corvus Glaive’s body which still lay where it had fallen. She swallowed a sob at the sight of her dead husband, then turned her face away from him. She looked down at the ash that was once Ebony Maw, and then to Cull Obsidian’s lifeless form. She shook her head.

“Father,” she whispered to the Orb, but then she handed it to Loki. “Nothing matters anymore,” she told him in a vacant tone, “kill him, kill me, I do not care any longer. I see it now. This has all been for nothing. Everything I have done for him. Cruel. Meaningless.” She removed her gauntlet blade and tossed it aside, then pulled a number of additional weapons from her person and dropped them to the floor.

“Wha?” asked the Grandmaster as he cupped his ear, the voice of his large size booming, “am I not hearing right from up here? Is she surrendering? Is this a trick?”

Loki looked at the Orb he now held. It was difficult to process the fact that he literally had Thanos in the palm of his hand. Suddenly he felt that terrible, falling sensation that so often plagued him. He tried to resist. This was not the time to let the wounds of his trauma swallow him. But it was too late. The rest of the ship was fading away. The Orb seemed to glare as though a shaft of blinding light was being reflected against its metal, but when Loki looked around he found himself in darkness.

“Brother, what are you waiting for?” he heard Thor call to him, only his voice seemed very far away. Loki opened his mouth to answer but there was no sound. 

“Loki,” Heimdall shouted, but it was no use; Loki had been drawn into his own mind.

~ 

_“A hero is one who finds the goodness in his heart and listens to it,” Frigga’s voice told him again, but when Loki looked up he saw it was Thanos who spoke her words._

_“You are no hero,” Loki told him._

_“And you are?” Thanos asked, speaking in his own voice now. Loki was bound to the table and Thanos was looking down at him. Loki tried to remind himself that this wasn’t really happening, but that never worked._

_“I never said that.”_

_“We are the same, child.”_

_“Do not call me that.”_

_Thanos raised his hand. He was wearing the Infinity Gauntlet and it was complete with all the Stones. The Reality Stone began to glow as a scene appeared before them._

_“In the end,” Loki witnessed another version of himself saying to a crowd, “you will always kneel.”_

_“I remember,” the current Loki snapped at Thanos, “I remember everything I did, there is no need to show me.”_

_But the Thanos of Loki’s imagination didn’t obey, and Loki was flooded with images of all the lives he had taken, of all the pain he had caused._

_“And yet,” Thanos said, cutting off the stream of violent images suddenly, “you were allowed the opportunity to redeem.”_

_Loki looked up into Thanos’ eyes and he saw it – a ghost of something, a flash revealed and hidden in an instant - it was twisted and thorned and covered in blood, but it was there, underneath everything, it was there: the potential for goodness._

_“No,” Loki yelled in disbelief. Thanos set down the knife he had been holding._

_“Why not? You are the only villain who deserves a happy ending?”_

_“Happy ending?” Loki replied through gritted teeth, “you murdered me.”_

_“Ah, but that was not your ending, now, was it?”_

_Loki was silent._

_“Everything I did, I did to achieve a goal,” Thanos explained, “the goal of saving the universe from itself. That is goodness. That is the goodness I found in my heart. And I listened to it.”_

_“No,” Loki whispered harshly._

_“Is that not what makes a hero? And yet, I am deemed a villain. And you, who took innocent lives for your own petty reasons, you will be recorded in history as a hero? As the hero who defeated me?”_

_“Yes,” Loki said with feigned confidence, “yes, that is exactly what I shall do.”_

_“Mmm,” Thanos replied thoughtfully, “and when you murder me, will it be because you are a hero, or because you are vengeful?”_

_Loki felt unable to speak. He thought perhaps Thanos had cut out his tongue, but then Loki saw that the knife was still on the table beside him, unbloodied. This was not like Loki’s usual flashbacks. Loki wondered if Thanos was somehow communicating with Loki from inside the Orb – perhaps this was the true Thanos who spoke to him, and not merely a creation of Loki’s wounded mind._

_“And when you murder me,” Thanos went on, “will you recall the times you were almost murdered for being a villain, and will you thank whoever you believe in for the fact that you survived those moments?”_

_Loki shook his head in slow terror._

_“And will you wonder what I could have been, had I been given that chance? Will you wonder, in the end, if you were the villain after all? Yes,” Thanos said, his presence moving too close, “I think that you will. You will always wonder. You will see my eyes in yours and you will regret what you stole from me.”_

_“Your chance,” Loki said in a haze._

_“Yes, child.”_

_“Your chance to find redemption.”_

~

Loki watched his fingers enter the code to open the Orb. Everyone except Proxima and the Grandmaster shouted overlapping words of protest. Loki avoided their gazes. They didn’t understand what it was like to be deemed a villain. They couldn’t understand. As Thanos’ body began to re-form itself outside of the Orb, Loki extended his arm and a green-tinted transparent bubble formed around the space where Thanos was about to be.

“What have you done, Loki?” Heimdall asked, aghast.

“End this, brother,” Thor bellowed.

“Aw, come on, come on, friends, relax,” the Grandmaster said, “he just wants to have a lil’ fun with Grapey before he kills him. Right Sweetpea?”

Loki shook his head but said nothing.

Thanos finished solidifying in the contained area Loki had created. He pounded on the surface with his massive fists, straining to break free. He looked around, failing to hide his confusion. Loki saw Proxima carefully step out of Thanos’ line of vision.

“Thanos,” Loki began, “did you just speak to me? Just now, before I let you out? Did we talk?”

“What the hell are you going on about, boy?” Thanos asked irritably.

It had been an imaginary Thanos after all, who spoke of redemption. And yet, Loki felt the gravity of his words as though he had been real.

“Thanos,” Loki said again, “I was about to end you.”

“But you failed? Like always?”

“No,” Loki replied, trying to keep his voice steady but unthreatening, “I wanted to talk to you first.”

Thanos laughed bitterly.

“Go on then,” he said with a smirk that Loki now saw as sad, “I can’t go anywhere at the moment, so I suppose I’m listening.”

“I know that you have suffered much loss - your home, your people. I know there has been pain.”

“What is this?” Thanos asked angrily, “torturing me via pity?”

“No,” Loki went on, “I am telling you I understand what fuels your choices.”

“Wisdom fuels my choices,” Thanos’ voice boomed, “I can see more clearly than anyone ever has, and that is why I am the only one who can rescue the universe.”

“The thing we can too easily forget though,” Loki tried, “is that each of the lives we take, even if it’s for a greater goal which we believe to be just - the lives still matter. Each one matters. Can you see that? Can you try?”

Thanos only glared.

“I forgot it for too long a time,” Loki continued, “it can be hard to remember it again, once we have buried it, beneath our pain and anger.”

“Just kill me already,” Thanos said flatly.

“It helps to think about someone dear to you,” Loki went on, “think about a person you care about, and how you would feel if they died. And then remember that everyone you kill has people who care about them as well.”

“And I take no pleasure in their suffering,” Thanos replied, “but it is necessary.”

Loki sighed.

“Brother,” Thor yelled angrily, “you cannot reason with this monster. Kill him and let us rejoice. This is what we came here to do – to kill him, not to save him.”

“Brother, you saved _me_ ,” Loki said to Thor without taking his eyes off of Thanos, “it must be possible to save him too. If it is real for me, if I am truly saved, then it has to be possible for anyone, for him, despite everything, it has to be…” Loki trailed off.

“You are not like him,” Thor declared firmly.

“Aren’t I?”

Thanos snickered. 

“I’m trying to help you,” Loki told him desperately.

“I know,” Thanos replied, “that’s what makes it so funny.”

“Loki,” Heimdall said in a steady voice, “think of everything he took from us, think of everything he will take from us again if we do not destroy him here and now.”

Out of the corner of his eye Loki spotted Proxima, still hiding from Thanos’ sight. Loki met her gaze and she gave him a small nod. Was Loki standing in defense of Thanos after even Proxima Midnight had turned against him? Loki saw the absurdity of his own actions, and yet he could not change course.

“Thanos,” he said, “I know you feel you have an important mission, but perhaps we can find another solution, another way to approach the issue.”

“There is no other way,” Thanos told him, “you think I have not thought about that? You think mass murder was my first choice? It wasn’t, but I am brave and so I do what is needed, no matter how difficult, or painful.”

And with those words Thanos punched through his enclosure, and Loki stumbled back, startled that his magic had not held up to Thanos’ power.

“You have missed your chance, foolish Asgardian,” Thanos said as he approached with slow, ominous movements, “and now it is _I_ who will end _you_.”

“Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster called with an attention-grabbing whistle, then tossed the Melt Stick to Loki.

“I can’t believe I ever thought you had potential. What a waste of my efforts. What a disappointment. You are worthless, boy, you complete and utter failure,” Thanos told Loki, who had caught the Melt Stick neatly in his hand. Thanos glanced at it then added, “your toys will not save you from me. I cannot be defeated by some trinket. I am a Titan. I am a -”

After his failed attempt to help Thanos redeem, Loki thought that defeating him would no longer be gratifying. But he was wrong. As he watched Thanos’ being melt gradually into bubbling purple ooze at his feet, Loki listened with satisfaction to the screams of his enemy and to the cheers of his teammates. He became very aware of the part of him that Thanos had long ago torn open. The split sides within his being were knitting loosely together now, and a long-standing shakiness in Loki’s center was steadying to a gentle sway. Though he knew that the scars of his experiences with Thanos would always remain, when Loki looked at the smoking puddle on the floor, a tender wave of tranquility smoothed over him.


	15. The Sun Will Shine On Us Again

It was good to hear Thor’s booming laugh. In the dining hall of the Palace, Loki smiled fondly from the other end of the table as he watched his brother merrily telling a tale to Heimdall. He was miming punches, his long yellow hair swinging from the vigor of his movements as he recounted some glorious battle. Heimdall was listening closely.

“Look, Sweetpea,” the Grandmaster said, returning to his wide-backed wooden chair with an ornate gold plate of colorful food in hand, “we haven’t had this before, Korg said it’s a new recipe he just came up with! No one else has even had it yet! Try it, try it, try it with me!”

Loki let the Grandmaster feed him a spoonful and found the taste pleasing. He smiled and nodded approvingly, and the Grandmaster looked thrilled.

“You like? Because I think it would be great for the party next week. I’m working on the menu now and I think this dish would go really well with the color scheme.”

“Which party is this?” Loki asked. Once Thor had agreed that the duties of New Asgard’s Event Planner would include suggesting occasions for celebration, Loki had come to find it difficult to keep track of the revelry. 

“You don’t remember?” the Grandmaster asked, looking disappointed, “it’s the third anniversary of New Asgard’s creation!”

“New Asgard’s creation was two years ago, in April, and we already celebrated it this year.”

“No, no, no,” the Grandmaster replied with an exaggerated shake of his head, “that was the anniversary of New Asgard being declared an independent country, silly. This is the anniversary of the first shop being built here, uh, back when it was still just a wee chunk of Norway.”

“We celebrated that two months ago.”

_“No,”_ the Grandmaster said dramatically, “ _that_ was the anniversary of the first _house_ being built. Or, uh, unless you meant the anniversary of the first stable being built, which is also in June.”

Loki chuckled softly, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to the Grandmaster’s for a long, gentle moment. He pulled away and looked at the Grandmaster’s face, which was warm and vulnerable.

“Tell me more about the plans for the party,” Loki said, and the Grandmaster smiled with delight.

~

“I know you have many sets of daggers already,” Eitri told Loki the next morning, “but, I made you something.”

He riffled through the many bags on the large cart of new weapons he had brought. Eitri had declined Thor’s invitation to reside in New Asgard, electing not to abandon Nidavellir, despite being the only living being there. As a balm to the loneliness of such a situation, Eitri made regular visits to New Asgard, and often came with stunning, unique gifts.

He found what he was looking for and presented a set of daggers. Their gold colored blades glinted in the sunlight, and the handles were black leather with two silky looking green bands running around the top edge.

“They are just beautiful, thank you,” Loki said, feeling touched at the sight of them. He reached out to take them, but they immediately came to him of their own accord. They flew into his hands and he grasped them, and it felt perfect.

“They Bonded to you right away, just as I expected,” Eitri said, looking pleased, “and now they will come only to you.”

“How did you get them to Bond to me?” Loki asked in amazement.

“Well, I can’t _tell_ them who to choose, but I did tell them all about you,” Eitri replied, “and why I thought you would be a good match for them. Ultimately though, the choice was theirs to make.”

“They have sentience, like Mjolnir does?”

He nodded.

Loki fixed his eyes on his new daggers. He was filled with a sense of safety and power, but he couldn’t hear any words being spoken into his mind.

_“Hello,”_ Loki thought at them, _“I am so pleased to meet you both.”_

“Hello Loki,” one of the daggers said aloud. Loki startled, his body jerking back in surprise.

“We are pleased to meet you as well,” said the other dagger.

“You gave them voices,” Loki said to Eitri, a soft smile spreading over his face as the initial shock faded.

“Yes,” Eitri replied, “something I should have given Mjolnir. I was cruel not to try and find a way.”

“And you cannot give it to Mjolnir now?”

Eitri shook his head remorsefully.

“I have tried to figure it out, but even with my new level of skill, it seems to be beyond my capabilities to give Mjolnir a voice after the fact.”

Loki, too, had been attempting to work out a way to give Mjolnir a voice. He had tried various magical methods over the past three years, but he had not yet succeeded.

“Perhaps we can work together on it,” Loki suggested. 

~

“Good evening, Heimdall,” Eitri said with a polite incline of his head as he walked past him on the New Rainbow Bridge, which Heimdall had created using the Space Stone. “Loki, I’ll get started on what we planned, and we will work on it more next time.”

Loki nodded and gave a slight wave. Heimdall made a small nod as Eitri left, then locked the Bifrost again using Hofund as the key. His movements were precise, his expression focused, and where Loki once saw only sternness, he now recognized a deeply emotional devotion to honorable action. Loki watched him and reflected on Heimdall’s dedication.

“It must be very lonely for him,” Heimdall said sadly when Eitri was gone, “going back to a realm where he alone amongst his people has survived.”

“I, too, wish we could have saved them,” Loki replied softly.

“Yes,” Heimdall said with sorrow, “Asgard swore to protect Nidavellir, just as I swore to protect Asgard.”

“The people of Asgard could never ask for a better Protector than you, Heimdall,” Loki told him, “Asgard is a people, and had you not been so dedicated to protecting us, and all the realms we swore to protect, New Asgard would not exist. Indeed, half of the universe would not exist were it not for you. Never forget that.”

“I could not have done it without your assistance,” Heimdall said after a pause, a warm smile spreading over his face and crinkling the corners of his golden eyes.

“Well, I _am_ quite talented,” Loki replied with an easy smirk, and Heimdall chuckled. 

“I shall see you at breakfast tomorrow, Gatekeeper.”

“Good night, Loki.”

~

Loki found Proxima standing guard in her usual spot at the gates of New Asgard’s Midgardian boarder. Her body was rigid, and she held her spear propped up in front of her, her fingers gripping it firmly. 

“Thor said you declined his offer to have dinner with us at the Palace tomorrow night,” Loki said to her.

“Yes,” she answered briefly, her eyes alert but not looking at him.

“There are plenty of Guards under your command, you know. You’re not meant to take everything on yourself.”

“It is better this way,” she told him after a pause.

“Why is that?”

“I have a purpose when I am working, something to focus on, something that gives my existence worth. When I am not doing my job, I can feel only the parts of myself that I despise. I can think only of the things I did, before.”

Loki nodded with understanding. He tried to think of what to say.

“Though we all must take responsibility for our mistakes,” he ventured, “I do think it relevant that Thanos took you as a child and raised you to see the universe as he did. You were not even grown, and he murdered your family and stole you away and indoctrinated you with his evil agenda.”

She said nothing.

“And despite all that,” Loki continued, “you have found your way to good now.”

“But how many bodies had to fall by my hand before I got here.”

“All we can do is move forward.”

“And try to do good now,” she added after a time, her eyes finally meeting Loki’s. He nodded.

“So, will you come to dinner then?”

Proxima gave a smile so tiny Loki could just barely detect it.

~

The Grandmaster had gone to Valkyrie’s house for dinner, and so Loki sat beside Thor in the Palace dining room. Proxima had attended, but sat a distance away from everyone and declined Loki’s invitation to sit on his other side.

“And not only that,” Thor was saying, “my short-term predictions are getting more accurate all the time.”

“Show me,” Loki encouraged.

Thor pointed to a member of the kitchen staff who was carrying a large serving plate of roast chicken into the room. 

“In twenty-five seconds Korg is going to call her back to the kitchen. He is going to say these exact words: ‘Bring back that chicken, I need to rearrange the parsley.’ Wait -” Thor added, “twenty-two seconds now.”

As Thor spoke, Loki watched his face. A faint red glow in the center of Thor’s forehead blinked softly in and out of visibility as he wielded his power. If Loki had not been sitting so close, he wouldn’t have even detected it. Thor was getting better at using his clairvoyance with stealth. 

“Bring back that chicken,” Korg’s voice boomed, “I need to rearrange the parsley.”

Thor turned to Loki with an accomplished grin and Loki grinned back at him.

“Wonderful, brother,” Loki said with pride.

“Thank you,” Thor replied happily, “you and Heimdall are right about the practice. It all gets easier the more I do it.” Thor had been grumpy when Loki had first presented him with a list of practice exercises for further developing the various manifestations of his clairvoyant powers, but soon enough he had thrown himself into his studies.

“Your Majesty,” the woman said as she set down the plate of chicken in front of Thor, “apologies for the delay.”

“No need to apologize,” Thor announced merrily, “the perfect parsley was worth the wait.”

~

“He does like to make an entrance, doesn’t he,” Loki said to Thor as they watched Tony’s private plane land in the exact center of the Palace grounds. It was a different private plane than the one he’d landed in last visit.

“Friend,” Thor exclaimed when he wrapped Tony up in an aggressively affectionate hug.

“Hey there buddy,” Tony chuckled as he hugged him back.

“Hey Loki,” Tony said in an affable tone after Thor had released him.

“Hello Tony,” Loki replied with a small smile, “welcome.” With each of Tony’s visits, their interactions grew less awkward.

“Come,” Thor told Tony, “the Grandmaster has prepared a surprise in honor of your visit.”

Tony smirked. Though the visits were frequent, the Grandmaster always threw parties in honor of Tony’s arrival.

“Gotta’ appreciate a guy who knows how to party,” Tony said as he followed Thor inside. It was a bit of a walk to the Palace doors, and the three of them made their way down the dirt paths and past the gardens. Like most of New Asgard, the Palace grounds had been built to replicate Asgard’s original arrangement as closely as possible. There were certain differences, though, and Loki felt a familiar anticipatory sadness as they approached one of the alterations. Reluctantly Loki glanced at the memorial for those lost at Ragnarok, which now sat in the center of the main garden. Lists of names were carved into the stone, tiny letters forming a thick band around each of two tall pillars. Between the pillars were long shelves filled with flowers and other gifts for the dead left routinely by their loved ones. 

Loki’s eyes fell upon three names that were engraved on the left pillar: _Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg: The Warriors Three_. Loki still felt the wound of their attitudes during his time in Valhalla. They had represented to him the way Asgard saw him. Loki liked to think that wasn’t who he was now. He liked to think that wasn’t how his people saw him anymore. But The Warriors Three had died never knowing of Loki’s redemption. They had died thinking of him as a villain. Just as Loki’s victims had. Loki wondered what gossip about the realms of the living had made it to Valhalla in recent years. He found himself imagining what The Warriors Three might say to him now, if they were aware of everything he had done after their deaths. 

“Surprise!” the Grandmaster screamed when they arrived. The banquet hall was decorated in red the shade of Tony’s suit, and shimmering gold confetti suddenly rained from above. Loki looked down at his dark hair, which flowed past his shoulders. It was covered in sparkles and Loki sighed in exaggerated annoyance as he tried to brush them off. In truth he was used to it; this was simply the sort of thing one had to accept as a part of life with the Grandmaster. But Loki found it worth the sacrifice.

“Wow,” Tony said, half-heartedly feigning surprise. The Grandmaster smiled widely, and Tony grinned back with warmth in his eyes. “Thanks, Grandmaster, it looks great,” he said.

“It really does,” Loki agreed, “brilliant design.” The Grandmaster and Loki adored complimenting each other whenever possible. The Grandmaster beamed.

“Come sit everyone, sit, sit, sit,” the Grandmaster instructed as he ushered them all to the head banquet table, which was glowing from the myriad of candles in the center. There they found Heimdall, already seated, but he rose when Thor approached. 

“Good evening, Thor Allfather,” Heimdall said with a bow of reverence. Thor responded with a friendly smile and gestured for Heimdall to sit back down.

“Asgard,” the Grandmaster called to the crowded room as he stood and clinked his glass of wine with his spoon, “I would like to make a toast.” He raised the goblet, “to our Guest of Honor, Tony Stark: a genius, a warrior, a friend. And pretty damn sexy too,” he added with a wink at Tony. Loki chuckled; he found it charming that the Grandmaster was such a flirt.

“I’ll drink to that,” Tony said with a smirk, and the crowd took a sip from their glasses in unison.

“Speaking of how desirable I am,” Tony said to the team after the toast was done, “I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket and retrieved three envelopes, each sealed with a circle of gold colored wax. He handed one to Thor, one to Heimdall, and one to Loki. Loki looked down at the envelope and saw that it was addressed to him and the Grandmaster. Opening the envelope with the Grandmaster peering eagerly over his shoulder, Loki found a gold-edged cream-colored card with calligraphic lettering.

“You and Pepper are finally doing it!” Thor exclaimed, “congratulations, my friend.” He clapped Tony heartily on the back.

“Aw, damn it,” the Grandmaster said, “if I had known you were bringing wedding invitations, I would have thrown a much bigger party.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Loki said in a soft, surprised tone.

“Sure thing,” Tony replied, and they exchanged smiles.

~

“Sit down, brother, Mjolnir, I want to talk to you both,” Loki said.

Thor gave a worried look, then sat down and set Mjolnir on the end table beside him. Heimdall perched nervously next to Thor on the black and gold couch, also oblivious to the announcement Loki was about to make. The Grandmaster was sitting to Loki’s right on a matching couch, looking impatient. Tony had settled into a nearby chair.

“I’ve been working with Eitri and we’ve made something which, we hope, will give Mjolnir a voice.”

Stunned silence met Loki’s words.

“She will be able to speak aloud?” Thor asked after a long stretch of quiet.

“Yes,” Loki said hopefully, “if it works. Shall we try?” He revealed a small white box.

“Will Mjolnir and I still have our telepathic link?” Thor asked.

“Of course, I would never take that away from you,” Loki replied. Since forming a telepathic connection with his sentient daggers, Loki had grown to understand Thor and Mjolnir’s Bond in a deeper way.

Thor looked at Mjolnir for a moment, his face showing that they were speaking telepathically.

“Then we are ready,” Thor said at last.

Loki stepped close to Mjolnir and opened the box. He withdrew a small metal disc which he lay on top of Mjolnir. It latched on with tiny metal legs that emerged from its edges. A faint green glow surrounded the disc as it melted gradually into Mjolnir’s surface until it could no longer be seen. The green glow encircled Mjolnir entirely for an instant, then faded away. Everyone waited.

“Thank you,” were the first words ever spoken in Mjolnir’s own voice. Its sound was gentle, and gender-neutral in a way similar to River’s.

“Mjolnir,” Loki replied happily, “I am so glad it worked.”

“Woo, go Mil-yard!” the Grandmaster cheered.

“For the love of the Great Allfathers,” Mjolnir replied in a frustrated tone, “my name is Mjolnir, _Mjolnir_.”

“Moon-er,” the Grandmaster said, his tone indicating that he thought he had pronounced it perfectly. Thor glared, and the Grandmaster looked back innocently.

“In any case,” Mjolnir said after a pause, “Grandmaster, Tony, I want to thank you for the work you did on the Orb to amplify the sample of my goodness. I do not know if I could have found my way back without that.”

“Glad we could help,” Tony replied.

“Yeah, yeah, so glad, uh,” the Grandmaster scrunched his face as if in deep thought, “ _Mjolnir_ ,” he pronounced slowly.

Everyone looked at him in mild shock. Loki chuckled and applauded.

“Loki,” Mjolnir said in a serious tone, “thank you, not only for my voice, but for what you said to me, before the final battle with Thanos. If I could have spoken at the time, I would have said how much it meant to me. When you told me that I am not alone.”

The others looked at each other questioningly because they hadn’t been there for that conversation. The Grandmaster shrugged. Loki smiled warmly at Mjolnir.

“You’re welcome, and I hope you shall remember that it’s true. And now that you have a voice, if you would ever like to talk to me about,” Loki paused, not sure if mentioning Hela by name would trigger painful memories for Mjolnir, “your past or how you are feeling, I will be able, and happy, to listen.”

“Thank you, Loki.”

“Mjolnir,” Heimdall spoke, “once again, please allow me to tell you how deeply sorry I am for everything that happened.”

“Heimdall,” Mjolnir replied after a tense moment, “you made choices that were in the interest of goodness. You did not intend to cause me suffering. And you did not force me to join your quest. I made my own choice, also in the interest of goodness. And I am proud of that, despite everything.” After a pause Mjolnir added in a cautious tone, “I am glad to have that to cling to in the moments when I feel the darkness in myself. No matter what else happened to me, no matter what else I did, no matter what,” another pause, “wicked things I may think or feel at times – I will always know that I made that choice, a choice that one might call -” Mjolnir paused as though the next word was a challenge to verbalize, “heroic: the choice to join our quest.”

“Our _victorious_ quest,” Thor said in a celebratory tone.

“Thanks in very large part to you, Mjolnir,” Heimdall added.

“Indeed, you are worthy of our praise,” Loki told Mjolnir, “and you are worthy of being called a hero.”

“So are you, Loki,” Mjolnir said softly, “we came back from the dark. We are both worthy.”

~

_“I knew you would succeed,” River was saying to him. They were sitting at the kitchen table in his suite in Valhalla._

_“Can suite helpers see the future?” Loki asked River, taking a sip from his cup of tea. It was very sweet._

_“No,” River replied, “I just believe in you.”_

Loki woke up suddenly. He turned over and saw the Grandmaster asleep beside him. Loki moved in closer to his body, wrapping the Grandmaster’s arm around himself, and closed his eyes again.

_“I knew you were a hero,” Frigga was saying to him. They were sitting in his childhood bedroom, “I knew it from the start.” She pet his hair and smiled down at him. He was a child in that moment, and he was willing to believe whatever his mother told him._

_“We will both see you again in time,” River’s voice was saying._

_“This is where you will be in the end,” Frigga agreed, “after you have lived a long life, after you have done everything you are meant to do, and been a hero in every way you could. When all of that is done, we will see you again, my dear, sweet Loki.”_

In the morning Loki had the sense he had experienced some of his usual nightmares as well, but he couldn’t remember them.

~

Loki sat by New Skoa River with his pen and drawing pad. A little past sunrise he had finished a drawing of Frigga, which he had started a week prior, and begun a new drawing of River.

“Good morning,” Loki heard Heimdall say, “breakfast is ready.” Loki looked up at him, startled. “I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Heimdall added.

“No, it’s alright,” Loki said.

“Are you drawing the river?”

“No,” Loki replied. He turned his page toward Heimdall, showing the partially finished portrait.

“Beautiful,” Heimdall complimented, “who is it?”

Loki hesitated.

“When we were in Valhalla,” Loki confided, “my suite helper took on form to say goodbye to me.”

Heimdall sat on the grass beside him.

“Do you miss it there?”

“Sometimes,” Loki admitted, “sometimes I think about what it was like before our quest - there was a profoundly beautiful ease in Valhalla, a particular sort of peace that does not exist in the realms of the living.” 

Loki watched the water of the river flow gently between the rows of rocks to either side. It ran all the way down to the sea.

“Now we know what we have to look forward to,” Heimdall replied, “as long as we continue to live our lives in the light of good. Now we know that, despite the sins of our pasts, the Great Allfathers may still deem us worthy of Valhalla.”

“Often I wonder why they deemed me worthy in the first place,” Loki disclosed. “Nothing can make up for all I have done,” he said, eyes fixed on his drawing, “no matter how much good I do, nothing can erase my mistakes.” 

“Nor mine,” Heimdall told him, “nor anyone’s.” He stood up. “But it is what we do with each new moment that matters,” he told Loki as he offered him a hand to pull himself up by. Loki grasped it and stood, and together they walked to the Palace for breakfast. Thor was waiting for them in the courtyard, having just landed from his morning flight with Mjolnir. He waved as he ran up to them, wearing his obscenely energetic good-morning grin, the sun shining brightly onto his golden hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The following aspects were incorporated from the comics: The Grandmaster being linked to the technology of his planet, the Grandmaster having the ability to change his size, Proxima Midnight and Corvus Glaive being married  
> -Let it be known that the Grandmaster was not originally meant to be in this fic. He showed up and I couldn’t get rid of him or make him stop macking on Loki. Eventually I submitted, as we all do to the Grandmaster in the end.


End file.
